Why Doom Eternal WILL NOT be Game of the Year!!!


DOOM 2016 was a FANTASTIC game, but I wouldn’t pretend like it’s perfect… The set pieces tended to get a bit repetitive, at least it was friendly on people who are colorblind, because the only colors were red, brown and grey. Some of the weapon mods were completely redundant, the final boss was really disappointing, some of the weapon mods were completely redundant, (Not even half a minute in and Ale’s already repeating himself, good grief) and ultimately the whole experience is just really shallow. The game only has one string to its bow, that being… *RIPANDTEARBLOODFORTHEBLOODGODALLMUSTDIEBERSERKERRAGERAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH* “Wait, that’s it?” …Of course, “Wait, that’s it?” is WAY better than “Thank fuck that’s over”. I may be critical, but at this game’s low points, it’s merely fantastic, and at its high points, it’s fucking SINFUL. It’s untouchable! But no matter how good something is, there’s always room for improvement, and that’s what it looks like DOOM Eternal is going to be! Now, I don’t know anything about this game, I don’t know when it’s coming out, the only thing I know about it is the 15 minutes of gameplay that they showed at QuakeCon. However, this gameplay footage is real Game of the Year material… …as in, JUST THE FOOTAGE. When the game comes out, that can get its OWN award, like the Nobel Peace Prize, or the Presidency or whatever. However, until that happens, this gameplay footage, just by itself, Game of the Year 2018. Good job people, proud of you. Now this is usually the point where some snarky cunt such as myself comes along and says, “HeY, the gAme isN’t ouT yEt!” “ShOulDn’t yOu bE a biT moRe sKepTiCal, leSt yOu geT diSapPoiNteD agAiN?” Now that is an excellent point, something to take on board. However, my counterpoint to that is I DON’T FUCKING CAAAAAAARE I HAVEN’T FELT AN EMOTION IN SO LONG, JUST LET ME HAVE THIS Also, if a developer is willing to show this much gameplay so early before release, it shows that they’re really confident in the project. Remember what happened to DOOM 2016 leading up to release? You should! Not a lot happened in 2016. Not a lot was known about the game, they weren’t giving out review copies, there was a multiplayer beta that everyone hated, things were not looking good. Then it came out, and it was fucking GOD TIER. That was them being NOT confident in what they’d made! But just going off of that, we could roughly estimate that the developers have made… …the FOURTH Testament of the Bible? I’d believe that! Doom Slayer turning out to be Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior the entire time would certainly fit with the canon! I’d be willing to worship this! That armour’s supposed to have sleeves, by the way. He just did one single mighty FLEX and they just popped off! What is even the point of having other religions at this p- All right, let’s do some actual gameplay breakdown. First off, we’ve got a skybox looking like some Lovecraftian metal cover shit, nice, then after that we go into thh- oouuughhgh~ (And that was the point when all of creation lost its collective shit) MY BOIIII MY BOIIIIIIIIIIII GRAPPLE HOOKS IN EVERYTHING MAKES IT PERFECT (incoherent rambling about grappling hooks) EVERYTHING IS MADE PERFECT WITH A GRAPPLING HOOK SCHINDLER’S LIST COULD’VE USED A GRAPPLING H- Looks like you can only grapple onto enemies, not the ceiling, that would make sense – YOU CAN’T KILL THE CEILING. Looks like they got rid of a lot of redundant features from the last game. Instead of grenades, we’ve got this predator shoulder thing, that is a flame thrower… AND grenades. That’s a step forwards, very good! Instead of the worthless burst shotgun from the last game, They replaced it with a GATLING MINI SHOTGUN! And th… THE CROSSHAIR SPINS! YES! YES!! It was THIS man that came up with it! He’s too beautiful and happy, of course he’s deranged! Uh, instead of the scoped assault rifle, it l… still looks kinda lame, nevermind… This Predator blade thing looks like it’s completely aesthetic. It’s worthle- It doesn’t ADD anything, to gain places to change anything, it doesn’t add to anything! I still want it to impregnate me! Dash-dodging! Sick! More enemies! Sick! The sword that should have been in the final boss from the last game! CANCER. Pure fffucking cancer. And by “cancer” I mean it’s fucking Wall climbing! NOOOO. No, don’t do that! No! Rolled-up newspaper! Wolfenstein: The Old Blood did that, it just padded out time, It was really annoying. *inaudible mumbling* This AI lady is cheeky. I love her. I feel like she’s gonna say some shit that’s gonna get this game in trouble, game will get more press, so more people will play it! Slick! From the gameplay it looks like they’re just trying to expand and improve on the original, which is fantastic. That’s what a sequel SHOULD do. But it’s this cutscene here that REALLY excites me, because it’s probably the best cutscene I can think of… ever. It’s so good, it’s so evocative and character rich with practically zero dialogue! There’s less words spoken here than in the average Call of Duty cutscene, yet it still says so much! You learn about this world and the character of the Doom Slayer, who doesn’t need to say anything, yet his mere presence DOMINATES the room! This force of nature, humanity’s last chad! This exchange here, that doesn’t last more than 20 seconds, is packed with more raw emotion than most games have in their entire story arc! It’s fukken great! If this is what DOOM was back in the 90s, It wouldn’t have been blamed for all those school shootings, because school shooters would be too fucking baited to play it! This is a REAL man’s power fantasy! This is REAL manly shit here! This is man-fucking-another-man manly shit! What’s manlier, dominating a small, tiny woman, or a BIG BURLY BASTARD who puts up a REAL fight?! What I’m saying is, the Doom Slayer is both a gay icon and Jesus of Nazareth, and in 2020 the President of the United States will be a copy of DOOM Eternal on the Nintendo Switch. *closes book* THERE. …Why am I allowed to say anything, what i- why…

100 Comments

  • It will not be the game of the year, it will be the game of the century

  • Rofl this is man fucking another man Manly shit here
    Really made me laugh hard
    A+
    Game of the year
    10/10 would watch again

  • Who cares about game of the year awards when it can be your favorite game personally? Are people still relying on reviews, scores and popularity rather their own personal opinion? Lol

  • Does he do these videos drunk?

  • Don’t worry ale unlike old blood the doomslayer won’t be falling off the wall while climbing it

  • I honestly think doom eternal should honestly be game of the year

  • I don’t know anything about this game

    Also…

    Doom eternal won’t be game of the year

    Uhhhhh? I see why you are sub 500k

  • “It doesn’t add to anything! I still want it to impregnate me!”
    -akindalewar

  • ANGER THE VIDEOGAME 2: PURE FUCKING RAGE!!!!! '*METAL INTENSIFIES*'

  • Game of the year & all of humanyties history is MINECRAFT

  • Dislike.
    Earrape was present.

  • 5:48

    Made me die

  • So what have we learned kids? If you want akindalewar to worship your game, you add in a grappling hook.

  • I gradually went from hating this video to loving it by the end. Good job, sir.

  • What did I just watch……………… (I love it tho)

  • This game won't be game of the year because of the 'anti-SJW' jokes.

  • It just better have some face melting metal music

  • I've watched this like 20 times kindalewar and it's still perfect.

  • CRUSADE

  • I’M….

    O F F E N D E D

  • No love division at the end, top shit

  • I won’t be the game of the year

    It will be the game of the decade

  • Doom 2016….is red, brown, and gray. Oh I'm sorry. What did you think that you'd get from the love child of hell and a barren fucking planet?

  • Don’t talk shit about doom

  • It will not be game of the year because "game of the year" doesn't exist, because it will be an utter repetition of the last game, and people will realize the soundtrack was drastically overrated and was only nominally even "music," not because some game journos will be butttouched at the dad joke from Quakecon 2018.

  • Game of the christianity.

  • can you make an entire song about the outro

  • Those twitter posts have me cancer. Fucking cancer.

  • hahahaha, silly talk and the comment to the vid lol ? whaaaaat ya talkin' about sir ? yer it jus doesn't need 2be game of the year… why wud it ever be? why does it need to be? who cares dude? lol me n my mates play it, itz awesome! and its very very very successful…taH-daH! 😀 hahaha, what are these bonkerz youtube vidz talkin about …lol …mentalist 🙂

  • Easily in the top 5 videos ever made. MA BOI! MA BOOOOOOIIIII!!!!

  • Remember, the word Femenist can be an offensive term. Refer them as Mentally Challenged.

  • This is one of those perfect videos I watch for every so often to put a smile on my face

  • "You can't kill the ceiling"

    enviromental damage mechanics would like to speak with your manager

  • thats cuz ur bad

  • If Alex Jones does voice acting for the Doom Slayer then it's going to be game of the year.

  • well hes right now, it wont be game of ''this year'' because it wont be releasing this year.

  • THE CROSSHAIR SPINS!!!! HOLY FUCK!!!!!

  • that's because it will be game of the century lol

  • Because it got delayed

  • The controversy wasn't that bad…

  • Doom slayer: Let me tell you why…

    Its been dilayed…

  • I am very disappointed that there will be only Invasion and Battlemode as "multiplayer". But talk is cheap, like as if everyones a "slayer". I see on the servers… DOOM 2016 Multiplayer is not much liked by kids of nowadays because u need skill and have to move to stay alive not camp and regenerate health u cant see how much u even have. There is no comparable Multiplayer like DOOMs on consoles. blablabla here in comments and when powers on of xbox or ps they start shit games like fortnite or gtao.

  • Look dude you either play the game or don't

  • Is the doom Slayer really gay or is this just video to poke fun at some people

  • "You can't kill the ceiling!" Challenge accepted!!!

  • The REAL reason Doom Eternal WILL NOT be Game of the Year:

    It got delayed for March 2020. Game of next year, folks.

  • Well now the title makes sense

  • “CANCER, pure fucking cancer. And by cancer I mean, it’s fucking S I C K

  • Actually, the real reason is that is won't even be RELEASED this year.

  • Because it was DELAYED, fools.

  • I think we all can agree Epstein didn't kill himself

  • Jesus take the Super Shotgun

  • "What manlier dominating a small woman or a big strongly man"
    To me a small woman.

  • I guess you weren't following… They released this much footage because of the fallout 76 fallout…

  • You were right. It won't be game of the year 2019. Cause we have to wait until 2020.

  • 1 year later and this video is still legendary

  • How bout an update on Its status?

  • You’re right, it won’t be game of the year for 2019.
    It’ll be the game of the year for 2020.

  • How the hell doom is repeating?

    You must be a very boring person.

  • Let's make Doom even MORE offensive by hiring ALEX JONES to be the voice of Doom Guy. Make Doom Great Again!

  • Uhh I cant wait to have all my saves corrupted every the time again

  • 5:43 he goes what we like to call "Full Roman"

  • This is still one of the best videos on the internet.

    Edit: WaS tHaT tHe BiTe Of '87?!?!?!

  • The thumbnail cacodemon is so cute

  • How Inhumane Of a Beer To Inform Us why He Insisted on his Godamn Thoughts About The doom game.

  • Personally I'd say game play wise other than the wall jumping I'm really excited to play the game because I just like it though ain't gonna lie hope it's doom the tycoon game

  • Shut the hell up Dumas fuckingawesome

  • Oh shit dude you predicted a meme 2:52

  • just came here to dislike this morons video. you re a dumbshit sir

  • Guy on tweeter saying that was a lazy joke. It was a ballsy joke, and a good one too! No need to read too much into it, to "so you're saying…" it. It's funny because nowadays political correctness is everywhere and not enough people make fun of it.

  • Here's something, I wonder besides Doom guy grunting, if he's said a single word, or if he's wrote in a journal or something, I wanna get in his head and see what he feels besides manly awesome aggresion

  • BULLSHIT

  • Every time I get excited about Doom Eternal again I come to this video and it makes it better

  • A wiseman once said, "No game is perfect." And it is true.

  • Im subbing your fuckin hilarious

  • I'd love to hear what you think about everything thats recently come out

  • doom 2016 is pathetic shit and waste of space. doom 3 was amazing.

  • So is ID conservative

  • Was that the bite of 87 before it was cool.

  • It’s not getting an award until we kill the hazbin hotel cast

  • Isaac Clarke is more badass than Doomguy, plus he actually has a real name so…

  • What even was going on in ur mind while thinking of this video

  • Eventually, wall climbing mixes well with the gameplay from the looks of it.

  • These new doom games are garbage compared to brutal doom mods

  • All the doom eternal haters when the gameplay comes out:

    why do I hear boss music?

  • 2:52 was my favorite part in this video

  • The mancubis has 2 eyes

  • "You can't kill the ceiling!"
    IS THAT A FUCKING CHALLENGE YOUTUBE MAN!!!????

  • 2:53 this dude predicted the bite of 87 meme

  • It’s because Doom is boring.

  • The comedic timing and delivery throughout this vid is fucking amazing

  • Gonna be a good year. Doom, nioh 2, resident evil 3, last of us 2, and cyber punk 2077. Plenty of money saved from last year’s drought.

  • It's been a year and this boner still won't go down

  • The new DOOM game. Will be game of the year 👎👎👎

  • doom 2016 was free trial for pro mode called DOOM ETERNAL at least I am going to think that way

  • this is my fav video so far from you. waiting for your review on this game. :p

  • You should see the official trailer 2 now that second trailer was hype as hell and this coming from a person who has never played any of the Doom games and it's just dying to play eternal

  • Hold Up…Did you come back and added the bite of 87 meme, i dont remeber that being there

  • I hope Doom eternal bring ale back to game reviews

  • ITS BACK

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