The Serrano 10 episode (The king and me)

“Love turns normal people into
big freaks. Sometimes they even seem silly. For example, my dad and Lucia.
Since they’re in love, they bite each other’s ears and laugh.
I think it’s funny too when I see them.” Curro, why don’t you…
-Yes, go to the living room. It’s better over there.
It’s better over there. Yes, it’s Tete.
Yes, it’s Tete. Thank you, thank you! I won tickets
for Ricky Martin concert! “Tete’s in love too but with
a famous singer. However, it’s like she stuck
her fingers in a socket and she loves to kiss
photos in magazines. It must be because her
love is impossible, even though she doesn’t know it. My brother Marcos’s case,
if it’s not an impossible love, then it’s a serious disease.
He seems lost all the time. It’s like somebody hit him and
he has a fever.” Marcos, are you in love?
-Are you crazy? What do you know anyway… You have no idea what it’s like
being in love. “I suspect the worst. I will never fall in love
when I grow up. ‘Cause love makes you silly and
do silly things. If you don’t believe me, ask
my brother Marcos.” THE SERRANO episode 10
The king and me I’m here. Hi mom.
-Hey. Good thing you’re here.
This is the third time I’m reheating it. Tete’s not with you?
-She went to Yoli’s to study. That kid will get sick from
all that studying. Does she get to eat something there?
-Well of course. -I don’t know… Hi honey.
Did you fix it? It must be the antenna.
The remote is fine. Ay, TV’s broke, there will
be drama in the house now. Wait, here it is, what did you do?
Damn it… where did you find it? I didn’t touch anything. Look! Curro is the incredible
antenna child! Curro, you’ve found your
place in the house. -Don’t move. C’mon, let’s eat. Tete, Tete!
-What is it? Tete is on TV!
-On what? Who knows where’s that kid!
She should’ve been at her friend’s. Look, she’s in trans. The fans are following the singer
all the way to the hotel doors. “There are thousands of his
fans in Spain. They are capable of crossing
any boundary to get as close to their idol
as possible, no matter what.” Mom, calm down.
Mom, breathe. Did you see that kid?
She’s crazy! Isn’t she studying at her friend’s?
-She’s studying something else. Gille shut up.
The kid looks like she’s having an attack. They had to remove her from Ricky Martin. I find her adorable.
She’s always been photogenic. What are you saying.
She’s lost it… Dad! I can’t believe it. He won an award.
-Seriously, today’s news are like
Capdevilla chronicles. Lucia, I didn’t know your ex
was such a big deal. Sergi? Oh yes.
He’s an important person, lecturer at the university,
he owns 3 companies. It’s no surprise he got
awarded. Mom, he’s been after that award
for 3 years. He finally got it. But what about Tete?
It’s like she’s crazy. Oh it’s nothing. Marcos son! Let’s eat.
-I got a sandwich, I’ll stay here. That guy’s losing it lately. Can I remove my hand now?
Hey! Hey, I am here too. Marcos, what’s wrong?
You won’t eat lunch today? You’re so boring, I said no. Ok, don’t get angry. Do you mind me sunbathing with you? I’ll be quiet.
-Whatever. Oh, we are in a mood today. You need help studying? No, Eva, leave me alone. Eva… what are you doing? You think that’s the way to treat
your sister? You’re my adopted sister.
-Whatever, it’s not cool. Not cool at all. I’ve had a bad day,
I’m not in the mood. Then relay… and enjoy. Wait, wait, they’ll see us. Marcos, we are alone. There’s nobody here.
There’s nobody. Gille, don’t be an idiot,
it’s a dirty cloth. Gille, you’re really an idiot!
-But you enjoyed it. Marcos, can you put lotion on me?
I can’t. No way, put it yourself!
-What’s the matter with you? That’s such insolence. Did you
see what’s that kid doing? I saw it. Ah, Riki!
I love you, kiss me, I’m yours! Gille stop it.
Gille stop it. Don’t be like that, it’s no big deal.
The kid loves Ricky and that’s it. Oh really. And if I ran away and drool over Pamela Anderson’s
boobs you’d strangle me. -Shut up. It’s not that Diego. She lied to me.
She said she was going to a friend’s. Son, what are you doing?
Can’t you see you’re spilling everything! Are you ok? -What’s with you? I’m
thirsty. Can I be thirsty? The sun got to him.
He’s sweating like a chicken. When you’re out in the sun
put a hat on. You’re burning up son. -Cold shower
is excellent for cooling down. Agh, I’m fine damn it.
You’re so boring. Mind your own business.
-We are in a mood… My ex, just what I needed.
-Well answer it. No. -Don’t be like that,
he won an award. Yes? Hi Sergi.
Yes, congrats, we’ve seen it. Mom, call Eva. We’d love to but we can’t.
No, it’s me. I’m overwhelmed with classes.
Here’s Eva, she wants to talk to you. He wants us to come to the
award ceremony. He shouldn’t expect me. But woman, how can you not go?
It’s your children’s father. Stay out of it mom.
-He wants to talk to you. What?
-No Eva. He heard it.
-Don’t worry. Hello? Hey, how are you? It was good the…
Yes, Ibex, right. What?
What? It would be nice if we met?
Well I… Most certainly can’t… Yes, ok, we’ll be there.
Bye, have a nice day. We’ll be there? What did he say?
-He invited all of us to the ceremony. I don’t know why I should go.
-Your dad’s incredible. We’re not going and end of discussion!
-What do you mean we are not going? I want to go. He’s my father.
-You have to take the girls. Diego I’m not going alone.
If you’re not going neither am I. Well, you know what… Then we’re going.
-Awesome! Bravo! We are going to the ceremony! It was awesome.
Ricky came to the terrace. And I think he smiled to me.
-I was thinking about him the whole night. How are you girls?
Tired from studying? Well, more or less, but it was worth it.
Right, Yoli? Yes, we didn’t leave the room. Tete, I didn’t know you could be
in two places at the same time. What do you mean? -Because half of
Spain saw you jumping Ricky Martin. -Impossible. It wasn’t us, we’ve been studying
the entire day. Bye. Tete! Yoli! Stop. Yes, it was us, we weren’t studying.
We lied, sorry. Can I ask how you got to the hotel? By bus.
-Cab. Cab.
-Bus. -Nice. So, not only did
you lie to me, but you also took the bus.
Something could’ve happened to you. What if something happened?
-Mom, I am a grown-up now. I know I shouldn’t take candy
from the strangers and talk to anyone.
-You’re a grown-up huh? -Yes. You should’ve seen yourself. Like a
crazy person having an attack. And forget about the concert.
You’re grounded. To the class! Sorry, I didn’t know…
-It’s ok, I’m done. Sorry. Marcos… Marcos, she’s your sister, you
mustn’t fall in love with her. But she’s not your…
Never mind, it’s the same! Forget about her!
Shoo, shoo! Everything’s fine. Who are you talking to?
-No one. Marcos, you’re acting strange. Dad… come in. You know… I would like to go to the village,
to grandma and grandpa. You never liked going to village. I’m a bit confused, I need to get
out of this house. To be on fresh air, think
about my things… Your “things”? Marcos… tell me. Did something
happen with some girl? And now she’s…
-No, no. -Drugs? No dad, what drugs.
-Ok, ok… Tell me what is it son,
I’m your dad. What’s wrong? Nothing, it’s my stuff. Are you… -Dad!
-Well I didn’t say anything. Just come in.
It must be a deodorant. But it’s a weird colour,
and packaging. It’s just a deodorant.
-Eva… let me ask you something. Is it me or Marcos is being a bit
weird lately? Well since you’re asking, yes.
He’s been a bit lost. Since you see him at school, please, keep an
eye on him. Don’t worry. I think I know what
it is, nothing serious. Here, on the house.
-Oh, that’s new, it’s cold. Santi, you need to fill in for
me Wednesday afternoon. Avoiding work?
-I have an obligation, a cocktail. You have a cocktail? No way. Lucia has to go to an award show.
-They’re awarding Lucia?
00:15:47,400 –>00:15:51,880
Wife of the year?
-Come on. We’ve both been invited.
Something about her ex husband. Which husband? The one from Barcelona?
-What other husband did she have? He won the entrepreneur
of the year. Entrepreneur of the year?
And you’re going? -He invited me. His name’s Sergi. He seems pleasant.
He wants to meet me. What?
Why are you looking at me like that? You really have balls. You’re meeting you wife’s ex while
he’s being awarded. Why shouldn’t I meet that
gentleman? We are adult, mature people. We meet, we talk.
-He wants to make fun of you. To show Lucia she only married
a bartender. What won’t I hear.
And I’m not an entrepreneur? Yes, yes… you’re the king of ham.
What’s your status on the stocks? Don’t you get it, you’re
going straight to lions nest. Him over there with his friends…
-It’s like going to play tennis. And your first match is with Federer. Everybody needs to stay in their own league.
-He wants to brag about the award. Don’t be an idiot. -Oh c’mon…
-If he wants to meet you, he should come here and cut the ham.
-Stop being stupid. I’m off to the workshop.
We have a board meeting. You’ll hear me… I’m not surprised dad got
the award. He’s a well-known man,
“doctor honoris” at 2 universities. He’s a doctor too?
-Yeah, charlatan. He would let me go to the concert.
-I’m no him, so forget about it. You’re right. I seemed crazy.
-Crazy! Ricky, we love you!
Kiss me, I want your child! Mommy, please, let me go
to the concert. You’re not going no matter how much you whine.
Close the subject. “Mommy, let me go to the concert…” I think she got angry. Gille, stop it. Help set up the table. Nice evening, huh? Marcos, you’re…
a bit absent-minded lately. Who, me?
-Don’t try to be mysterious. We both know what this is about.
-Really? It’s more than evident dude. You’re… in love, aren’t you? C’mon Marcos, one can tell. Beside, I know the symptoms,
it happened to me. Really?
-So I’m right? It’s possible. Is it serious, doctor?
-It depends. Tell me who she is!
Who’s that girl? What…
no way. You’re so wrong.
Always the same. When someone’s being weird,
girls think the same thing. Well, we’re not like you, we
have other worries. We have other worries. C’mon… Jose Maria, we did that yesterday.
-When you explained it I was in the toilet.
-Oh really. You’re failing. Sit. The worst, the worst!
-Enough kids! Tete, solve this. Did you hear me? To the board.
-I’d rather not. -What? You must be joking.
To the board. I’d rather not do it.
-Lucia… I can solve it if you want.
-Thank you but no. Tete will explain why she refuses
to get to the board for sure. If it’s not a disturbance.
-Yes. I don’t want to do it. Tete! Tete!
-Enough kids! You won’t come?
Ok, we’ll talk later. Yolanda, come.
-I’d rather not. What, is it infectious? Or you bot would like to talk
to the principle? We’d rather not. Quiet please. The same thing with me. I’d gladly
expulse you, but you’ll leave the class now.
And you’ll stay an hour longer this afternoon. If you wouldn’t rather stay for 2 hours.
No, 2 hours immediately, that’s better. Both out! C’mon! Anyone else has a problem with
coming to the board? Nice. Gille come! Martinez Raul…
-Present. Raule… this is no army.
There are girls. What’s with you?
Where is your sense of humour? Leave him, he’s in love.
-Leave me alone. You are in love and you didn’t say anything?
-Raul! Shut up already. Go to the device with Salas.
Salas, you too. The rest of you, stretching.
-Marcitos, tell me more. So what…
-Leave me alone. It’s an impossible relationship.
Not gonna happen. Marcos, how is it impossible
when you didn’t even try? I don’t like seeing you so sad. Salas, unbelievable. You’re as pathetic as always. I’ve never been in love.
I don’t know what to do. It’s no big deal.
If you don’t tell me who is she, I can’t help you.
Say it, I won’t tell anyone. –Me neither. Wait, let me guess.
It’s a girl… -Her! It’s her! Who is she? –She’s new, but
Don’t tell anyone. You’re not crazy kid.
-She’s pretty. He’s totally lost.
Yeah, you could say so. I’ll help you.
-No Eva. – I will. Capdevilla, your turn. Are you sure it’s her who you like?
-Yes. –How much? Oh man! Two things about Lucia’s ex.
He’s charming. He’s hot. Did you see?
-Yes. He finished 3 universities.
Pray he likes football, Because if he starts talking about economy
You’re screwed. It’s like he’s talking
about theory of relativity. He might be smart, but he needs
more than university degree to embarrass me. Take the invitation,
my hands are greasy. So classy…
-Shhh. C-mon, you went to schools.
-“Economy chamber of Spain… We invite Diego Serrano with
family to the award ceremony… for the entrepreneur of
the year. The committee is presided by His Eminence the king
of Spain…” The king of Spain! What do you mean the king? The king king? Yes, the one from the euros.
-Is that for real? Yes, at 8 p.m….
Castellana street… That dude invited the king just
to intimidate you. –You think? Oh shut up Fiti, you got me again.
-It’s true. He’s ready to take you
in front of the king so your wife could choose between
the winner and the bartender. No, no, it’s not so weird.
We are talking about educated people, people who get divorced and
it’s normal that it comes to an end. And let me tell you something.
If he wanted to impress me with the king, I feel the same as if he brought the Pope. And if we need to compare,
I am not the worst. It says MP. Instead of the stamp.
-No. MP is… –It says here in fine print.
Please RSVP. So there is communion and all.
-Stop messing. Who should I call?
-Here’s the number. Royal house. This is Diego Serrano.
To confirm attendance. For the ceremony… I’m coming with my ex-husband.
I mean my wife’s… No, with the winner.
The recipient of the award. Yes, yes. I have the invitation.
There will be 7 of us. Two daughters and stepsons…
And there-s the ex-wife. No, not mine, his. Yes, the same one. She remarried
to me. All in all? Seven
Thank you. And she says all proud:
“I’d rather not”. I wanted to slap her so hard.
-Don’t you dare, you’d get fired. What did she do to make you
behave like that? –What did she do? You think it’s a small thing she
left to the mall with Yoli to hang on Ricky Martin’s neck!
-Ricky Martin? I haven’t seen him in a long time.
-Candela, enough, I’m serious. It could get worst.
Revolution of a teenager. Could be worse than French revolution. I have a seventeen-year-old daughter
and I’ve been through this period. Yes, but Lucia Eva lived
it internally. Sad songs, crying…
But Tete is an extrovert. She’s like fire.
I’d change my approach if I were you. Tough love?
-No, negotiate. It’s the only thing left.
If you don’t do so, when she’s older, her shrink
will tell her it’s all mother’s fault. And I told them to come to the
teacher’s room, where are they? –Over there. We have concert tickets!
I picked them up from the radio! We’re gonna see Ricky Martin!
My mom! Negotiation… Calm, understanding.
Control yourself Lucia. I am but somehow it gets out
of control. Calm down, ok? Ok, you’re right. Calm down… Excuse me, but didn’t we agree
to meet at the teacher’s room? Fine. I want only 2 things.
I know you’re crazy about that singer. But lying and being cocky in the classroom, I hate that.
-You understand nothing. Ricky Martin is coming! This is our only
chance to see him. We can’t miss it.
Who knows when he’ll come again. You’re young…
-I am not young and it is your fault! Since you got married you turned
into a dictator and a witch! You’re just as awful as Diego! I’m sick of that story!
You want to see the witch? Not only are you not going to the concert,
but you can’t leave the house for 2 days. The end! I’m going to the concert.
-I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you well. Give me the tickets.
-I’d rather not. –Me neither. Give me the tickets right now! Mom, give me the tickets!
-I’m sick of these tickets already! Give them to me,
you know what it took me… Enough with Ricky! What do we do now? We won’t see Ricky! We are going on to the next
topic tomorrow. Isabel II, Bourbon dynasty… Please, spare me the verses,
I know them by heart. Easy, they are not closing the streets. There’s your girls, go talk to her.
-What? No. I won’t talk to her.
-Don’t be clumsy. We need to come up with a plan.
-Plan? No. –Leave it to me. When you’re in love
you don’t think straight. You need to ask her on a date.
-I don’t even know her, Eva. Eva! Sorry, I didn’t see you. I’m Eva, I sit behind you.
-I’m Manuela. Pretty name. Isn’t it Marcos?
-Manuela… It’ the name that… My brother and I thought…
This is my brother Marcos. Hi. We thought that…
Since we are studying for the exam tomorrow, and you don’t know anyone, if you want you could study
with us at the library. Sure, if that’s ok.
-Of course. Right Marcos? Let’s go then, we’re late. I have to give these notes to Raul.
You two go. -Eva! Marcos, ask her out.
Your girls is leaving. Go! Attention! Listen to me, we’ve never been
to such an important event. Curro, I am the king, salute me. Your Highness. Ok, you don’t have to bow so low,
you’ll hit the floor. Now listen. Gille, you be
the Queen. The Queen doesn’t sit like that.
Focus. Greetings. Dad, you’re drooling.
-Curro, no kissing the Queen. Dad, I think it’s the best to observe
what everyone else is doing. –That’s good. When in Rome, be Roman. Let’s move on.. how to eat shellfish?
-With hands. And you rip the head off, it’s the best part.
-No, not with hands, you know nothing.. You don’t eat with hands in front of the King.
It’s not a cart. And you don’t rip the heads off.
And you don’t suck them. Leave the shellfish in your plates
and done. –How does it look? It’s beautiful grandma.
-It’s a special event. You don’t share a meal with the King every day.
-Mom, oh God! I told you it’s better if you didn’t go
this time. It’s tense enough. Lucia… Why tense? If mom, I mean Carmen
wants to go let her go. –See, even your husband
loves me more than you. We need to RSVP.
To confirm the invitations. If I need to make a call I will,
and done. I’ll call my hairdresser.
-Thanks darling, you’re great. And you missy,
you can study for a while, it’s for evaluation.
-I’d rather not. Listen kid. I’m sick of your
stubbornness. It’ll get ugly. Look at me shaking.
– That’s it. You’re grounded. No going out in two days!
-I’m going to the concert! What concert! Forget about it! Look, Capdevilla! Stop it already.
You’re idiots! I’ll bring some ice. You can’t stand in
front of a king with a bruise. Your Highness, I’m a blue-eyed
genie. -Idiot! If the King likes us maybe he’ll
buy us a vacation in Majorca . My dad might give it, he got
the award. My dad had gotten awards.
-Which ones? The worst tavern? My dad has a lot of trophies
with his football team. And playing cards.
-And mine is a chess champion and he wrote a bunch of books.
How many did yours write? My dad is in the Charming Taverns, you know?. And mine in encyclopedia.
-Stupid bratz. Ricky we love you!
Ricky! What, it’s a joke.
-Mom grounded me, I can’t leave the house for two days,
I can’t go to the concert. Ricky, I’m trapped and I
can’t live without you. You know Tete, for a certain amount
we could get you out of the house. How much?
-She doesn’t have to pay. Here, my entire piggy bank.
I’ve been saving the entire year. Where do you want to go?
-At Ricky Martin’s hotel, I’ll ask him for concert tickets.
-Ok, we’re making an escape plan. I want to join.
-Thank you! I’ll help, sure. I’m not sure about this.
-Come out so we can see you, bore. Dude! He’s a waiter.
Two salmons for table 4. What waiter!
Go scrub over there. Wait… Here, the cloth was missing so you
could go cater the weddings. The King will ask for shrimps when
he sees you. What can I do? For such
events you wear smoking. It says nice. “Label!
-You sure that’s right? Wait a minute. When it says “label”,
it means you have to wear labeled clothes. Open up a bit, get Armani or
Versace, that’s a label. Since you’re going to the King,
get him some ham. You take a photo and we put
it here to brag a bit. – That’s right. And you name it
“The King and the gang from the ‘hood”. Well it’s not so strange. You bring gifts to the king
and you take photos with him. Santi, don’t say stupid things.
I’ve had it enough with bringing the in-law. Listen to this, you with the oldie
with few chickens and hams, you’ll be on the news 100%. You’ll be on the news when
I break your nose. And now shut up,
I need to call to let them know the grandma’s coming.
-I can’t miss that. If grandma’s going so am I.
I am family too. Your brother. Shut up! Hello? Royal residence?
I called this morning. Of course, a lot of people call.
It’s Diego Serrano. I’m calling to let you know that apart
from 7 of us another lady is coming. –And gentleman! Shut up damn it!
No, not you. I’m saying, mother-in-law of my
mother’s ex is coming too. I mean, my wife. I mean, she’s…
the ex’s mother-in-law. and my wife’s mother. Ok, long story short, apart from 7 of us
one more lady is coming. Eight. How was it? How, how… How could you do that to me?
You bailed on me. Aha. So how was it?
-Bad. I was embarrased. What, what happened?
-I didn’t know what to say. We agreed to go out tomorrow but
I’m not doing it. You agreed? Great!
And you are. -No. Yes. –I can’t, I freeze.
I get all nervous. She’ll think I’m an idiot.
-Marcos, girls love vulnerability. Not the tough guys as you think. Yeah right.
-Yes. I like guys like that. I don’t know. I don’t know, Eva. You find it easy, but everything
will go wrong. I don’t know how to approach her. Marcos…
-Eva, no… Listen to me.
-What? You’re a great guy.
Any would go crazy for you. I don’t wanna hear you can’t do it anymore.
Besides, I’ll help you. Do you trust me? That’s why we’re brother and sister. Or not? We are or not?
-We are. Nice. Cheer up… We are brother and sister from
stepfather and stepmother. 1200 euros for this.
And besides it sucks. Well it’s Italian fashion,
the best. –Ostrich feathers? Good afternoon. May I help you?
-Yes, a suit. For a cocktail, but not too tacky… Tell the man. It’s a King’s cocktail.
Spanish King. Juan Carlos. Look if you have something classy. I’ll see if we have something. You didn’t have to explain.
-He should see we are VIP. Santi, pass me the opener. I carry it always because I have
a drink cellar. Damn… Fiti… Yes. –Give me your sock.
-How can you walk around like that? Give me, don’t let the snob
from the store see you. They won’t match but ok. –Oh man, Fiti, do you ever wash your legs?
-I may have sweated a little. How do I look in this jacket?
Ou, it stinks here. Santi, get out of here.
No, wait. Do you have coloured socks?
-Yes, only my feet smell. Look at him. Sandals and socks.
Looking nice but casual. Whatever, I’ll try it on like this,
so what. How do I look?
-Isn’t it too tight? I think it’s good, it makes me
look skinnier. I’ll pick that up…
-What? 800 euros.
Gone with the wind… Take it off before the snob returns.
-How much was it? 840.
-That’s too expensive. Wait, wait… let me. Santi, you think this is me? -Well… No, no, I’m not talking about the pants
but the award ceremony. Maybe you’re right and
I don’t belong there. What do you mean? We are a simple but
honorable world. He might represent economy,
but you know your way around ham. You’re an entrepreneur too,
you understand economy too. What’s happening every day,
right in front of you. No need for courtesy, with your head high. You can tell him you
invented mixed ham with cheese. Among other things. C’mon, escape time.
-In 45 seconds, my sister will wait for you at the station.
-Let’s organize. Curro, go downstairs and see
if the path is clear. In the toilet? You threw Ricky Martin
tickets in the toilet? Yes I did. You should’ve seen them
scream, like I chopped their hand off. And you couldn’t have been
a normal mother, put the tickets in the pocket
so we could go? You’re crazy. Negative, they’re in the dining room.
Living room is busy. Let’s go, plan B.
Alternative exit. Curro, go get the ladders and
position them under the window. You overreacted honey.
-And you wanted to negotiate. If you were a negotiator, there
would be war. –She was cocky. That’s why she’s not allowed
to leave the room. Mom you saw her on tv. She was hysterical, like a crazy
person. -Yes. She got out of control,
I understand that. How quickly you forget honey.
-What do you mean? I won’t make it!
-You are not running away dressed like that, are you? How “like that”? –Like a clown. You are
just missing a sign. Don’t you have something darker
or camouflage? –Let me see. I can’t get dressed in front of you.
-This is an exception. -Yes. Fine. I thought I could since she’s
my sister. -Pig. What is it?
-She doesn’t remember Carmen. Miguel Boseo’s hair. You threw yourself
onto his head with scissors. I went to pick you up from the police station.
They thought you were gonna kill him. They overreacted, those were
children’s scissors. I forgot about that. You don’t remember
how your mom grounded you, and I, as always, had to bail you out. I knew you were involved.
-How do you remember that? We were kids. You were tough.
I remember well. We wore black and jumped out of window.
We almost got hurt. Don’t look. And I was making gazpacho. I didn’t
know until the cops called. We were kids, putting fillers
in our bras. What else could’ve we done.
-But we were pros. We’d put pillows under blankets
so you’d think we were asleep. We’d even put a linen sticking
beneath the blanket. How did we come up with that.
We were preparing it for 20 mins. And she seemed an Indian. She drew on her face I love you Miguel. Ladders are ready. You won’t be dizzy? Mom, I can’t believe you fell for that. It is unbelievable that
two kids escaped the house like it were Alcatraz.
-You climbed down on ladders. Something was on tv and we
were laughing. We were so silly. We thought you were asleep, we didn’t
notice anything. We were very naïve back then. So don’t get crazy because the kid
is getting out of control. She’s just like her.
-Ok, a bit. A lot. I overreacted, didn’t I?
-Why don’t you talk to her? Ok.
You’re right, I will. Danger! Lucia’s coming! Horror. Tete… Tete, are you asleep?
-Poor kid. She’s exhausted
from all the crying. Tete, honey… I’m here to apologise. I overreacted, I know. But so did you, admit it. I know you’re at difficult age,
we’ve all been there. But know that I forgive you. And that you’re a wonderful daughter. C’mon! Let her rest, you’ll talk tomorrow. So? Nothing, or she’s asleep, or she’s
pretending to sleep. She said nothing. I’d never forgive you
for the tickets. I was so stupid and insensitive. The worst is there is no way back.
-There is. Get her new tickets. I can’t, they’ve been sold out since October.
-Nothing’s impossible. In which hotel is Ricky
Martin staying? We could say we’re journalists?
-Looking like this? Please. The best way is to be chill and tell we’re his friends.
-Do we look like that? Why not? Smile, c’mon! Hello.
-Good afternoon. We are.. We have a friend
here at the hotel and we would like to know the number of his room.
-What’s your friend’s name? Martin. Ricardo Martin. But you probably know him as
Ricky Martin. Ladies, you’re grown women.
Go to the rest of your “friends”. You were so natural that
I believed you. Are you giving up so fast?
Remember the summer ’78, you me ,Pekasi. No Candela. STAFF ONLY What am I doing here?
-Mother making sacrifices for her daughter. You’re not going because of your daughter,
you want to see him yourself. I want to see him too but..
Put the hat on. What?
-My ex husband. And I told him- as a minister you’re
zero in deficit, but as a gilfer you’re in red. Did you hear that? Your ex is as boring
as ever. Lucia?
-He saw me, I knew it. Here we are. Lucia, behind these
doors is world’s best ass, I mean, after Fiti’s.
-Stop comparing and knock. Room service. Marcos… Nothing, it’s ok.
-Something wrong dad? I was thinking…
Do you think we are a bit overboard with this Lucia’s ex and the King thing? What? -Nothing,
I was thinking. And what the hell is macroeconomics? Macroeconomics? Well… Big economy. It’s in the name dad. No, I asked, if we go, you need to talk with Sergi
about interesting topics.. We didn’t get there at school,
but let’s check the internet. Marcos, leave it, there is more
than 30 pages. I could say I lost my voice. -Dad… We go through this, learn a few words and that should cover few conversations. You can’t understand macroeconomics
in one night. That macroeconomics is…
No way. Dad, we’ll do it together. You should
talk about something in general, about a common topic. -What? I don’t know… Building Iraq.
-How am I supposed to talk about that? Let me tell you something…
Put a map in front of me and I have no idea where’s
Saudi Arabia or Qatar… I know Canada, Spain, France
and Portugal and that’s it. C’mon dad, it’s not so bad.
-Who am I kidding? I’ll be a laugh.
That Sergi guy is a thing. But it annoys me that
Lucia never mentioned it. Of course, she doesn’t
want to humiliate me. Dad, you’re a funny man.
I’m sure you’ll charm everyone. No, Marcos, I’ll be stupid. I don’t want to embarrass Lucia. Well let me tell you… There must be something good about you.
Otherwise Lucia wouldn’t have gotten married. You must be doing something right.
What dad? –Listen to yourself… Don’t exaggerate Marcos. Tete, I think I’m gonna faint.
-The worse has passed. There he is Yoli, 2 m from us! C’mon women, God!
-I can let myself out. Your mother! Oh my God! Tete! What are you doing here?
And look at yourself. Look at yourself first.
-Go! Both of you! We came to get you the concert
tickets but with no success.. But Ricky Martin museum would
give a fortune for this. And this. I didn’t get farther from
the bathroom. Look, his passport and ticket
to Miami. And a golden Visa! Golden Visa!
Give me that. Give it! Hi! Why are you entering like that? –Grandma
bored me so I came. What are you doing? I have a date with Manuela.
-You look like you’re going to a funeral. It’s really nice of Eva to set you up.
You got her on a silver platter. Did Eva prepare you?
-Yes, intense seduction course. Is it practical?
-She’s my sister Raul. Aha. Who are you kidding? What’s this?
-Eva’s perfume. Girls love femininity. You’re gonna
smell so good! You idiot! New cellphone. Did you steal it
from Ricky? – No, I bought it. If you weren’t so dull, we could’ve
been at the Bahamas right now thanks to Ricky’s golden card. If I weren’t so dull, we’d be at
a police station. –At least something. Sergi! Unbelievable .
How did he learn my new number? He must have an ex detector. – Hello, Sergi. Hello? No, Lucia’s at a meeting. Who’s calling? Sergi Ca… Could
you repeat? How about you spell it?
Thanks, I’ll give her the message. When she’s out she’ll see you called.
Ah, no, just a moment. Hello Sergi? Yes. Eva is big enough to… Yes, don’t worry.
Diego RSVP’d. Ok, bye Die…
I mean Sergi. He’s nervous.
-Do you know how many time he called? 5. First who are we coming with,
then what will we wear? What does he think, that we’ll
come in tracksuits? You know what’s the most annoying about this?
-He’ll torture Diego? -No. Diego can defend himself.
It’s something else… Diego’s gonna meet the idiot
I spent 20 years with. And plus he’ll brag now that he
got that damn award. It’s the part of my past I want Diego
to know nothing about. I agree. Hi Diego. What are you doing here? –I can’t come
and kiss my wife? Yes. –And one more thing…
I wanted to tell you. I think I have no business at your
ex’s celebration. It’s stupid anyway. Besides, why
should you go, it’ stupid. No. But you should take the girls.
– I’ll go with them and that’s it. You stay and enjoy at home.
-Ok, since this is not my place… I’m gonna cut some ham. You really solved it nicely.
-Leave it, I’m more calm like this. The thought od Diego meeting
the idiot of my ex bothers me. Marcos! There she is. And one more thing… Be honest, don’t fake it. You don’t want to stay with us?
-Me? Why would I? Your sister is lovely.
I like your relationship. She keeps telling me about you.
-Really? I’m glad we agreed to meet. I don’t know many people and it’s
nice we are going to the library. You’re welcome. –I already noticed you.
-Really? If you want to take me to the cinema
I’d love to go. –Well… To the cinema…
-Tomorrow. -Tomorrow? I’ll call you.
-You’ll call… ok. Manuela! Someone told me to be honest.
So I’d rather you didn’t call. See. this will sound funny,
but there is this girl that I can’t get out of my head.
And it’s not you. I’m an idiot because
I’m crazy about her, but it’s an impossible relationship.
Sorry if I hurt you. Yes. You dumped me nicely. Yes. Um…Yes. Dad… is this good for the King? Yes, it’s good, but at the end
we are not going to the King. But why?
-No reason. Go change. And I told everyone at school.
No vacation in Mayorca now. Diego, have you seen the invitations?
-Over there. -Good. How do I look?
-Good. Are you sure you don’t want to go?
-Yes, don’t insist, I told you. Go, no worries.
-As if I don’t know you. What is it? Nothing, you don’t need to
be a genius to notice how happy you were when
I said I didn’t want to go. It’s ok, I understand.
You don’t want your clumsy husband at the cocktail with ministers, the King…
-Wait, wait! Diego, you’re so wrong. How can
you even think I’m ashamed of you? No, it’s just that my ex is an asshole.
That’s the only thing I’m embarrassed about, you meeting the idiot I spent
so much time with. Wait, but I thought…
-Diego, what are you thinking. Lucia, if he’s an idiot, I don’t want
to miss it. Let’s go! Curro, go change, we are going
to see the king. Are we going or not?
We are. -Awesome! Marcos… Marcos, your dad says we’re leaving
in 5 minutes. Are you ready? Marcos? Come in Eva. Are you ok?
-Yes. If that’s possible.
After Manuela said she doesn’t like me.
-What do you mean? She didn’t even have time to meet you.
What did you tell her? Nothing. I was very honest.
-That girl is crazy. What does she want? I don’t know either, but whatever. The worst part is not knowing
if I’ll ever find the right person. Marcos, don’t say that.
You’re a lovely guy. You’ll find the right person. I am sure I’ve found it and I
doubt there is another one. Sorry, it’s my fault.
I made you have high hopes. No. I don’t have regrets.
It was nice while it lasted. Excellent.
We are going to the cocktail now, we will kill ourselves eating shrimps. Ok?
-Yes! –Let’s go. No, I’ll finish getting ready…
-I’m waiting. Don’t be long. Watch the break…
feel free to step on it. So embarrassing mom. Why didn’t you
tell them to take a cab? Don’t start, don’t be a snob. Get out already.
That’s my hat. –Sorry! What an entrance, clown’s hat is
the only thing missing. -Mom… Here, right?
-Yes. –Invitations, please. I forgot the invitations because
of the nerves but we’re on the list. We are the awardee’s family
Ex wife, ex mother-in-law, daughters and stepsons…
-Don’t say no more. You’re Diego Serrano.
-Yes, that’s me. We talked a few times.
You can come in. Sorry, do you have any metal on you? Bottle opener.
Since I work in a tavern… Come in. A you wish but please think about it. It’s only consulting.
We want the Capdevilla stamp. Thank you mister minister. But I have to think for a while. Excuse me, I need to use the restroom. Listen…
-Yes? Are you talking to me?
-Yes. you. Can you pass me the toilet paper?
-Well… yes. There’s none her and I didn’t
see it, so… –Right away. Here. Down… Thanks. Sorry. I’m sorry you are… I mean,
you are Sergi Capdevilla? That’s me. –I am Diego Serrano,
Lucia’s husband. Your ex wife. Ah, Diego. Nice to meet you.
-You too. I really wanted to meet you.
And congratulate you for your award. We came with your two daughters.
The whole family is very happy. Yes, I’ll see you later.
-Yes. Thanks for the invite. You’re welcome.
-I’m gonna go since it’s about to start. Go, go, I’ll be finished soon. -Bye. Ah, yes, it was nice meeting you.
I gotta go… Yes, bye. So you met the ex in the toilet?
And the king too. And queen Sophia was clipping
nails under the table, huh? It’s true. The King came to the toilet
and we were there. Ask Curro and Gille.
-You drank too much, admit it. You’re crazy. What a story… It’s true,
why would I lie? Besides, I have proof. Let’s see… Oh c’mon… C’mon, hurry. Dad, this gentleman looks like
the King. –Shhh. He is the King you idiot! Your Highness, a pleasure
I am DDiego Serrano. These are my sons,
Gillermo and Curro. Pleasure Sorry I don’t extend my hand. It was a good New Year’s message.
Very touching. Thank you, we do our best. –Sorry,
could we get an autograph? They won’t trust me at school I’d met you.
-Better a photo! Stop saying stupid things! No, I don’t mind.
Ok, a quick photo. Here, c-mon, shoot. Say cheese… Gille… But you can’t see his face. Half of Spain is saying they peed
with the King. But how do I explain?
My story is true. Tell me something…
-What? Did you get a quick glance or…
-Of what? Diego, the man was peeing.
Well, at the thing.. What are you saying Fiti?
We are talking about the King. The King is the King. King huh? Well, fine.
I did glance. Talk!
-But I didn’t get a good look. What I wanted to ask… How…. What…
what’s it like? Well very… Very bourbon. Translated by: Jovana Jasovic

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