TERRY CREWS// THE ARSENIO HALL SHOW 11/8 (2 of 3)


>>TODAY WE’RE GOINGRKO WO T ON OUR COURTROOM DEMEANOR. THE SEMINAR IS NOT OPTIONAL, DIAZ. YOU’RE TESTIFYING IN AN AGGRAVATED ASSAULT CASE TOMORROW. THE D.A. IS WORRIED ABOUT HOW YOU PRESENT YOURSELF ON THE STAND.>>I’M FINE ON THE STAND. I’LL MAKE IT REAL SIMPLE SO EVEN THOSE DUM DUMS CAN UNDERSTAND. MAN DID CRIME.>>LET ME MAKE SURE THEY KNOW, THERE IS ACTUALLY AN APP, A PEC POPPING APP ON ITUNES.>>TERRY CREWS PEC POP PLAYER. ARSENIO: YOU TOLD ME EARLIER THAT YOU PERSONALLY DRIVE THIS MINI-VAN. NOW, DON’T YOU DRIVE A MINI-VAN IN THE SHOW AND YOUR NAME ON THE SHOW IS ALSO TERRY?>>I’M THE ONLY CHARACTER NAMED AFTER MY CHARACTER. THERE’S ONLY ONE OF ME. I MEAN, YOU CAN’T — THEY COULDN’T EVEN — THEY WERE TRYING TO WRITE IT AND THEY WERE JUST, WE’RE JUST GOING TO PUT YOU IN HERE. ARSENIO: TELL US ABOUT THE SHOW.>>”BROOKLYN NINE-NINE,” THE ANDY SAMBERG VEHICLE WHO I KNEW — YOU’RE ONLY AS GOOD AS THE PEOPLE YOU WORK WITH IN THIS BUSINESS. THAT’S THE THING. YOU CAN’T DO IT BY YOURSELF. I HAVE BEEN BLESSED IN THIS COMEDY GAME TO BE HANGING WITH THE WAYANS BROTHERS AND YOUR BOY EDDIE MURPHY. ADAM SANDLER AND THE WHOLE THING. AND I KNEW I NEEDED TO BE ON THE NEXT WINNING TEAM AND I KNEW THAT WAS ANDY SAMBERG, ANDRE BRAUGHER. ARSENIO: OH, ANDRE. HE’S BRILLIANT.>>YES, HE IS. ARSENIO: HOW’S HE DOING?>>HE’S LIKE SIR ALEC GUINNESS, LIKE, HELLO, I STUDIED MY ACTING AND I’M LIKE I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING, I GOT TO BE A BETTER ACTOR BECAUSE I’M NEXT TO BRAUN BRAUN — ANDRE BRAUGHER AND HE WAS IN “GLORY,” AND WE WERE SINGING AND ANDRE COMES OVER, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” “OH, MAN, I’M SORRY, WE JUST PLAYING AROUND.” HE’S LIKE, ♪ OH, MY “LAW AND LO” AND UDIS DE IS ON. ARSENIO: TELL THEM HOW YOU GOT NORBIT.>>WOW. THIS BUSINESS HAS BEEN SO INCREDIBLE TO ME. I GOT INVITED OVER EDDIE MURPHY’S HOUSE. YOU GOT TO UNDERSTAND, WHEN YOU’VE BEEN INVITED OVER EDDIE MURPHY’S HOUSE, EVERY YOUNG, BLACK PERSON TRYING TO BE — ARSENIO: COMEDY ACTOR.>>THAT’S RIGHT, GOING TO SEE JESUS. REALLY, HE IS THAT — IN BLACK COMEDY, THAT’S WHAT WE ARE. SO I GET OVER THERE AND FIRST OF ALL I WALK IN AND I’M NERVOUS. I’M LIKE, JUST DON’T MESS UP, DON’T MESS UP, DON’T TOUCH NOTHING, BREAK NOTHING, BECAUSE IT’S TOO BIG. I WALK IN THE KITCHEN AND I SEE YOU AND I SEE ARSENIO IN THE KITCHEN LIKE — AND I’M LIKE, HEY. NOW I’M ALREADY BLOWN. THEN I SEE SUGAR RAY LEONARD OVER THERE MAKING HIMSELF SOMETHING TO DRINK. OH, MY GOD! AND THEN AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS THERE’S EDDIE. THIS IS WEIRD, THOUGH, BECAUSE EDDIE LOOKS AT ME LIKE — ARSENIO: YOU HEARD THE MUSIC?>>THE MUSIC STOPPED FOR ME AND HE LOOKED DEAD AT ME AND I’M LOOKING BEHIND ME, IS THERE SOMEBODY ELSE? HE COMES DOWN THE STAIRS, TREMENDOUS STAIRCASE AND THEN HE WALKS ACROSS THE ROOM. OH, HE’S COMING TO ME, AND I REALLY THOUGHT THAT HE WAS GOING TO KICK ME OUT. I SWEAR. I THOUGHT HE WAS LIKE, WHY IS THIS DUDE IN MY HOUSE, I DON’T KNOW THIS DUDE. HE WALKS OVER TO ME, HE SAYS, TERRY, HEY, MAN, I’M WRITING THIS MOVIE, “NORBIT,” YOU WANT TO BE IN THIS MOVIE WITH ME? AND I’M LIKE, DUDE, YOU HAD ME AT HELLO, MAN. DUDE! THAT IS THE DREAM. YOU CAN’T EVEN MAKE THIS UP. IF SOMEBODY WROTE THAT, NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE IT. ARSENIO: I TOLD HIM — WE WERE AT DODGERS STADIUM RECENTLY, I TOLD HIM, ONE DAY, I HAVE BEEN WORKING OUT, I WANT ME AND YOU TO HAVE A PUSH-UP CONTEST BECAUSE YOU KNOW HE’S IN INCREDIBLE SHAPE AND I WAS THINKING TONIGHT MIGHT BE THE PERFECT NIGHT BUT HERE’S THE THING. BUT HERE’S THE THING. MY WARDROBE STYLIST SAID YOU HAVE ON A SUIT AND YOU CAN’T DO PUSH-UPS. WOULD YOU COME OVER FOR A MOMENT. I DON’T HAVE YOUR NAME BUT HE LOOKS LIKE HE COULD DO SOME PUSH-UPS. HOW ARE YOU, SIR. WHAT’S YOUR NAME?>>NICK. ARSENIO: THIS IS NICK, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. HOW ABOUT, YOU-ALL HAVE A PUSH-UP CONTEST, THE ONE THAT LASTS THE LONGEST IS THE WINNER. BUT YOU ALL PLAYED FOOTBALL, YOU’RE IN IMPECCABLE SHAPE. I SHOULD SIT ON YOUR BACK AND SOMEBODY SHOULD SIT ON HIS BACK. ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I’M THINKING?>>YEAH, I AM. ARSENIO: COULD IT WORK?>>WE GOT TO BRING MY BABY OUT. THIS IS MY WIFE, Y’ALL! THIS IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, RIGHT HERE. ARSENIO: AND SHE’S A SHOE SHOPPING NINJA, LET ME TELL YOU. SHE SHOULD SIT ON YOUR BACK.>>USUALLY IT’S ANOTHER POSITION BUT — ARSENIO: TERRY CREWS, PUSH-UP-OFF, ON YOUR MARK, GET SET, GO! [SCREAMING] ARSENIO: WE’RE GOING TO BE HERE ALL NIGHT. I THINK IT’S A TIE, IT’S EYE — A TIE. STOP, STOP, IT’S TOO MACHO IN HERE. IT’S TOO MACHO IN HERE! TERRY CREWS, REBECCA CREWS. WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK!

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  • FANTASTIC!

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