REACTING TO 90s TOYS: MOON SHOES (I almost died)
OHMYGO- Are you ready, to see something AMAZING? Something FANTABULOUS? something super FANTAKALACALA- It’s not even that cool, it’s just plastic. MAC! WHATTUP? My jaw, is healed, finally. I can move it. It took me an entire month. I had to talk like there was a permanent dick in my mouth, but you know what? We’re great now. Well as you guys know… I have this thing that I do I guess it’s called a series. Shall we call it a series? Am I feeling boujee today? Where I review 90s to early 2000s toys to see Were they even freaking worth it, you know? I wanted many things in my childhood. Many things that I couldn’t get because my parents were evil. They weren’t evil… They were just bitches. But now that i am an adult and no one can stop me… I am redeeming my childhood Michael Jackson style! …Wait- I am now buying the toys I always wanted! Because… I this is- this is what i do now. And this toy specifically… honestly looks like a piece of shit, but To be honest what didn’t back in the day? THIS TOY CHANGED THE NATION! STARTED A REVOLUTION! OBSECTED A GENERATION! And will probably break my ankles and dislocate my knees if we’re being honest. Or I’ll probably break it before it breaks me. Let’s be even more honest. Do you know how much I weigh, bitch? BOWM Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you – the most hazardous mistake of a children’s toy… Moon Shoes! *Bad 90s music for Moon Shoes begins to play* *From a noticeable distance* MOON SHOES *Song begins to play again -_-* *Mac stares at screen bored, contemplating life* MOON SHOES *Stares at camera, unimpressed* MOON SHOES Advertiser Voice: “More fun! From the creators of the wiggle wiggle rider.” …What? Yep, that’s right! From the company of Squiggle Wiggle Riders … whatever the f*** that is. The one and only Moon Shoes! Anti-Gravity defying shoes! First of all… The kids weren’t even jumping that high in the video. Who the hell you trying to fool with anti-gravity, bitch? Anti-gravity for two seconds? Y’all best believe my black ass can jump higher than all those kids in that video… and also best believe my heavy ass is lying *Of Course* MOON SHOES “Lightweight and strong” We’ll see. M O O N S H O E S “Fun and easy to learn” We will see OON- SHOES “Fully adjustable strap” Like my sex life! Okay! Oh look, it’s me! A random black boy on the box! Every black boy in media’s me, right? *uhm* At least that’s what you guys been telling me on twitter. Honestly, he is having a good time. I am not upset if that is me MOON SHOES Also this is the most 90s looking font I’ve ever seen in my goddamn life how do we get away with this shit? “Ages 7 and up” I turned 21 in less than 20 days. So I think I fit in that criteria, right? Maximum weight: 130 lbs …Welp. *Dead air* …This is gonna be a great video. Let’s open this bitch M O O N S H O E S Mac: MOON SHOES!!! *Searching noises brought to you by MacDoesIt* …and, what? Wait a minute… okay *Confusion* what? WHAT? what? HA HA OH! Oh, ok. Okay, so we have to put it together. My millennial ass is not looking forward to this Did people just like, work harder in the 90’s? I mean, I swear to god If I have to put together this toy back in the day that bitch would have never left the box. Do you understand I’m lazy? *Moon Shoes theme* Bitch? Bitch?! Bitch. Kay, here we go. “Moon shoes… M O O N S H O E S “Moon Shoes have been designed and manufactured for your use and enjoyment” So have many things *Very sassy, Mac* *Petty mode: Engaged* Moon Shoes, you ain’t special, bitch. “-both indoors and outdoors” …what’s an outdoor? -SHOES “WARNING: Adult supervision is recommended when using this toy” Check! Ha ha ha… …bitch. Okay, now how the hell you put it together -kay, wait… How the hell do we put it together? *same* Which way does it…? The shoe goes IN the shit… and the band goes OVER the shit and suddenly you’re defying gravity. That’s how science works Wicked will be SHOOK ..and, there we go Boom! Wow! These are ashy as hell, what? -Kay, so… Take, a most likely really poisonous rubberband Then you… put it through… ..this shit? I know what I’m doing *Sure, Jan* I’m a Youtuber, I always do, right? I know what I’m doing *Insert RPDR sip gif* Kay. Bam! Then we just.. Oh mah god, stop moving Oh mah god. Wait. Wait. I’m having trouble putting a rubber band through a hole, bitch. Y’all really think I’m bounce on this shit ? Okay. And then we stretch… -OON Right? Right. And then… Put that bitch throught the holes Wabam! *Okay, Amy Duncan* MOON SHOES Moon Shoes! *Uncomfortable laughter* I did it ^_^ There we go, we’re done. MOON SHOES *More nasally* Moon Shoes! Okay *Annoyed “Move”s* Ow *Grunts* There we go! *laughs* Moon Shoes! MOON SHOES Honestly, this is gonna take me absolutely forever. I’m already tired These rubber bands are sturdy. They’ll hold me up They won’t hold me up. Who am I joking? MOON SHOOOOES More fun! Update: I hate this. But I kind of partially got one shoe down LOOK AT MEEE *We were already doing that* Actually doing something with my life Destroying the Millennial stereotype, right? -SHOES Let’s talk about life. *Please don’t* How is everyone? How are the kids? The box also says, “Moon Shoes are a fun and aid in the development of balance and coordination” Honestly it’s what I need nowadays. Now that Trumps president, right? That made no sense. *No it didn’t* Nothing makes sense in this world anymore right? FUN MOON SHOOOES *Rubber band flies* *Yells* Ohp, no Welp, at least it wasn’t my face *God: O RLY?* *Gets hit in face* Ow. *Laughs* MOON SHOES* Note: Wow. Okay. Boom. Aaaand *MGS V: Sins of The Father* BOOM *Laughs with pride* *Shenzi from The Lion King* *High pitched Gaston* *Inhales* *Katya without the wheezing* It has been a total of… Forty minutes. And I have one shoe done. *…Really Queen?* I’m taking a break. *Quick Commercial Break* *O_O* Kay, I’m back. *You ain’t gon’ explain that to us?* *Sarcasm* Wow i’m having so much fun… FUN Wow, Woooooow What a blast… *Such enthusiasm* MOON SHOES Let’s sing a song. *Flashbacks to the noise cancelling headphones video* ♪ Do you ever feel ♪ ♪ Like a plastic shoe ♪ ♪ Getting rubber bands onto a bigger thing ♪ ♪ Did you ever have to that for a video ♪ ♪ And then slowly regret ♪ ♪ Everything ♪ ♪ You just gotta ignite ♪ ♪ The shoe ♪ ♪ And get them views ♪ ♪ Cuz baby you’re a desperate bitch ♪ ♪ invested money in all this shit ♪ ♪ Make your social blade go up ♪ ♪ Up – Up ♪ WALK ♪ So you can feel impor-or-tant ♪ *BEYONCE WHO?!* MOON SHOES! …shit. *”FUN” that begins to distort* Eehehe-nd we are done! *Ed from The Lion King* Thank you guys so much, for watching ! *Oh hell no* And all this took me was a simple hour and 10 minutes Now let’s have some fun! MOON SHOES -Kay. I love multi-angled videos *A slight distance away* MOON SHOES! I wanna be this girl. I wanna be her. I mean i’m already this dude, but I could be more people. It’s 2017. Oh look! He’s bigger on the side I love representation *Thank you Sasha Velour* MOON SHOES Moon ShoOES! *Mac showing us his vocal range* And what a surprise! The shoe doesn’t fit. *Trixie laugh* You know what? It’s not my fault that I have such a big dick. *Insert laugh track* Y’all thought i wasn’t gonna say it! We are now strapped in for the best of our abilities *Not sure that’s how it goes* Wooo Don’t look at my hole. *Which one? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)* FUN Okay. Boom. Let’s try this. MOON SHOES Okay MOON SHOES Here we go. The time we’ve all been waiting for. An entire hour of prep. Built up to this Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you… Bouncing on the moon! *Struggles to get on his feet* *Weak* moon shooooes! MOON SHOES Y’know, we’re just gonna… We’re just gonna. OH MY GOD I’M SCARED *Hit it Nikki* Moon Shoes! MOON SHOES Wait- wait. Wanna fix the camera so I can stand. I’m coming. I’m on my way. I’m almost there. Here we go. Kay, you guys ready? One. Two. Three. Moon Shoes! *Laughs of pride* *Mac’s fall from grace* FUN Wow this is my life *Unintelligible* Moon Shoes! *Mac’s Happy Meal* I’m not that fat! MOON SHOES Okay. I’m going to emulate the black boy. Well it’s already me but you know what I mean. Hands in the air… *Hops* Moon Shoes. I can’t- I CAN’T Don’t be a pussy, Mac *WOW* Even though vaginas are great and important for life. One. Two. Three. *Pauses again* *Hops 2cm* I ca-ha-han’t FUN *Come on, hops!* Okay. Okay, that’s it. My god *Praying by Kesha* Is this the moon? Or is this my living room? *WOAH* I can’t tell I’m falling i’m falling I’m falling MOON SHOES God, Moon Shoes. I rate these shoes a 10 out of 10. Haven’t died yet! Tweets: “Quick! What should I do with my moon shoes???” Mitochondria says: “Drugs” Honestly i feel like i’m on a lot right now. “Dance boi!” OK, just for you. I’m twerking, not because it’s convenient. Do the Stanky Leg, on the moon. MOON SHOES “Do something gay.” *wow* Wow, that was hard. OH WAIT, I forgot the stickers! They came with stickers. Is this Gucci? Is this Prada? No, It’s a mess. SHOES Oh my god, my feet hurt SO MUCH. “Shit yourself?” Honestly I think I already did. I’m falling I’m falling and on that note ladies and gentlemen I present to you the MOON SHOE 😀 Anyway, my name is Mac These are The Moon Shoes I might die comment down below what is… Where? who? Yes and are there any other things you want me to review? TWEET ME! Anyways I’m gonna go break my ankles bitch, but not in a good way. don’t forget like, comment, share, and subscribae BWAH!