“My Waterbed” | Russell Peters – Almost Famous Outtake


>>Russell Peters: I had a waterbed– for 15 years. [Low laughter] From the age of, 15– to 30– [Laughter] I had a waterbed. [Laughter continues] [To audience member] Young kid, how old are you, buddy? [Inaudible] How old? [Inaudible] Eight– 19. Well, which is it? Are you aging, while we’re talking? [Laughter] [Inaudile] You just turned 19? Oh, so, do you know about waterbeds? [No audio] [Off-screen]>>Russell: No. I can see, the blank look, on your face. [Laughter] Let me explain a waterbed, to you, alright? Vince, already knows. [Laughter] Uh, a waterbed is a– So, it’s, uh, just a giant bladder– [Laughter] It is. It’s a giant bladder, that you fill up, with water, and uh– it has a big strong wooden frame, around it. You need the frame. ‘Cause if you don’t have the frame, the bed’s just gonna, roll all over the house, right? So– It’s like, one of those squishy toys, you know, the one’s you hold, and– Oh! He! Ah! He! Ah! Ah! [Laughter] So, you need the frame, and the frame has to be strong, right, so it came with these nice, strong frames, and uh– They came in, like, the same size beds, as normal beds, but they were, like, slightly bigger, you know, like, I had a single, but it was a “super single.” [Laughter] It was like a single bed, but super! [Laughter] And I had these, uh– it has padding. You may not know this, it had padding, that goes right around, the bed. I had this gray, velvet padding, that bumpers around the bed. You need that, because– it’s a solid, wooden frame underneath, and, you know, you don’t wanna turn in the middle of the night, and catch a side wave, and then– [DOONK!] bang your head. [Laughter] ‘Cause then, they’ll make you start sleeping, with a helmet, you know, ’cause– [Laughter] “That’s the world we live in,” you know? [Laughter] So, I had the– the– the gray, velvet padding, so if you– [DOONK!] You know, you’d just hit it lightly, and then you’d know, where you were. [Laughter] and then there was, three grades of mattress, you can get; There was, uh– The best one, was motionless. The motionless mattress, was the expensive one. That’s the one that had a– a giant sponge, running through it. So, that way, the water wouldn’t slosh around. And then, they had the semi-motion, which had half the sponge, running through it, and then, there was the cheapest one, which I had, [Laughter] Which was, the full-motion [Laughter] and, uh– I don’t know why– I don’t know why, you would give a fifteen-year-old, a full-motion waterbed. [Laughter] I’m 15. I’m at the height, of discovering myself! [Laughter] Every time I would jerk off, it would sound like a tsunami in my bedroom, just– [WOOSH!] [Laughter] I’d literally have to wait, to catch the wave! [WOOSH!] [Laughter] [WOOSH!] [Laughter continues] [WOOSH!] [Laughter continues] And it was loud! My parents knew, every time, I was jerking off! [Indian accent] “He’s at it again. HE’S AT IT AGAIN!” [Laughter] [WOOSH!] [Laughter continues] And then my dad would be, [Indian accent] “Uh– Uh– Russell, what are you doing?!” [Laughter] I’d have to cover it, [Imitating a seal] “I’m just– I’m just playing, “Marineland,” dad!” [Imitating a seal, loudly] [Imitating a dolphin] [Laughter and Clapping] ♪ ♪

100 Comments

  • This guy is lame AF

  • holy shit my stomach aches

  • this is hilarious

  • this is hilarious

  • He is fucking hilarious ๐Ÿ˜€ Love his shows

  • now i want a waterbed

  • Civilization fortune segment violence hearing training little.

  • pause the thing at 2:45. Have fun giggling your ass off. Hands down the best thing i ever did today. haha.

  • 3:14 is that jus reign? Wow if not that guy looks fairly close to him :]

  • VERY FUNNY HAHAHAHA omg last part was a killer

  • I can't find a video where he talks about his daughter bed ?!?!

  • he at it again he at it again…๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Never ever drink water while watching any of these.

  • I never understood this but, why do people jerk off in their rooms and not like, in a bathroom or something? That way u have the excuse that "the sound" is actually the sound of piss

  • ๐Ÿ‘ก๐ŸŽฉ๐Ÿ‘ž๐ŸŽฉ๐Ÿ‘•๐Ÿ•ท๐Ÿœ๐Ÿ›๐Ÿฆ‡๐Ÿฆ‰๐Ÿฆ ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ผ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿˆš๏ธ๐Ÿ†š๐Ÿ†š๐Ÿ—‘๐Ÿ“Ÿ๐ŸŽ‡๐ŸŽ†๐ŸŽ†๐ŸŽ†๐ŸŽ†๐ŸŽ†๐ŸŽ†๐ŸŽ†๐ŸŒ†๐ŸŒ‡๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ—พ๐Ÿคพ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคพ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคพ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคพ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคพ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคพ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคพ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคพ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคพ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคพ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคพ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคพโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿคก๐Ÿ˜”โ˜น๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฐ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ‘บ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ‘ฟ๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿค’๐Ÿค•๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜“๐Ÿ˜“๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿคข๐Ÿค”๐Ÿคง๐Ÿ˜ช๐Ÿคง๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜“๐Ÿค”๐Ÿคฅ๐Ÿคฅ๐Ÿคฅ๐Ÿคฅ๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜“๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜“๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ฐ๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ช๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜“๐Ÿ˜ฐ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ˜ฐ๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ช๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ช๐Ÿ˜ช๐Ÿ˜ช๐Ÿ˜ช๐Ÿ˜ช๐Ÿ˜ช๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿค๐Ÿค๐Ÿ‘บ๐Ÿ‘บ๐Ÿ‘น๐Ÿ‘น๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ผ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ’‘๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘งโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘งโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘งโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘งโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ’‹โ€๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘งโ€๐Ÿ‘ง๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘งโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘งโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘งโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘ง Gdfdd V

  • That was lame

  • Soon destination thank prescription bedroom assignment route however softly assert

  • this giys a legend

  • lmao that 19 years old killed me

  • he makes fun of all. all means ALL.

  • peter Russell looks like Mr Bean let's be honest๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  • it looks like an advertisement for waterbeds

  • ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ playing marine land

  • Omg, I'm tearing up LOL

  • So funny

  • Ek gaan et de ses amis de ma ร 

  • why is his pants so high

  • hey russel , is that ย the ย bed ย you were talking about ย ??ย 
    https://i.pinimg.com/736x/1b/d1/50/1bd1503a115f20e303c7233770d0ba19–little-girl-bedrooms-kid-bedrooms.jpg

  • https://youtu.be/bbHu3FPMszA
    Watch this can you dance like this indian girl

  • ๐Ÿ˜‚ never laughed so much

  • I've never been convinced to buy a water bed. Until now.

  • I m just playing marine land dad lol

  • Funniest comedian lol

  • I prefer him making fun of the Indian bastards.

  • Russell, you have me in tears of laughter haha! You are by far one of the best stand-up comedians Iโ€™ve ever watched. No one can compete against you. Keep up the awesome work! Much love from New Jersey. #proudtobeanindian

  • ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Wooossssshhhhhh๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Who is better ? Pakistan vs India vs sri lanka

  • loooooool

  • 3:18 what kind of Muslim woman would laugh or even attend this show?? I hope she has a good answer when God asks why?

  • I love Russell's Dad lol. "He's at it again!!" lol

  • Years ago, my Grandparents had a waterbed. That thing ROCKED.

  • Oh u fucking jerk !๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Lol, tsunami!๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Lol ๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Who else got a wetting the bed ad before this vid? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Lol……."boojonk……"

  • Somebody gonna get a hurt real bad.

  • The best

  • I was annoyed and thinking where he is going with this waterbed joke. Hahaha, the elaborated intro made the joke 100x funnier.

  • Marineland!

  • Please come to Philadelphia or nearest metropolitan city – Thanks

  • That was so funny!!!!

  • Jerking is masturbating?

  • a lot of elder ppl and families and women..that wasn't appropriate Russel

  • "Gray velvet padding"
    *people laughs*

    What the fuck..

  • Full motion waterbed is impossible to fuck on. Cant do pushups on it.

  • Man this is funny

  • This is what I like. Although he is obviously an americanized Indian, we still see how much asian influence on him. Like, instead using the word "bang" he uses the expression "doung" for the head bump.

  • he's at it again, HE'S AT IT AGAIN

  • Awesome!

  • 0:21 HAHAHAAHAHHAH

  • Always savage๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  • This is a weak story and not funny. Such a long story for a weak punchline

  • ๅพˆ้ป„ๅ•Šใ€‚

  • Catch a wave to jerk next stroke… Winning

  • Russell sure must be a pervert!!!

  • I had a queen size waterbed as a teen. One day while I was laying on my bed reading, my 300 lb father thought it would be fun to belly flop on the side I wasn't on… I no longer have a waterbed.

  • why was this part cut from netflex its really funny.

  • I like his sense of humour

  • โ€œHeโ€™s at it again! Heโ€™s at it again!โ€ ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  • He's at it again

  • Heโ€™s at it again!!! Heโ€™s at it again
    ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

  • i like before i watch, this guy is a legend

  • Great

  • saw jus reigns @3:14

  • LMFAO!!!

  • Off the hook Russell, watched many of ur videos and this was the bomb ๐Ÿ’ฃ

  • He can make a joke out of anything

  • Every decision you have ever made has lead to you reading this comment

  • Here is a guy making millions of dollars making filthy jokes and people call him an expert. May be others don't have the talent to say such filthy things humorously but the filthy content is something to be opposed. Everyone knows what happens and we make fun of all these filthiest jokes among our friends. so nothing big in his jokes.
    No healthy jokes from this idiot?

  • 1:02 ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ˜˜

  • This one is so funny ๐Ÿ˜‚, canโ€™t stop laughing ๐Ÿ˜†.

  • Guess what! Im 15 and i have a waterbed ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Why your dad sounds like 'Ranjit"

  • I donโ€™t think I shouldโ€™ve watched this late at night I think I might of woken everyone up from laughing my ass off

  • Marineland lmfao

  • Thank god my bed didnt make any noises when i was at the peak of "discovering myself" ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  • He is the world best comedian…

  • I have to watch you every day…..๐Ÿคฃ

  • TAKE IT AND GO

  • Ha ha

  • HAHAHAHA! That's hilarious! I'm 47 and I had a waterbed at 15 too! My folks had the motionless one and I had the wavy one. EXACTLY the way he described it!

  • Waterbeds you give one push and get 2 for free ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • 3 grades of waterbed ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ’€

  • Raw

  • I'm still on a waterbed.. It's a soft sided… Can't sleep on a regular bed

  • hears swooshing noises
    Russell's Dad : "SOMEBODY GONNA GET HURT REAL BAD"

  • He is at it again . He is at it again
    Lol

  • Wouldn't it be difficult doing it on a water bed lol

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