H3 Podcast #7 – Post Malone & Joji

best podcast ever! yay! lets get this party started Ethan: Welcome everybody to the first episode of the H3 Podcast LIVE! Joji: Yup yup yup yup yup. Malone: Woo! Ethan: It’s actually like the seventh episode, but this one is live- on Twitch dot T4. Twitch dot TV forward slash H3H3 Productions. Malone: Yeah. Ethan: Where we’ll be live streaming, every week, Friday 3 P.M PST. Unless we’re late. But we shoot for that time. Today we are joined by my good friend and, a–a sweet lovely guy, talented artist, you guys know him as Post Malone. Malone: What’s going on? Ethan: He’s–he’s the best. Malone: Fam-lay. Ethan: Fam-lay! And before we begin I just wanna say, that.. This is my little shilly moment I have to do that to, you know, support the show. Usually we’ll have ads, but I’ll say it. So tomorrow on Twitch — Amazon bought Twitch and they have this wonderful thing where if you have Amazon Prime, you can link it to your Twitch account, and subscribe to our stream for FREE! That’s literally free money! From Amazon. It’s the craziest thing ever. The revo we get from that is so awesome–it makes this experience a wonderful thing for us, because we get CHEDDAR. Malone: Luh dat cheddah. Hila: That Chedda! Malone: Luh dat cheddah! So if you have Amazon Prime, smash that subscribe button, link it to Amazon, And we get a FREEE subscription. Malone: Let’s see if we could get this podcast to uh, 500 trillion likes. Ethan: I’m shooting for half a–uh 500 trillion? I’m looking for–what’s over a trillion (quadrillion!)? Malone and Ethan in unison: a ZILLION! Ethan: Can we get 1 ZILLION likes on this motherfuckin– Malone: we need 1 zillion likes boi! Ethan: *transitional cough* TM So, how are you feeling dawg? Malone: I’m fantastic; I’m a little, uh, hungover from last night, um Ethan: yeah, I was there Malone: but, I only hit my snooze button once, and I’m here, and I’m ready to get weird, come on BOI. Ethan: We were originally planning it to just be me and Hila, since we’re troubleshooting this, and I was hanging out Austin, last night, and I was like, “Dawg, do you wanna join us, like friend-of-the-show-style?” Like, obviously we wanna have you on like, exclusive, I was like let’s ‘friend-of-the-show’ this shit. and uh, Austin–what time do you usually wake up? Malone: Like, whenever this started–Not, not the original start-time, but like 4:00 Ethan: 4 Malone: yeah Ethan: So when I wa– Ethan: So when I was like, “YO, be there at like, can you be there at like 3″ Malone: (crosstalk) yeah Ethan: And you’re like–like, I understand you made a real commitment for us Malone: I Did, I did, I asked if there was any flexibility and you said there was, and you know, I was on time, but Ethan and Hila were..NOT..so Ethan: yeah, that makes sense Malone: to all the people in the Twitch comments, it’s not my fault. I’m just a Guy. Ethan: it’s definitely not your fault. Malone: I’m just, people say I have really beautiful, blue eyes, but I’m just a Guy. Ethan: You’re–you could be both; you can have beautiful, blue eyes and be Just a Guy. Malone: You really think so? Ethan: NO Malone: oh, okay Ethan: No, you can’t Malone: Anything? YES Ethan: Um So obviously– Malone: Thank you, sir. Ethan: Obviously, we don’t usually drink–I don’t think I’ve ever drank on camera. Malone: heah Ethan: Ever. Ethan: Like, Hila, a lot of YouTubers do like, ‘I’m getting drunk and doing some wild stuff’… I’m gonna kiss a boy.” ..I don’t know what people do when they drink.. Hila: Kiss a b..? Ethan: I Don’t know.. Malone: It’s strange that that’s the first thing that came into your brain Ethan: But, um, today, in honor of Austin coming out, we got a 30 pack of Bud Light..We have like, how many cigarettes, can we see like Malone: uh, uh I think half a carton–5 packs, including this one–um, I’d say 100 Ethan: 1 Hundred Ciggies? Malone: yeah Ethan: In total? Hila: I love the look of this, it’s so classy. Malone: Look at this. Ethan: That’s what’s up. Malone: This is class. This is class at it’s finest. Ethan: Mmm Malone: We’re making labor for it. Ethan: Nothing like walking around with 5 packs of cigarettes in a lil plastic baggie.. You should tie that around your waistband, when you go out Malone: *laughs* Ethan: Make sure TMZ knows what’s up Malone: Right, that’s very.. Hila: *laughs* Malone: We should have like a, uh, satchel, like a, you know, people in the medieval times would carry their coins in somesort of a coin purse Ethan: Mmm Hila: Yeah. Malone: Like, fine leather, beautiful embroidery Ethan: See.. Malone: Maybe some like torch patterns on there Hila: I’ll add it to my clothing line Malone: Yea, yeah, let’s go..CIGGIEPOUCH Ethan: CIGGIE POUCH Malone: Ciggie..CIGGIE POUCHIE Ethan: Here’s the thing though. I like the plastic bag look… Hila: I like that too. Ethan: if we could just get Malone: really? Hila: yeah Ethan: If could just get Gucci to make a Malone: Plastic bag. Ethan: yeah Hila: It’s like the new classsy Malone: It’s like, it’s kinda like.. Ethan: GARBAGE FASHION Malone: You know when you can’t tell if it’s ‘Homeless Guy’ or Fashion. Ethan: yea Malone: You ever play that game *laughs* you ever play that game on the street, like, ‘Is that guy homeless or he just fashionable as fuck?’ Hila: It’s very, I mean, it’s The Ethan Ethan: It’s the Ethan Look?.. Hila: It’s the Ethan Look. Ethan: People know that I’m not fashionable, they just know that I’m homeless as fuck Hila: *laughs* Malone: I was telling Ethan, that he needs to get some, uh, Gucci sandals Gucci, Gucci thongs Ethan: Well, I was, I was telling Austin, Hila’s trying to, she’s trying to break me down We’ve been together now for 10 years, and now all of a sudden, she’s trying to break me down She’s trying to get me to stop wearing SANDALS.. Malone: I’ve seen you putting on some Vans, outside the first time, I noticed you looked very SWAG Hila: right? Ethan: Yep, I’m wearing Vans today which Hila: I’m, I’m trying… Ethan: isn’t the epitome of style, but it was better than what I was wearing, which was like, old man potatoes on my feet Malone: *laughs* So did you change those this morning, did you–is that what you were Ethan: Here, let me show you guys.. Malone: Check out these kicks boi! Ethan: I mean, it’s literally JUST a VAN. Malone: Those are on fire, but we match. But I’m the good version Hila: You see, you’re matching! Ethan: It’s true, you’re the angel. Malone: I look like a mental patient. Hila and Ethan: *laughs* Ethan: I love that picture, Austin put this picture of him on Twitter GLOWING Malone: yeah, It did look very GODLY. I looked like Hercules. Ethan: Can you pull that up, can you pull that up? Hila: What am I pulling up? Ethan: Oh, we can’t show the TV, I want to see Austin glowing. Hila: Oh, we cannot. Ethan: But maybe with the…–anyway.. So, I have a funny story from, from yesterday, we were hanging out. I’m gonna tell you guys why I hate Los Angeles–I like Los Angeles, but there’s a couple things I hate about it. Here for example, We’re hanging out, at Austin’s house, there’s all this shit on the counter–we’re drinking, we’re smoking, we’re having some laughs, couple a gaffs Malone: GOOFS Ethan: SPOOFS, LAUGHS, RIOTS, ROMPS Malone: ROMPERS Ethan: And uhh, there’s like a little chocolate on the counter, and I’m like ‘little chocolate!’ , right? I’m having a–I gotta a little buzz, let’s have some chocolate. And, like, Whenever–here’s the thing–whenever you eat a chocolate or beverage, you take some anything from a counter or someone’s fridge, You have to check it and make sure there’s no THC in there. Malone: I have one good song Ethan: IN California, you have to make sure there’s no THC on random snacks. So I look at this thing, and I’m like ‘yea, looks like chocolate,’ give it to Hila, she eats it. How was it by the way? Hila: Of course, you give it to me…*laughs* Malone: cause you’re the tester Ethan: I was trying to TAKE CARE of you. Malone: you gotta test them out Hila: I know Ethan: It was just one little bite, and I was like Hila, put on some cows, baby, Imma trying to take care of you, girl. Malone: NOTHING about that piece of chocolate indicated that it had weed in it. Ethan: Right. Hila: I know, but it did look kinda weird–like it was weirdly small, and packaged really nice–like a tiny cube of chocolate in a really nice package Ethan: I did wonder like, who– Hila: And so, it did cross my mind, I asked you, and it looks a little weird, but.. Ethan: Like, who would go through all that effort to package this one little bite, of chocolate Hila: yeah Ethan: But, it was too late. So Hila– Hila: And it was such a small bite, that I just put it in my mouth and it immediately melted Malone: So, it was too late at that point. Once it makes contact, you’re high as fuck. Hila: Yeah. Malone: Pretty much. I love it. Ethan: So basically Hila downs this chocolate and I look, I put on my jewelers binocular, and then I see, ‘oh it has 25 mL of THC, at the bottom.’ And then, we’re like, we need to leave. Before she gets worse. Hila: I immediately tasted the weird flavour, and I was freaking out. Malone: And by that time, it was already melted, so you couldn’t do anything. Hila: Oh my god, I was like, okay.. we got to go home. Malone: Ethan comes up, he’s like YO, YO, Yo, Yo we gotta go dude, uh Ethan’s our only chance, so I have to go right now. Ethan: Thing is, Hila was sober. Malone: Right Ethan: Hila was our sober driver, and now all of a sudden she’s about to start going weird and wild with it. Thing is, we don’t ever smoke. So, when that shit comes on, it comes HARD. Hila: And I know– Malone: Ethan afterwards was looking for, *laughs* for something else that has weed in it. Cause he didn’t want to leave her alone, that’s sweet. Hila: And I know edibles are always super strong, like if you see a brownie, I know you’re supposed to take a tiny bite… And I ate the whole cube, so I was freaking out Malone: How was it when you got home? Ethan: Hila was blasted. Malone: Really? Hila: hehe, yeah. Ethan: She was talking to the walls and shit. *laughs* I was like, this is weeiirrdd. Hila: Yea, it was weird, and Ethan fell asleep so I was just by myself like tripping out. Malone: DAMN, I thought you were gonna be there for her! Ethan: I, I tried. Hila: He tried. He did try. Ethan: I was drunk, and before we left, I was looking for edibles cuz I didn’t want to leave her, like you mentioned. Malone: If you had taken it, you could’ve went quicker, you would’ve went down quicker. Ethan: yeah, maybe. But, like, it was kinda a mistake, because I don’t ever smoke, I don’t eat shit, and this morning I woke up, and I feel–I don’t understand people who– ..I know alot of people enjoy it, it doesn’t work for me. Like I woke up this morning, I FEEL like I have AUTISM. Malone: So, what did you do? Ethan: I just, I just feel like– Malone: You smoked? Ethan: No, I ate it, I ate some. Malone: Oh, of a munchbar. Ethan: At your house. Yeah, Of someone’s munch-bar there. *snickers* So, I munched on someone’s BAR. Malone: *laughs* Munchin’ on Bars. Ethan: It’s like an official munchbar, TM. Malone: It’s like a thing, it’s a munch-bar. TRADEMARK Malone: THC Ethan: So I munched a bar.. Malone: I’m gonna break a couple rules. Ethan: Oh, dude when Post Malone’s here, we smoke, we drink, we get weird; I wanna flip this table, I’m gonna fight Alex, and then, Jason–shit’s gonna get weird for you. So we’re gonna be drinkin’ and smokin’, so let’s go. I don’t know if, I wonder if our landlord– Malone: Fuck it dude, let’s turn these fucking, let’s turn these business dudes on their heads. Ethan: This is the new way, man. Malone: Turn them, flip ’em once–Judo throw. Hila: Is it, is that like a– Ethan: Fire hazard? Malone: Maybe we should put a towel on the door, like a hotel or something Ethan: Just so the p–I think we’re fine. But there’s like a lot of carpet; that smell is gonna get NICE in here. But I’ll always think of You. Malone: Exactly. So I’m just trying to help you guys out and give it a little rustic house–like your Grandma’s house or something. Ethan: Grandma’s house..smell some cigarettes. Malone: Yeah. Cuz ever since I was a kid, Grandma been blowing smoke in my face. Ethan: What, really? Did your Grandma smoke? Malone: Yeah Ethan: Huh. Malone: She had ashtrays all around the house, like just very conveniently–in every room. Like one of the tall ones at the hotel–I think she stole ’em from hotels–cuz they were really classy, very noice. Hila: heah Ethan: Wow. Grandma, Grandma Malone. Malone: Grandma DIANE. Ethan: ah, Grandma DIIAANE. Malone: Diane, Diane Frasier. Ethan: OH Malone: On my mama’s side Ethan: So that’s you name, Frasier. Malone: Mhmm, mhmm. Like a, like the TV show. Ethan: So, growing up (in wee bit Irish accent), watching your grandma– Malone: GROWING UP! *laughs* SO, GROWin Up *laughs* Ethan: Did I say that funny? What The Hell. Oh, Ok, I have dyslexia, I feel–BTW, Malone: *laughs* You’re gonna watch this back and be like, why was I Irish? Ethan: Well like I was saying, anyway, the point of the story about how I ate edibles yesterday was just to say, like, I woke up this morning and I feel like I have mild autism. I legit think that being high feels like having optim-autism. Malone: OPTIMISM. *both laugh* Ethan: YOU SEE, you see, I’m just, I’m just putting out a disclaimer now, so you guys know why I’m specifically autistic today. And it’s not, you know, whatever. Anyway Um so, where were we? So you grew up with your Grandma, she was smokin’ around ya? Malone: well, yeah, I mean, you know, that’s uh, that’s how we get down. You know I grew up–I was born. *Ethan TM cough* So I was born in Syracuse. Ethan: Where’s that? Malone: uhm, upstate NY. Ethan: hmm Malone: but, yeah SYRACUSE BOI!? Offscreen Sycracuse boy: Buffalo Malone: Buffalo Ethan: Buffalo Malone: Buffalo, yes, so I was born in Ethan: That’s where Keemstar lives, what an honor Malone: Really? Ethan: From Buffalo Malone: Erm, yeah dude, I was born in Syracuse. My, my grandparents lived in like, Walton and Rochester and all that stuff. And, you know, my mom’s side is very like country, and loves tractors and horses and stuff, So, they just love to smoke anything that they could get their hand on Ethan: Huh, whatever’s good. Malone: Yeah Ethan: There’s no tobacco Malone: He was just runnin’ around and just having fun holding me bouncin’ on the like Ethan: That’s dope Malone: I love her to death, ummm Ethan: Do you… Ethan: When did you leave upstate New York? Malone: I was nine, I moved to Dallas. My dad works for the Cowboys. GO BOYS! God’s team, America’s team Ethan: Woo go Cowboys! Malone: The roof, the roof opens so you can uhh, watch them– So God can watch them play. Ethan: HA HAH! It that right?! Malone: Yes, that’s true, that’s actually a Fact. Ethan: The thing is like–you would assume that God can see through a roof… Malone: Haha, I know but, you know, he’s– Ethan: Symbolic. Malone: You think he’s, like, he’s got
FLAWS–just like us He’s one of us. Ethan: He’s like, ‘Can you guys open the roof..” Malone: COULD YOU PLEASE–I just want, I just want to watch the BOYS! come on Ethan: That’s like a bad perspective too. Malone: Could you imagine God in a, in a COWBOYS JERSEY? Ethan: So.. *breaks in laughter* God is definitely a Texan in a Cowboy’s Jersey. Malone: Cool AF. Ethan: yeah, God is blazing a Camel Crush right now and drinking a Bud Light. Malone: I really enjoyed your guys’ enthusiasm when I said Cowboys. Hila: yeah! Ethan: Well, you know, we gotta, gotta support you. Hila: I don’t know, it’s like, Cowboys.. Ethan: Cowboys. Malone: Cowboys. Hila: It just sounds cool Malone: yeah, it’s nice Hila: even when you don’t know what it is. Ethan: It’s true, you can’t–it’s hard to deny the power of being a Cowboy. Malone: its true.. Ethan: So, do you have fond memories of when you..lived in NY?, or like.. Malone: I was kinda like.. Ethan: ..do you remember it? Malone: No-Not really Not really that much. Ethan: Mhmm Malone: It’s like, I remember one memory ACTUALLY a Couple memories. I could tell you guys a couple memories, Ethan: Yeah. Malone: You wanna take a trip down memory lane? Ethan: Imma light one of these up in your honor. Malone: Yeah, kill it. Ethan: Guys, I don’t smoke, I don’t endorse smoking, But when I’m with Austin, he makes me wanna smoke. *watch out, yung Papa thug over here* Hila: it’s just cigarettes doe–it’s not Malone: It’s just cigarettes with a LOT of Weeed packed into the– Hila: Just want people to know.. Ethan: Obviously it’s safe..based on my previous story.. Hila: *laughs* Ethan: ..Smoking is like THE worst thing ever for me. Anyway. I’d love to hear your stories–take us back. Malone: This one’s a QUICKIE, SHORTIE SHORTIE–SHORTIE but a QUICKIE n’ a GOODIE aand, um, I tried, I got a Snowmo–Snow..board for Chistmas And I tried to snowboard in my front lawn.. Hila: *laughs* Malone: That’s one memory that I remember.. Ethan: It was that snowy?! I mean, that’s interesting to say– Malone: No, I mean, there was, there w–I literally couldn’t, you know you’re supposed to snowboard down a hill or something Hila & Ethan: yeah Malone: There’s was just a yard I was just like, wtf? I don’t know.. Ethan: Did you shred? Hila: Was it flat? Malone: I WAS shredding some powder. –I’d tell you that. Ethan: Wait, was there snow ON the lawn?.. Malone: There was snow. Ethan: Ok, so you shredded. Hila: And it was flat. Malone: yeah; I shredded. Hila: heh Malone: Umm, another great memory.. *clears throat* My birthday’s on July 4th. So, every year, my dad would get hella fireworks And shoot them in the backyard. Ummm.. ..And I hated it. I was so scared–I thought the cops would come and arrest everybody Hila: Oh my god Malone: and, one time my friend Vinny threw, uhhh, a match into the whole box of fireworks and then Ethan: OOHH, Vinny! You DEGENERATE! Malone: *laughs* ah, fucking Vinny dude! Ethan: Yo Malone: ..and he wore JNCOs –I just remembered, that’s a great fact about Vinny. Ethan: What’s that? Malone: Those BIG jeans.. –Like the really big, rave–RAVER jeans, yeah. Ethan: How old was he? Hila: Is that like from– Malone: He was Older than me. I was mat-mature. Hila:–like the hip-hop jeans? From the like 90s..? Malone: Hiphop? Ethan: No, it’s like raver jeans–like the big-ass jeans, like Hila: Oh, the really wide one?.. Both: Yeah Ethan: Have you EVER seen a person in those jeans and thought like, That’s a normal guy.. Malone: Right, This guy doesn’t have ANYTHING wrong with him… Ethan: hyeah right. Malone: But at that time, I didn’t know, so..um –Shoutout, shoutout to Vinny, shoutout to Vinny Ethan: Do you still talk to him? Malone: Nah, I haven’t talked to him for minute. Ethan: I hope you’re still rockin’ those jeans, boi. Malone: I hope you’re still killin them JNCOs BOI. ..And he threw it, and it exploded everywhere… Ethan: Hhhhm Malone: and that’s a Great story, um..*laughs* a really, uh, uh inconclusive story Malone: Yeah, man. Ethan: OH HOOO Can you guys see that on the wide? So, usually we’ll have a camera setup that we can switch to, but for now.. That’s what Austin’s been talking about. Malone: This guy’s cool as hell. Look at the other photos of him though, like he did a whole look-book. Hila: Oh wow Ethan: Let’s flip through ’em. Malone: Yeah he he he HEA! Wooow! Ethan: SO what–What do you think when you see someone like that? What are you supposed to think, what’s– Malone: *laughs* WHY is he skating on iPhones? He’s got lik– Hila: Oh yeah–What?! Malone: 6 iPad minis on. Hila: Do you think you can make this cool? Malone: JNCOs?.. Hila: heah Hila: Do you think you could bring it back? Malone: Umm, you know, I’d give it a try. Ethan: I think that would be a great outfit for ahh– Hila: I think that’s a real challenge. Malone: I would need my Puka shell too. Ethan: Puka shells and JNCOs. We should do a video like that. Malone: My new–That’s what’s my new album called. That guy is kinda cool, the guy, the fourth guy. Ethan: Oh, that’s sick. He’s like tilting on the whole planet under him. Malone: He’s sick, he’s P.L.U.R.E. Malone: I love how like– Ethan: OHMYGOD, it’s like a tent, you could like take a nap under there! Malone: I love how they have to show them off. You know before the picture he had to flare them all out as wide as he could. Ethan: that’s true Malone: To show like– Ethan: Look at his glasses too. Malone: ‘Look how big MY JNCOs are’ Ethan: Look at that fuckin’ bucket hat. Malone: *laughs* Ethan: And those glasses. Malone: I love how NOTHING matched back then. Ethan: Yeah Malone: NOTHING went together. Like, he’s got brown/grey/green/blue. Ethan: I still haven’t figured out matching. I don’t understand matching. Malone: Matching? See, you don’t wanna match tooo much. Ethan: Yeah, you don’t wanna be one of those guys that’s got like Blue hat, blue shirt, blue socks, blue shoes– Malone: You don’t wanna be the type of guy to wear ALL, like, ALL WHITE to like a– Malone: H3H3 podcast Ethan: GLOWING ANGEL Malone: yeah, you don’t wanna be that guy Ethan: White you can pull off. Malone: ..Mental patient look. You know, I just escaped from the psych center. Ethan: As long as you GLOWING. Ethan: Can you pull up that picture Jas–uh, who’s on the laptop? You Hila? Hila: I’m on the laptop. Ethan: Can you pull up the GLOWING Post Malone? Malone: WEED IS LAME. Hila: I already have it open. Malone: Look at this. Hila: *laughs* Ethan: What happened? Malone:Look at this. Ethan: There’s NO Filter. Malone: no filter.. Ethan: Truly– Malone: #nofilter Ethan: Truly, the Gods that watch over the Dallas Cowboys was watching this podcast now and blessed you with a glowing aura. Malone: I look great. Ethan: oh my god Malone: I look like Hercules …From the movie Hercules. Ethan: You ARE Hercules. Reborn. Malone: Really? Ethan: maybe We just need you to do a feat of strength. Malone: ok What do you need me to do? WELL, I carried this 30 pack up the stairs. Ethan: And you had like a really fast recovery time. Malone: and then in a surprising one minute, I was back to normal breath. It’s a kind of incredible. Ethan: So how’s it like– Malone: *Bud Light burp* Ethan: –so before you released Malone: Sry Hila. Hila: ah, I appreciate the apology…*laughs* Ethan: WHAT ABOUT ME?!! Nah, I can handle it. Malone: Yeah, you can handle it, you can handle it. You gotta beard. Ethan: So like, if you–for those of you who don’t know the story of, of Post.. Malone: You still drinking this? Ethan: no Ethan: I like the flavour of– Malone: ..of just ash. Ethan: So, for you guys who don’t know the story of Post Malone, Let me–correct me if I’m wrong– But you were doing your thing, you were making some, some indie music, just doing some shit on your own. Malone: Yeah, I was just running around. I was making, at tha– At ONE TIME, I was in a–I was doing acoustic sets at a restaurant.. I was doing.. Ethan: Really? Malone: Umm Ethan: Like gigs. Malone: Yeah. Like gigs. They give me 200 bucks and free Chicken Parmesan, so Ethan: That’s a good deal. Malone: it was fuckin’ sick. Yeah, it was great, it was great. Uhhmm, I was in a.. metal band. Making beats. Making a mixtape. Malone: Yeah. Just everything, yeah. Ethan: And I’d seen some of your weird shit too– I wanna watch those, some of your weird like, sketches you made. Malone: Yeah. I mean there’s only ONE. Ethan: There’s one class one. But before we get into that, I wanna talk about, Basically you were doing all that stuff, and then you made White Iversion, right? Malone: yeah Ethan: And that,–where did you post that originally? Malone: Soundcloud. Ethan: And did it blow up on Soundcloud before Youtube? Malone: (to Hila) Post Malone Old Sketch Hila: Would that work? Malone: No, you gotta type in Leon DeChino. Ethan: So, you posted so–anyway, K-Just to give context, Austin, Post Malone, He made this music video to White Iversion, and now it has, like, almost 400 mil views. Malone: That’s crazy. Wild. Ethan: Which went, it just went MASSIVE Malone: It went BONKERS. Ethan: It went HUUGGEE. So you posted that originally on Soundcloud, and people were digging it then. Before the–on YT? Malone: YEeaaahh. SO, I, I maybe I had put it on Maybe I had put it on Soundcloud AND Youtube at the same time.. but, Soundcloud was REALLY where it started, like POPPING. Ethan: Right. Malone: you know what I mean? It’s like– I woke up, and then the next day it had thousands of plays and that was where it was from.. Ethan: Really?! Malone: I think it had, TENS of Thousands Ethan: So just completely unexpected.. Ethan: ..overnight Malone: Yeah, my homie Key put *Another One* Sry, Hila Ethan: Sorry, Hila. Ethan: Apologies to Hila. Malone: Yeah, so we put out the song and my homie Key tweeted it, and I guess he– Wiz fucked with him, so Wiz RT’ed it Ethan: Ahh, Woww. Malone: And I woke up and I was just like, ‘Wow!’ All these people that I listen to heard my song. Ethan: That’s crazy, that’s so cool. Malone: Yeah, it’s crazy, it’s wild. Ethan: How did you feel? Malone: I felt Great. Hila: *laughs* Ethan: Just that huge, immediate– Malone: WILD. CRAZY. Cuz I never thought that anybody would ever like anything that I’ve ever made. Ethan: Hmm Malone: So..it was–it was mindblowing. Ethan: Everyone probably feels that way to some extent. Malone: YEAAH. Ethan: I definitely felt that way when we were making videos. Although, we were making shit. That’s song’s great. Malone: HUMBLE BEGINNINGS, you know. Ethan: Yeah, humble beginnings. Hila: Which one-which one is your actual upload? Malone: Oh, idk, they might be–probably the f- Probably umm… Ethan: I mean, that top one looks good. Oh no, is that before– Click that top one.. Let’s just see, I mean 4 minutes–that’s gotta be it, right? Malone: This might be a whole video. *Pre Malone vid plays* ‘Let me tell you a little story’ Ethan: So anyway, pause it for a sec. Hila: Is this it? Ethan: We got it on deck, we got it on deck. But so–how long did it take on YouTube to where you got, to this point, where you had like hundreds of millions of views? How fast was that? Malone: UMM, Not– I mean–it, I got a million views quickly. Ethan: Hmhmm Malone: Cause we shot the video–we shot the video Very… Kind of.. A long time after the song came out. So.. The song was already kind of POPPIN’. So we put the video up–it cost 5,000 dollars. And.. Ethan: You put like all your money down on that? Malone: Yeah, well me and my manager did, yeah. So, we just shot the video and it just started Poppin’ and Ethan: That’s so dope! Malone: ..and here we are. Malone: Four, FOUR times Platinum. Stony’s um..Platinum. Ethan: I’ll cheers to that. Imma crack a beer. Malone: Yeah, come on crack–pop a top. Ethan: CHEERS. Hila you in on this? Malone: GOT EEM! Ethan: Bud Light. Malone: GOT EEM! Got EEM! Ethan: This show’s brought to you by….. Hila: *laughs* Ethan: Bud Light. –When is Bud Light gonna start paying you? Malone: ..By LOOTCRATE! Ethan: Is Bug Light paying you? Malone: N-They should be. No, we’re talking to uh, them right now, they– I think they’re gonna do my festival. Cause I, I think there’s some legal stuff, you know.. Cause I’m so young. Ethan: Hmm Malone: 21 So..I think you have to be 25, so. Hila: Oh, wow. *laughs* Ethan: To get a alcohol advertisement? It that like, US law? Malone: I think so. I THINK so. But I’m not sure, I haven’t really looked into it that much. I just know they give me free beer, and I’m, CONTENT with that. Cause *laughs* what do you need? Ethan: *laughs* I mean, you br–dude, you, you You’re drinking lots of beer. Malone: It’s good stuff. Ethan: That’s like a HUGE sponsorship. Malone: It’s good stuff. Ethan: I like–ever since I met you, I’m, I’m poppin’ that Bud Light. Malone: It’s GOOD. Ethan: It’s refreshing.. Malone: It’s refreshing. Ethan: It’s light…–This is just turning into a Bug Light ad. Malone: *laughs* Ethan: They’re not paying us–fuck this shit. It’s all right, it’s alright. Pay me, and then it’ll be great. Malone: *laughs* I, I–I think it’s great. But, not THAT great. *wink wink* Ethan: Yeah I COULD think it’s better…if you catch my drift, Bud Light Execs. Malone: *laughs* It could, it could be better. Ethan: Uhmm.. SO, after that went HUGE, you–like, what happened? How did th- how did you go from like BOOM! millions of views on YT, the song’s POPPIN, White Iversion.. Malone: yeah Ethan: ..To where you are now? Like– How’d that happen? Malone: *cracks open can* Just kept doing shows. Did a lot of free shows. Ethan: People started reaching out to you. Malone: Yeah, yeah. Did a lot of free shows. Um.. Did a lot of just, marketing, running around, getting my face out there, interviews–all that stuff. And, You know, everything went great, you know. Ethan: That’s sick. Malone: Guess I’m super handsome and, and Ethan: they just loved your face. Malone: and Likeable And they just said, “Wow, we’re gonna make this guy a star..” Hila: *laughs* Ethan: Uhmm, And NOW, you, you just released you first album not that long ago. Malone: In December. Yeah. Ethan: Which was a hit, I loved that album. Malone: well thank you. Ethan: If you guys don’t know that, check it out. Hila: We’d listen to it all that time BTW. Malone: Do you guys still listen to it? Both: Yeah. Ethan: I Slam Hila: We DO. Malone: You Slam? Hila: Our, our favourite one right now is ‘Up There’. Ethan: I told you that. Malone: really? Hila: Yeah. Malone: Ph-Shoutout to Pharrell. Pharrell’s a killer. Ethan: Dewd, that song is INSANE. Hila: That song is so nice. Malone: Thank You. Ethan: HAHA Malone: Thank you guys. Hila: It’s like CHILL. Malone: Did you listen to that off the edibles last night? Ethan: No. Straight to bed. Hila: N-no. I wasn’t– Malone: *laughs* Ethan: Hila tripping by herself. Hila: I wasn’t listening to anything. Ethan: WAIT, we DID listen to it on the ride home. Hila: We did on the way back. Malone: Wow Ethan: yeah Malone: you know–wow, you guys are great. Ethan: ‘I want go up there..’ na na nana– yeah, you know, it’s your song. Malone: I know that song. Ethan: Uhm, that’s crazy, mayn. It’s a real Cinderella story. Malone: IT IS! It’s, it’s really the cheesy, corniest, like– ‘Made It’ story. Ethan: It’s so sick , cause it’s like the American Dream Malone: Right. Hila: Yeah. Ethan: –Is alive and well, in you. Malone: I hope so. Ethan: It IS! And it–I feel like alot of people were kind of rooting against you. Malone: Right. Yeah. Ethan: Cause, they’re like, ‘who’s this, white boy?’ right? Who’s this white kid tryna come in– Malone: Just came in rand– Ethan: CULTURE–CULTURE VULTURE Malone: Yeah. It’s wild, it’s wild. Everybody, yeah, just everybody hated me. Ethan: Everyone wanted to write you off as like a ‘one-hit wonder.’ Malone: Exactly. But now, I’m a two-hit wonder. Ethan: Congratulations. Hila *laughs* Malone: Yeah so, so yeah, exactly. So now, I can say, yeah exactly. Ethan: ‘Imma two-hit wonder, BITCH!’ I’ll always have that second line. Malone: Exactly, exactly. *laughs* Ethan: No, but the truth is, if you could get that second hit… Malone: Yeah. Ethan: Then you’re set for lyfe. Malone: I think–I think so too. And I love it when people say, you know, This guy’s a one-hit wonder, but I say, I have one more hit than you do. Both: *laughs* Ethan: Getting a hit ain’t easy. Malone: It’s not. It’s not easy. Ethan: I still don’t have a hit. Malone: I think you could though. Ethan: ‘So Floo like Antoonio’ Malone: I think we-I think that one’s coming on the way. Hila: Can we talk about the mariachi um, cover? Malone: It was awesome. Hila: It was so awesome. Ethan: What’s the story behind that? Hila: Should I like, play it? Ethan: Yeah, let’s watch that first. So– You guys, I don’t know saw this, but on Twitter–I don’t, I’d never seen a tweet honestly with that many retweets. It had like 300,000 likes, 200,000 RTS. Malone: It’s WILD. Ethan: I was like, WOoW! Malone: I’d never seen, never seen that either. Hila: Jason, can you fix the wide shot? Malone: heh, Twither. Post Malone…’Wither.’ Hila: *laughs* That’s when I type. Malone: Still, you guys are still high–I love that. Ethan: Yeah, we’re fucked. We’re–I told you, dewd. I just wanna let everyone know. Malone: I don’t know what you guys might find. There’s maybe a lot. Hila: No, I trying to find the, mariachi thing. Malone: That’s Emmitt Smith and his family listening to my song, which is awesome. Ethan: We could just watch all this shit on your feed, man. Hila: Here it is. Malone: Yeah, my feed is incredible. How many, how many–go down to the tweets. Ethan: Let’s see how many, how many retweets you got. Wooaahh! Malone: It’s WILD. Ethan: NO! Malone: it’s wild Ethan: Dude, Trump doesn’t even get like, who gets that many– Malone: I don’t ever know who this guy is though. Ethan: Just some random guy. Malone: How many followers does he..? Ethan: No, I checked when it broke. He had like 300, like he was just some guy on Twitter. Hila: If you can see, it’s got 500,000 likes and 300,000 retweets. Malone: Crazy. Ethan: It cannot be played. Hila: Oh wow. why? Malone: *scratching neckbeard ASMR* Hila: Hm Ethan: Try again?.. Malone: Shoutout to Joonka-John. Joonka– Ethan: SHOUTOUT Malone: Joonka-J-John Ethan: Joojakon Malone: Joonka-J Joonka-J-John?.. Ethan: Hmm Come on. Malone: I was hammered in Maimi and, and it was so much fun. Ethan: So what’s this story behind this video? Maybe just Yout–Go to YouTube and type ‘Post Malone mariachi’ Malone: Uhhm, so Brian, Rich Chigga, from umm Indonesia. Ethan: Yeah. Malone: We went to his show yesterday. Ethan: Yeah, he’s awesome. Malone: Killer. Super Dope. Ethan: He is so good. He’s amazing. Malone: Um, yeah, he’s just, he came and he said ‘Hey, I gotta surprise for you’ and I’m like, okay, what–what’d he get, what’s he’d get? And then um, this mariachi band comes over and starts singing my song and I was already hammered so I was j– Ethan: What a G! Malone: It was, it was killer. It was awesome. Shoutout to Brian! Ethan: That is some badass shit! Ethan: Didn’t he like postmate the mariachi band or something? Malone: Yeah. yeah. Ethan: OK, so Rich Chigga Did I say his name right? Malone: Yeah Ethan: He POSTMATED a mariachi band. Malone: Yeah. Ethan: How do you even do that? Malone: I don’t know dewd, everything is– Ethan: SOMEONE just figured out how to book a mariachi band! Malone: Bo–*laughs* Exact– Book me a mariachi band. Ethan: They got like, straight-up managers on postmates. Malone *laughs* Shit’s crazy Ethan: Alright so here’s the video Hila: Should I play it? Ethan: Yeah Ethan: Is it good? Hila: Do you wanna zoom in on it? Offscreen BTS guy: Play it? Ethan: We KOSH? Can you fullscreen it Hila? Hila: Oh Ethan: This is insane. I notice there’s a nice angelic GLOW as well. Malone: WOW Dude, there’s glow– Ethan: It’s that SHIRT. I may have some aura. Ethan: Is that the same shirt? Malone: yea–no. No, it’s not. Ethan: So it’s you! Malone: It IS me, yeah. Me in a white shirt. Ethan: Luv those shorts bro. Malone: Thank you. *laughs* Go short or go home BOI. Ethan: That’s right. Ethan: This is insane. Ethan: So is this taking place backstage somewhere? Malone: Yeah, this is right in front of my umm trailer. Ethan: Hmm Malone: They gave me two trailers cuz I’m so famous. Ethan: Two? Malone: So famous.. Ethan: What did you do with the second one? Malone: Nothing. I THREW UP in one so we had to move to the other one. It was awesome. *laughs* Malone: Exactly, how convenient. It was a really, it was a really fun time–the whole time. Ethan: How’s the sound–it is working? Hila: Uhm, the sound is working. The– Someone said something about how–only right channel..? Ethan: Right channel? Does that makes sense, Alex? Alex(offscreen): Yeah, it does actually. You mean– Alex: Instead of saving– Ethan: Just this video though, not the whole thing Hila: No, no, no. Alex: Just, just the video. Ethan: OK Malone: Ayy Ethan: Whose hand is that? Malone: I think it was First. My DJ. Have you met First? Ethan: I don’t know if I met him officially. I’ve seen him at your show. Malone: A real cool guy. REAL cool kat. Ethan: All these people are cool. Malone: I like ’em. Yeah. Good guys. Ethan: So now– Ethan: *sings along* Congratulatiiiooonss When you have a mariachi band postmated over to sing you a song–That’s a hit. Malone: It’s true. Hila: yeah. Ethan: That’s a hit. Malone: It’s true. This one line that resonates with me so much I love, is ‘work so hard forgot how to vacation’.. Malone: Great line. I know you guys know about that, that jaunt. *laughs* Ethan: You mic is playing double. Malone: Is it? Hila: Oh Ethan: Or was for a second. Hila: Really? Ethan: But I think it’s fixed. It is good? (to cameraguy) Malone: I had some slapback? I should’ve done some John Lennon. Ethan: I love that line. Malone: Well thank u. Ethan: And I feel like you’re–and I feel like you’re busy all the time. Malone: I AM. I mean, y’all are too. Y’all killing it. Hila: You’re so busy though like, we can hang out one day with you and then the next day I see you in New Zealand or smthng. Ethan & Malone: Yeah. Malone: It’s crazy. I hate it. Ah-no, I don’t hate it–I hate traveling. Hila: Traveling, yeah. Malone: I hate-I hate–I love.. They always say it’s about the journey–not the destination. But it’s always the destination. Ethan: When you’re actually traveling for the show. Malone: Exactly. Exactly. Ethan: It’s about the show, yeah. Malone: You didn’t think that fucking Frodo and Samwise was like ‘hell yeah, this is fucking sick!’ Ethan: If they had the option, they’d just drop that ring right off and call it a day. Malone: Exactly. Ethan: yeah. Malone: Wha–Here’s my question: Why were those FUCKING BIRDS not around whenever they had to get there? Ethan: Hhhh, yeah. Where the–Dude, those eagles, they hooked up Gandalf, They went and fucking off for like…THREE FULL MOVIES. Malone: *laughs* Right. Ethan: You guys could’ve cut to the chase, dewd. Malone: Literally, put these hobbits on your back Take ’em to the fires of Mount Doom.. Ethan: *snickers* DROP IT OFF. Malone: Drop it off. Ethan: Come back, and you’re be back for supper. Malone: And come back..just in time for SECOND supper. Ethan: Second supper. We didn’t hold up for the first one. You know how Hobbits are. Malone: Exactly. Ethan: Um… so like, Yeah, I mean I’ve hung out with you a lot. Malone: Mhmm Ethan: You’re one of my good dawgs. Malone and Hila: *chuckle* Ethan: And uhh..You have like a massive posse too. I’m surprised you came here by yourself today. But you usually roll with like, a lot of people. How was that–always being surrounded by people? Malone: You know, it’s really stressful cuz we can never find an Uber big enough for all of us. Hila: *laughs* Malone: And I’m the only that actually has like, MOTIVE with what I do. I’m very uhh GOAL-DRIVEN Ethan: Hmm Malone: So I say ‘we need to get here,’ and I’m like ‘okay, I’m ready to go right now.’ And everybody’s just sitting there fucking around. Ethan: Mmmm Malone: And it REALLY stresses me out. And by the time we get there I’m really stressed out. But then, once we’re there, I’m good. Ethan: You gotta have someone to crack the whip for you so you don’t have to be the asshole and be like, ‘GUYS! Get ready!’ You need like a–You need a slavedriver. Hila: You do have, right? Malone: I need like, I need like a fucking guy…. that has a LOUD voice. Hila: Like me? Malone: Yeah, Hila. You’re–*laughs* okay. Jesus Crhist. Hila: Can I apply? *laughs* Ethan: Hila would–Dude, Hila would be an Insane whip. Hila: *laughs* Ethan: She whips my ass, I’m wearing Vans. Malone: (in quiet voice) can you, can you–can you pls, get into the (inaudible) Hila: *laughs* Malone: okay? Ethan: Hila has the greatest, the greatest low voice ever. Malone: You should read audiobooks. Hila: Really? Malone: Yea. Hila: With my accent? Malone: That’ll be killer. Hila: *laughs* Malone: That’ll be killer. Ethan: I’m thinking about writing a book about weightloss… Malone: *laughs* You should. Ethan: ‘How to NOT be Fat’ Malone: FUPA… Ethan: FUPA Reduction. Malone: Fupa Reduction. Ethan: In 3 Easy Steps. Malone: (laughtalk) In three easy ste– Ethan: I did lose 15 lbs in the past. Malone: I know. You look great! Ethan: But I have a lot of work to do; there’s still plenty of fupa left over. I feel like I can’t actually wri–I have SERIOUS things to say about weightloss. But I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to write a book about weightloss while I’m still on the board of being morbidly obese. Malone: WRITE the BOOK, AS you’re doing the weighloss. Hila: That’s true. Ethan: That’s a great idea. Malone: I don’t think anybody has ever done that. Ethan: That’s a really good concept. Malone: Like–like the, like the FUPA DIARIES. Ethan: THE FUPA DIARIES! Malone: Exactly. Ethan: It’s like Anne Frank, except Malone: –FUPA. Ethan: The only thing-it’s–We’re both Jews. Malone: It’s actually not the same–It’s not the same AT ALL. Ethan: It’s completely different. Ethan: It’s just like Anne Frank. Hila: *laughs* Ethan: Buy my book today. Hila: It’s a book. Ethan: It’s a book. Malone: It is a book. Yes. Ethan: Nah, Hila’s got me in the attic. She’s makes me be quiet. Sometimes… Malone: Just on the stair climber? Ethan: Yeah–she keeps.. Just like Anne Frank. I’m trying to make somet–just trying to make this work. Malone & Hila: *laughs* Malone: It’s a book. Ethan: It’s a book you guys. Malone: THE FUPA DIARIES. OUT SOON. PRE-ORDER NOW. Ethan: I’m wondering when I’m hanging out with you, and I see you’re hang–You always with like 10 people, and I’m wondering.. Are they friends? Do they all work for you? Who ARE they? Malone: Uhm, it depends. Umm.. Hila: It’s a mix? Malone: Dre works for me.. Ethan: It’s your manager, right? Malone: Yeah, my manager. Uhmm.. Hila: Alec Malone: Yeah, Alec is my right-hand man, helps me with my ah day-to-day *burps* type stuff. Ethan: Sorry Hila. Malone: Sorry Hila. Ethan: Apologies to Hila. Malone: Uhm. Hila: *laughs* Malone: Edon? is a producerl, First a DJ Then everybody else is just my–just my friend. Ashlyn’s there. Running around doing Ashlyn stuff. Ethan: *laughs* Yeah. It’s his girlfriend. Sweetest. Malone: It’s my gal-pal. Ethan: She’s great. Hila: Yeah. She is. Ethan: She’s awesome. Malone: I’m glad you guys liked her. Ethan: Yeah, she’s super noice. Uhmm Malone: Her and Hila–You guys should go and do some girl stuff. Hila: I know, I told her. We switched phones last night, so… Ethan: You guys switched phones?.. Malone: You have her phone?! Hila: OH, I mean Ethan: That’s some real–That’s a big step! Hila: PHONE NUMBERS. Malone: Ah, Okay, okay. Malone: You guys have a lot of trust already. I’m gonna repond the way you would respond– Hila: It’s a new challenge. You switch phones for a week. Malone: The phone switch challenge. Ethan: Austin’s like, ‘She deleted all this shit in there, right? All pictures.’ Hila: *laughs* Malone: Oh, there’s nothing bad in there. Not too bad. Ethan: I don’t want her to have Hila’s. Hila has some weird pics of me. Like FULLY nude. Hila: *laughs* I do not. Ethan: Just, not even sexual, just COMPLETELY NAKED. Malone: It’s for the FUPA DIARIES. Ethan: yeah. Hila: Yeah. Malone: It’s for SCIENCE. Ethan: Just, Dick out. Malone: Haha Ethan: Just asshole spread WIDE open. Malone: Damn Ethan: She makes me do it. Hila: Not really. Malone: Oh, she comes home on edibles and just like, ‘SPREAD ‘EM ETHAN!!!’ Hila: OHhh, my gawwwd. Ethan: Ha-hahaa Malone: It that how it happens? Ethan: I’m like, ‘Alright…’ Malone: It’s what I’d imagine. Ethan: ‘..Whatever it takes to make you happy..’ Malone: *laughs* Ethan: So what’s like, what would you say is like the WORST part about Fame?..–Cuz you’ve become pretty famous and pretty fast. Uhmm What-what are the pitfalls of that for you? Malone: I wanna say.. No-Now Hila’s perfectly blocked. Umm.. Hila: I’m blocked no matter what. Don’t ever worry about it. Ethan: Well it’s on you. It’s on the wide. Like, you switched to the wide. We could just enjoy.. Hila being covered by Austin’s mic. Say ‘Hi,’ Hila. Hila: Hi, Hila. Malone: *laughs* Ethan: Got EEM! Malone: C-CLASSIC! Ethan: got em! Malone: Classic! No, but ahm, you know it’s tough. It’s tough traveling. It’s a–It really takes a tear on ya. Wear. It doesn’t–Does, does that makes sense? Ethan: yeah. Malone: TOLL. It really takes a toll on you. Ethan: A tear, a toll. Hila: Yeah. I was thinking about you traveling a lot, cuz we just went to NY and then Sweden And that was like enough traveling– Malone: That flight to Sweden is BS, huh? Ethan: Have you–Do you, you’ve done it? Malone: Yeah. The flight to just Europe is shitty. Hila: Yeah. Ethan: It fucks you up cuz the time-zones switch. Malone: If you go–Go, go Polaris. Ethan: Is that the good airlines? Malone: No–that, that’s like the–I think, I dunno if it’s like Delta or JetBlue.. Hila: Hmm Malone: But, you get a bed, it’s Killer. Ethan: So we did business on JetBlue where we get to lay down. Malone: You got–So you got the full bed and everything? Ethan: Yeah. You can’t beat that. Malone: It’s nice. It’s PRETTY–That’s actually NICE. Hila: Mhmm. Malone: But whenever you get there, it fucking sucks cuz, like you said, the time difference is just crazy. Ethan: It fucks you up. Malone: The time difference in Australia is fucking nuts. Ethan: Oh, that place is like on the moon as far as I’m concerned. Malone: That place is like forbidden ground. Ethan:Seriously So you’d say like traveling. The trav–You do alot of traveling. Malone: Yeah. I’m about to–Tomorrow I go to, What’s today, the 19th? Tomorrow I go to– I do a show in Northern California. And then I fly to Vegas. Ethan: Hmm Malone: To do another show on the same day. Hila: Oh the same day?! Malone: And then I’m going to look at my house up in Northern Nevada, my apocalypse bunker. Ethan: Oh yeah, I wanna talk about that. Malone: Uhm, And Then I come back and maybe I get a lil break, hopefully. Hila: That’s crazy. Malone: It’s tough. Ethan: Let’s go. Yeah, the traveling I can only image. Like Hila said, we did it. And I was- I was Dead. Hila: Yeah. Ethan: When we came back from Sweden and NY–We were gone for like 2 wks And I just came back DEAD. Malone: Dead. Ethan: Yeah. Like–I was just soo Dead. Malone: Your fan meetup looked great. Was that in Sveden? Hila: Yeah Ethan: Yeah, that was in Sweden. Malone: Ja? Ethan: That was nuts! We had to–I don’t know if you guys all saw this. But we had a fan meetup in Sweden. We just tweeted it out the day before on socials; we didn’t really expect much. I was expected like a couple hundred people or smthng. Aaannd the– We just tweeted out the specific location and it was in the middle of the week at like 11:00. And.. I felt like Post Malone dude. Hila: aaHhmm Ethan: It was crazy. Malone: Noone would come see me. You guys are wayy cooler than me Uhm Ethan: That’s not true. Malone: Ethan-Ethan would come to my shows–Ethan and Hila would come to my shows and People would be like–I’ll be walking past and Ethan would be right there and he’s like ‘Yo, YOOO! YOOOOO!’ Ethan: That’s not true, dewd. Malone: And I’ll just be like, dude, Fuck. Hila: That’s not true. Ethan: That’s not true at all. Malone: I feel like the shitty member of a boy band. Ethan: Dude, I’m definitely following you and everyone c–I’m just like hide in your shadow cuz you’re hella tall. And just sneak behind you everywhere cuz everyone knows who you are. Hila: *laughs* Ethan: I’ll probably go to clubs and parties. Malone: We need just like a trenchcoat that hides you. Ethan: You CAN. You can get on my shoulders. Like a human– Malone: Ha, like the Little Rascals. Ethan: Yeah. Malone: ‘Hello, sirr.’ Ethan: Yeah. Malone: What did I say, the Human Rascals? Or the Little Rascals? Ethan: Yeaah, we gotchu. I was thinking uhh a TOTEM POLE. A human totem pole. Malone: That’s nice, I like that. Ethan: Uhm Malone: Hmhm Ethan: The fuck were we talking about? Hila: You wanna talk about your..apocalyp– Ethan: Oh, we were talking about the Sweden thing. Hila: Ohkay Ethan: SO Dude, there was like two–Like, we showed up And there was like a hundred people outside like an hour ahead of time. And we’re like ‘Okay, cool; It’s normal.’ Reasonable. And like the line KEPT growing. Hila: Yeah. Ethan: And it, like–We were there for 2-3 hrs and the line kept growing Like Longer and Longer around the building. I think it ended up being like, there was 2,000 people there. Malone: GOD DAMN. Hila: Heh Ethan: It was FUCKING MAD. And I think we only got to see like 200 of ’em. Malone: Did you shut down the city? Ethan: Kind of. Hila: Kind of. Ethan: People were spilling out into the street. Hila: Yeah, and the cars couldn’t dri–couldn’t go. Malone: Did they, did they like Swedish guys come and say ‘Nej!’ Ethan: No Hila: No. Ethan: No, they didn’t. Malone: ‘NEEJJJ!’ Ethan: It didn’t become a fire hazard sadly. I was hoping that we would shut the whole Stockholm down. Malone: You would’ve gotten arrested for like inciting a riot or smthng. Ethan: That would’ve been sicck. That would’ve been a great story. Malone: It would give you some edge. Ethan: Some streak– Malone: Yeah, Like some of them credentials that you always wanted. Ethan: I need more cred–crede-dentials. Malone: CRED-DE–DE-DENTIALS! Ethan: What the Fuck! Ethan: Ha-ha! Malone: What did you say earlier in Irish..? Ethan: Um, so, We only got to see like 200 people and I felt bad at the end of it. I wanted–I thought we could just go walk outside and like shake people’s hand and say ‘What Up?!’ and take pictures. Cuz they were waiting. It was super cold for like 3 hrs. *burps* Sry Hila. Malone: Sorry Hila. Ethan: Apologies. Hila: I appreciate..All the apologies. Malone: When are you gonna let one rip? Hila: What? Malone: When are you gonna let one rip? Hila: I don’t do that. Malone: You don’t burp? Ethan: You don’t do that!?? Malone: You don’t burp?! Ethan: Wait–I don’t think I’ve ever heard you burp. Malone: Really?! Ethan: I’ve definitely heard you fart. Hila: *laughs* Ethan: Hila tries to act like she doesn’t fart but sometimes we’d be chillin’ and you just– It comes out and it’s pretty loud. And I’m like ‘Oh, Damn, gurl!’ Malone: I always get blamed. Hila: Can we NOT talk about farts..? Ethan: ‘I want a DIVORCE, baby!’ Hila *laughs* Malone: You should just knuckle-bump. Boom. Got ‘EEM. Ethan: Pretty stinky too. Like, surprise me. Hila: Can we MOOVE ON?.. Ethan: I was like, HOLYSHIT like I wouldn’t expect these deadly little fuckin Blast Bombs out of Hila’s ass. Malone: *laughs* Ethan: She’s a sweet girl. Hila: He’s making it up. Ethan: I AM NOT making this up! You CANNOT DENY this! You cannot lock me away in the attic like Anne Frank! Hila: *laughs* Ethan: anyway. Hila: Stop making it UP! Ethan: So, so anyway.. Uhm We go outside at the meetup to say WHADDUP… And Hila Farts! Malone: *laughs* I thought–That’s how she’s gonna get everybody to go– That’s how she’s gonna get everybody to go get into the Ubers. Ethan: We’re planning a liveshow. I wanna have a segment where Hila farts into the mic. Malone: *laughs* There’s a song! Hila: NO, this is not–This is not becoming a thing. Malone: HA-Ha-HA! Ethan: Hila farting name incoming. Malone: *LAUGHS* Ethan: You did this. Malone: Watch out, Haters! Watch out, haters. But you never burped?! That’s crazy. Ethan:Well, Sh-Keep–Well drink more, I want a burp outta you today. That’s the goal. That’s the objective. Malone: We need one burp. So anyway, we walk out front. And like, we got– I was just, I was seriously like BLOWN BACK! Malone:Flabbergasted. Ethan: There was It was just a sea of people. I couldn’t even walk out. And I was like taking pictures and shaking people’s hands and we had security there, and they were like ‘Get inside, it’s not safe!’ Cuz people, people were throwing Pepsi cans at us. Malone: Really?!! Fully loaded? Ethan: Pepsi Max yeah. Hila: Yeah. Malone: DAMN. Ethan: And then we went out back, to try to escape to a taxi. And then everyone swarmed back there. Malone: Could you imagine, Death By Pepsi Can? What if you just got stoned by PEPsi cans? Ethan: It would be a beautiful death. Peps– Malone: It would be very poetic. Ethan: The meetup was being filmed so I’m sure Pepsi would end up using that in a commercial. Malone: And then you come in the new Pepsi ad. Hila: *laughs* Ethan: What was their– Malone: Red killer time. Malone: Drink Pepsi. Ethan: What was their thing?–Their slogan? In that shitty– Hila: Live for now? Ethan: L-Live for now. Me, slow-mo, hitting in the face to death by a Pepsi. Malone: But, then, you’re on the ground, bleeding out and you–You gotta take one more sip before you go. Ethan: [dreamily] My only regret was not being able to drink more Pepsi. Malone: *laughs* Should’ve drank ’em all. Ethan: Should’ve drank more Pepsi. Anyway, let’s watch that video. Malone: Which one? Ethan: The one–That classic one of you. Malone: OH, the classic one. Ethan: You have an ash, right here? Right there. Malone: Now we got two. Ethan: So now I wanna show you guys Pre-Malone. There’s Post Malone, which is where you are now. And, this is Pre-Malone. Malone: SO let me give a little insight before you all think I’m a fuckin weirdo. Ha-Ohkay? So, this is–this is my alter ego, Leon DeChino. He’s big in Brazil. Ethan: Of course. Malone: He’s a big super–international superstar. Doesn’t really give a fuck about anything. Me and my friend Jason made this for art class. Ethan:That’s how we got started. Malone: Really?! Ethan: Yeah. Hila Yeah. Malone: Yeah. So, me and..Jason’s my best friend. Ethan: Shoutout. Malone: He–He moved me out here. He let me live in his closet. Ethan: WOW! Shoutout to Jason! Malone: Killer. So if there was no Jason… Ethan: Wait–Did I meet him yesterday? Malone: I think you did. NO–I Don’t think you did. Ethan: Okay. I’d love to meet Jason. Malone: Yeah, He’s–He’s moving out here. He–Cuz he moved out here , then he moved to Seattle. Now he’s out here. Ethan: Hmm What was he–Was he trying to do music in Seattle? Malone: Well, Nah. He makes gaming videos. Or he MADE gaming videos. Ethan: Oh, god bless him. Malone: Yeah. And now he’s–He’s producing and he has gotten really fucking..good. So I’m gonna get him on the album. Ethan: Oh yeah. Malone: Yeah, Killer. Ethan: Keep it in the family. Malone: Super Kill. Yeah mayn. It’s important. Ethan: Alright, let’s watch this. Malone: Roll, Roll the clip. Hila: Alright, you wanna…yea. Ethan: Did you ever watch Tim and Eric? Cuz this is very like.. Malone: Yeah, this is very Tim and Eric–Yeah, very inspired. Ethan: It’s funny. I think we must’ve started around the same time. Cuz I was doing like, the same kind of shit Malone:Right. Ethan: When we started. Malone: This funky shit. I made this beat too, and I wrote all the lyrics. Ethan: I can’t believe–Look at your cute little twink ass. Hila: Can we hear it okay? (In Background): Everyone in the world can. Malone: EVERYONE in the whole fuckin world can hear it, okay? Ethan: Let it be known. What does your shirt say? Sad Boy. Malone: Bad Boy. Ethan: OH, Bad Boi. Malone: yeah, come on. I’m not sad, I’m bad. Ethan: yeah, ok. Ethan: Pretty dope editing. Malone: I know. It’s– Ethan: Trails. Malone: It’s Great. Ethan: Those trails are sick. Malone: You gotta wait for the explosions. Ethan: Did you edit this? Malone: What–No, Jason did. I have NO–I Have editing skills, but I can’t like.. Do this. This is when I had my fucking bun to the back. Tie my bone–Tie my bun to the back, like a real one. Ethan: Those shorts are insane, bro. Malone: Bro, I’m–I’m bringing these back. He’s getting a feature on my album. Ethan: You are a twink ass motherfucker. And if I–And if I, I’ll jump fence for that. Malone: Ha-ha-ha. Ethan: Bad Boy. 😉 Malone: That’s funny cause my ??? did jump a fence to sign me. Ethan: What..? Malone: He–The guy who signed my to the label had to jump like a fence to get into the show and that’s how he signed me. Ethan: He LITERALLY jumped a fence. Malone: So it’s funny that you said that. Ethan: I’m just talking about gay. Malone: Just–*laughs* Just talking about gay. Ethan: Like I’m go from straight to gay. ..But I’ll sign you too. Malone: Oh, it was a metaphor. Ethan: Yea it was a metaph– Malone: Oh, okay. I thought it was a literal uhh Ethan: I’ll just any fence. Malone: That’s Jason. Did you meet him? Ethan: Wait, what the hell, he looked like the dude from Wonder Years. You know what I’m talking about? (Cameraman): Fred Savage. Ethan:Yeah, he looks like– In unison: Fred Savage. Ethan: Oh damn. Shit is sexual. Maloen: But we–We crushed hella poon. Hila: *laughs* Ethan: I can see that. Malone: *laughs* Ethan: This is some good shit, like honestly, back then, this comedy was on point. Malone: YEAH. This was good. This is a nice meme, early meme dewd. Ethan: Most definitely. It’s a quality meme. Ethan: *snapping to the godly masterpiece* Malone: [singing along] But you couldn’t take it anymore. Why don’t you love me? why don’t you love me? This is a great song too. If this had like real..–Imma, I might give this to like Ethan: Bring it back. Malone: To like Breezy or something, you know. Something, something crazy. Ethan: The editing’s dope. Malone: Don’t worry about it. Ethan: Ha-ah. Malone: Listen to this breakdown. This breakdown is killer right now. Ethan: Pretty savage on the mic. Malone: *laughs* KILLER. Ethan: So those of you guys who are listening and can’t watch, you’ve got Aus–young Austin in like super– Malone: Look at the fuckin’ explosions! Ethan: –super small shorts and tights.. I don’t even know, looking like Richard Simmons. Malone: yeah, I’ll take it. Just don’t call it, I wanna say it. Don’t go to a lot more. No but, I’m telling you–What? It’s 2k17. Short shorts. Hot. Fresh. Ethan: It’s coming back. I’ve seen you in that mariachi one. Malone: yeah. I just wear, I just love pushing the boundary– *rips a fat one* Ethan: Sry. Malone: Sorry Hila. Ethan: Hila, you OK? Hila: I’m okay. Malone: I just love pushing the boundary. Nice shot. Ha-ha! I mean, you get the gist. Ethan: yeah. You– Hila: Alright. Ethan: You guys can watch it later. Malone: Yeah. You guys can–You guys can watch it at night, whatever you gotta do. Ethan: Soh– Malone: Whatever gets you through the night. Hila: If you wanna find it, it’s called ‘Why Don’t You Love Me?’ Malone: That’s a nice vid right there of me too. Damn, that has a million views right now?! Ethan: Yeah, I’ve seen that one too–The Bob Dylan Don’t Think Twice– So that was before White Iversion. Malone: Yeah. This is–So this is umm I used to be so cool. Ethan: You muted it, Hila. Hila: I muted it while you talk. Ethan: Oh okay. Hila: I’ll put it on– Malone: Yeah, but this is–this was when I was doing like those shows I was talking about. This is–I was producing Ethan: Hmm Shows, metal, all that shit. Ethan: Hmm Um.. I didn’t know what the fuck I was going to do, so I just put all the fucking shit that I could and you know, something stuck, you know. Ethan: That’s what you gotta do. Malone: Well, you know everything. It just comes from the love of fucking music. And just keep on..Rockin’ and trying no matter what. You get knocked down, keep on fucking rocking. Ethan: Was this–Was-This video was a kind of hit for you at the time, right? Malone: UHM, I think it had like 300 views. Ethan: Well, I though it was like a thing. Cuz I’ve seen people talk about it. Hila: NOW it is. Malone: Yeah, they found it and then they were like, ‘Wow, this–This guy might actually be kind of talented’ Ethan: Ok. Hila: Heh. Malone: Kind of. Ethan: The setting’s dope. Look at all the guitars around you. Malone: Yeah, so that’s where we used to jam. Like, that’s where my band used to rehearse and shit. And I’m a big Bob Dylan fan. I got Bob Dylan tatted. Ethan: Oh, let me s–Dude, you tattoos are INSANE. I wish I could show them. Your artists are, are like next-level. Malone: Yeah, Killer. Ethan: So good. Malone: You said you and Hila are gonna get tattoos in my house. Ethan: WOOOO! Ethan: Well, so Kyle, right? Malone: yeah. Kyle or Ricky. Ethan: BTW, you–So Austin Post has–You LIVE with this, Like he’s always with you, your tattoo guy, Kyle. Malone: Yeah, I keep him with me. I-I uh, so one–Kyle lives in Philly. Ricky lives in Dallas. And I just fly ’em out like almost weekly and we just tatted in the leg or whatever. Ethan: Okay, so he’s not–Cuz he’s– Hila: They’re here almost every wknd. Ethan: Yeah, he’s always there. Malone: *shrugs shoulders* I like to get tats. I love ’em. I love ’em to death. Ethan:So you’re on like a crazy tattoo.. Malone: Adventure. Ethan: Run. Malone: Yeah. Ethan: I was talking to you about this yesterday. You plan on covering you whole body, right? Malone:yeah. Ethan: And you had mentioned covering your face. Malone: yeah, I’m going to do my face. I wouldn’t say COVERING. Ethan: But Some. Malone: I mean, I don’t have really much going on here, so it’s not like really striking, So I might get–I figured like ‘why not?’ Tattoos make you look cool. Ethan: Spice it up. Malone: Yeah, spice it up. Ethan: Spice the canvas up. Malone: I’m just a normal-looking guy, so I figured Ethan: What is it that you love about tattoos? Cuz I’m NOT a tattoo guy. I think they’re dope, but I don’t– Malone: Right. Ethan: It doesn’t, I never had anything in my brain where I was like, ‘Hey, I want tattoos.’ Malone: So it’s like, Uhm I guess here’s a way to look at it. You know–You You play.. You said you were a real wild guy. Ethan: yeah. Malone: So image you capped out, right? You capped out on level 70 or whatevr. Ethan: Level 70, you got all the– Malone: You got all the Armor. You can never get any new armor. And then you–you quit playing. Ethan: Yeah. Malone: So I figured, I’m–I already have a blank canvas and I feel like I could develop myself further so the adventure continues. Ethan: WOW Malone: So I surpassed the cap and leveled myself up and just kept on.. Getting INKED UP. Ethan: So you look at tattoos as like, almost self-improvement. Malone: Almost–Almost as like keepin’ it interesting. Ethan: Hm Malone: But I like the way it looks too, cuz I’m a little chunker. SOo, you know I feel like tattoos really suit me out. Like I got fat wrists and my wrist doesn’t even look that fat right now. Hila: That’s interesting. Ethan: That IS interesting. Hila: I didn’t know that was a technique. Malone: And plus you get to get dope–super dope shit on you. Like, I have a tat of myself on a horse, like.. Ethan: That is sick. Malone: Killar. Ethan: So do you–Did you always liked tattoos growing up? Malone: Yeah, I’ve always want3d tats. But I was too fucking scared. Ethan: Hm Malone: My first tattoo was this Playboy one I got like–like a year ago. Ethan: Hmm Hila: Really? Malone: yeah. A year ago and then– Hila: So up until a year ago you had no tattoos? Malone: I didn’t have anything. Like you could see shit from fucking last year where I had no tattoos. Ethan: Crazy. Hila: That’s crazy. Malone: Yeah, it’s crazy. I was in the middle of working on an album when I got this. Hila: Wow. Ethan:And then it was just non-stop. Malone: I finally–Yeah, exactly. Ethan: So like an addictive thing? Cuz–Malone: Yeah. Cuz I–I find that people who get tattoos are generally– *burps* Sry Hila. I’m burping. Malone: Sorry Hila. Ethan: I find that people who get tattoos get , go on like a kick Malone: Right. Ethan: Seems like addictive in some way. Malone: Yeah, it IS. Ethan: What’s that? Malone: Idk, a release of endorphins..Hila: Hmhm Malone: Or..you know, testosterone, Or something weird, strange. Ethan: Right. Malone: It’s like whenever you feel–The pain is nice. It’s nice whenever it’s done. I think the feeling of having something like, working on something and finally completed it. Ethan: Hmm Malone: I think that’s really what people get addicted to. Ethan: Interesting. Hila: I think it looks cool, but if I like, if I was gonna make one on myself –I don’t know how do you decide on what you want. Ethan: Yeah, that’s tough. Malone: Not really. Ethan: You just, whatever.. Malone: Everybody says like–All the spur-of-the-moment shit that I’ve like, that I’ve done Like I don’t regret at all (yet). I mean, I tattooed my palms and I– One faded cuz I fapped way too much. Ethan: That’s interesting! You can just fap a tattoo away. Malone: Yeah, you could just fap– Ethan: Who needs laser removal? Malone: Exactly. Ethan: Just masturbate a lot. Malone:Exactly, exactly. Exactly. Ethan: Wow. Malone: Yeah, I don’t, I don’t regret it. I fucking– I have a fucking Kagome from Inuyasha on my leg. I don’t regret that yet either. Umm, I’m just kickin. I got Sauron right here, but he’s not done yet. He’s gonna be sick whenever he’s done. Ethan: That’s sick. I wonder–do you think if I ever get a tattoo that I’d get addicted, Hila? And go like, put a skull over my face. Malone: He would be dope. He would be dope with a tat like a– Ethan: You think so? Malone: –Like a sleave. I think he’d be sick with a sleave. Ethan: What should I put? Malone: It would take the meme away though. Ethan:Yeah. Malone: If you– Hila: It’s a new meme. Ethan: Cause right now I’m like that white dad, gooey, fupa boi. I don’t know if the tattoo thing meshes well with that identity. HIla: It would be interesting. Malone: Dads with tats is whole thing though. Like that’s a cool– Ethan: Dad’s with Tats? Malone: Yeah. Ethan: Hila’s like ‘That’s interesting!’ A lil dangerous, lil weird. Malone: Yeah, a little spicy. Ethan: A little bad boi. Malone: ..Not–Not scared to burp in front of a lady. Ethan: That’s right. Malone: Edgy. Hila: I said that if we do a tattoo, we should both make–do teddy bears on us. Ethan: I’m down to get a teddy bear. Malone: I’ll do one too. Fuck it. Ethan: That’s pretty hard. Hila: *laughs* Ethan:Where do you wanna get it? Hila: Uhhh.. Ethan: You want to hide it, or do you want to show it? Hila: I gotta think about it. Ethna: I like a teddy bear though. Hila has this drawing of a teddy bear that’s really dope. Malone: I’d get it like, right underneath my eye. Hila: Like where the tear.. Malone: Yeah, where the tear should be. Ethan: The Teddy Tear Drop. Malone: Teddy Tear Drop. Ethan: Alright, let’s do ah, let’s do a quick–We’ll take a break for like 5 min. I’m gonna go to the bathroom. ..And then we’ll be right back Ethan: Look who got fuckin hereee! Malone: WO WO WO! WOWOWO! Malone and Ethan in unison: WO WO WO WO WO! Aye Aye Aye Aye! Ethan: We’re here with FIlthyFrank, AKA ya boi Giorgio Armani. And he played a set–he, he’s on a music kick. Launching his music career. Malone: Killah Ethan: We went to his show, we missed it. But we were there. Malone: We were there in spirit. Joji: That’s all that matters. Hila: Yeah. Joji: You guys were Outside. Hila: Yeah, we were outside! Malone: YEAH! Ethan: It’s true! Malone: And I called you, and I called you and you sounded like you just got offstage. Joji: I did actually. Malone: He’s like *heavy breathing* Joji: That–That lady was throwing shit at the front. Malone: OH, she’s the fucking worst! Joji: I was like’ You–You’re really not gonna let like Ethan and Hila and Post?! That shit is crazy. Ethan: Besides that, we’re your friend. We’re like friends with the performer. Joji: You’re–You’re not. You’re– Ethan: It like your mom shows up or some shit and she’s like, ‘BITCH, I’ll–Back OFF!’ Hila: *laughs* Ethan: Anyway Well yeah–and the parking there was unbelievable! Joji: Ah YEAH. Ethan: LA is a nightmare. Malone: We parked in somebody’s driveway. Joji: Really? Malone: No. Ethan: You could’ve though. Joji: I would have believed you. Ethan: Yeah. Malone: Literally knocked on the–‘Hey, can we park here just for a lil?’ –I wonder if that would work! Joji: Probably. Malone: That might work! Like–‘Hey, can we–Are you going anywhere? Can we just park here for like an hour..?’ Ethan: You should b–You’re Probably better off not even asking. Also if it’s a Rolls Royce, people are like ‘Ohokay.’ Malone: Yeah, I wouldn’t be– Etrhan: ‘Okay.’ Malone: Come on, Lemme just, give me, lemme, lemme park. Ethan: Alright, let’s get back on the record. Malone: Back on– Ethan: Soooo Uh, Welcome back. We are back from the break, here with Post Malone, Hila Klieners–What up Hila Klieners? And we have– Hila: Whaddup Hila Klieners?!!.. Ethan: He’s not saying much, but we have FilthyFrank, George on the couch, so if you hear a disembodied voice, that’s who you’re listening to. Malone: That’s not–That’s not ANYBODY. It is an EVP. Electronic Voice Phenomenon. Ethan: It’s a Hologram, like Tupac. Malone: And. *laughs* Joji: (barely discernible) I am a hologram. Hila: *laughs* Ethan: So I have–You’re fascinated by something. Is this camera on? Cuz the lights are on. Oh–the cam doesn’t show it, but we’re all good, right? We’re all rolling? K. Cut all that. Malone: Stealth mode. So, you’re fascinated by something that I find absolutely fascinating. Malone: Mhmm Austin is– obs–correct me if I’m wrong–But you seem to be obsessed with like apocalypse shelters. Malone: Yeah. Ethan: Or the apocalypse in general. Malone: yeah Ethan: Like guns and stuff like this. Malone: yeah. Ethan: Defending your territory. Malone: Yeah. Ethan: Tell me about– Malone: Got that Light? Ethan: Tell me about like, Uhh, what’s up with that, right? hah Am I right? Malone & Hila: *laughs* Malone: Yeah, soo.. Am I–Am I right tho? Yeah man, um I just, you know, you walk outside and you feel shitty. You feel real anxious. Ethan: Hmm And it’s just like shits–sh–It FEELS like impending doom. Ethan: Ahhh Malone: And I’m not crazy; people who know me know that I’m not crazy. Ethan: No, you not crazy. Malone: I’m a little cray–cray. But I’m– Ethan: Look, look. Have one–The desire for an apocalypse shelter–it’s seems like everyday is not that crazy of an idea. Malone: Right. Ethan: If you can afford it. Malone: Right. So I’m just buying a place out in the sticks. I’m building underground. Imma build a beautiful– It’s gonna be– It’s gonna be fun until the world ends, but whenever the world ends, it’s gonna be functional. Ethan: You’ll be alive. Malone: Put the fun in FUNctional. I’ll be alive. Ethan: So how do you decide where you put your apocalypse bunker? Malone: So I looked at a nuclear map. I looked at a bunch of nuclear maps. So there’s like a 150 warhead scenarios and 2000 warhead scenarios. And– Ethan: What does that mean? Malone: So like–if, if they launch 150 nukes, or if they launch 2,000 nukes. Ethan: So, it’s pretty much like, like the whole country gets nuked versus just the major cities. Malone: *stammers* mm almo–It’s hard to find a spot where there’s not– Ethan: And 2,000, that’s like– Malone: But I’ve found a spot where.. Uhmm There’s no nukes there and no fallout winds or anything so. Ethan: OHHHHHHhhh So, where is that? Malone: It is in Northern Nevada. Ethan: So this is–You’re planning for a real fallout. Malone: I mean, whatever. Whatever the fuck happens. Ethan: Zombies, fallout.. Malone: Whether it’s our own gov’t or whether it’s another gov’t. Ethan: What do you think is the most likely scenario for you to go to your fallout shelter? Yeah, it’s either–That’s just–That’s fucking up. Something, something crazy. Something– Ethan:What do you see? Is it something like uh Russi–Like an attack from another country..or? Malone: I mean I feel like that’s, I mean I feel like that’s imminent, you know. N.Korea is acting WILD. Ethan: Hmm Malone: YOu know Ethan: Gotta take of those– Malone: And so are WE! We’re fucking just pushing everything–pushing all the buttons. Trump’s a fucking um Russian spy or something. Ethan: Yeah, that’s apparently something– Malone: Whatever I don’t even fucking know dewd. But it’s just WILD. It’s a whole fucking–Government’s fucked. Ethan:So– Malone: So I’m just prepared. I’m taking–and you, plus I love the simple lyfe. You know, I love–I love to shoot guns, I love to ride vehicles, and run around n’ drinking, smokin’, kicking. Etha: So you think that, let’s say that like 100s of nukes drop. And the main cities, gone. Malone: Yeah Ethan: Everybody’s roaming the wilderness, it’s like a real fallout situation. But you have this bunker, you have this fallout shelter. And you’re posted up with a gun. People are crawling–clawing at your walls, they wanna get in: What do you do? Malone: It depends if they’re nice or not. Ethan: But there’s too many of ’em. Malone: How many are there? Ethan: Hundreds. Malone: Okay, so then we’re gonna have–What we’re gonna do in that situation is I’m already gonna have an internal operation. I–me of course–I’m gonna be the president of the new United St-, The New Republic of the United States of America. Ethan: Right. Malone: And if people wanna approach me, I’m gonna have a great bronze statue of, in front of my house, of myself. Ethan: Good. Malone: ..On a bear. Ethan: Beary modest. Malone: Yeah, very– Ethan: Keep it modest. Malone: I’m the new king of the new world so. Ethan: Yeah, yeah. Sounds like you’re planning for this shit. Malone: Yeah com–Have you ever felt like you’re destined to be something greater? Ethan: Ha-ha I want Moar. It sounds like you’re gonna be the one behind the nukes dropping. Malone: Not Me. Ethan: Shit. Malone: I’m just gonna start–I’m going to rise like from the ashes like a Phoenix. Ethan: Hmm Malone: And fucking, you know, we’re gonna have–If people want to get in, we’re gonna have to have like an Olympic games or some show of skill. Cuz we need–we need doctors. Ethan: Right. Malone: We need farmers. We need..–I’m taking a farming class, too. Ethan: OH, good. Malone: Yeah, so I’m just, you know uhm Ethan: So you’re gonna have like a Hunger Games type of situation outside your estate. Malone: Yeah, and if you don’t make it, hey, you know, you.. Ethan: Perish Malone: You outta here. You perish in the fallout. Ahehehe Ethan: And then like, okay but how serious are you? Malone: I’m VERY serious. Ethan: Cuz this is not a joke. This is– Malone: Right. something that you are legitimately are planning for and thinking about. Malone: Yeah, yeah. I mean, I think it’s, I mean.. It never hurts. Like I said, it’s gonna be–It’s gonna be a cool until the world ends, but when it does, I’m cool. Ethan: You’re gonna be good. Like, okay, so.. Malone: You guys are all invited. Ethan: *laughs* Thx dawg. I don’t have to Hunger Game it out with like Joey Salads Malone: Quick, drop a thousand in the donate sxn, you’re invited too. Ethan: OHHHHHHHHHHH That’s not a joke. Hila: *laughs* Ethan: Drop a thousand in the donate section and we’re gonna get your name and address; you’re on the list. Hopefully you don’t perish. We’re counting on your perishing. Malone: Pls don’t perish. Ethan: We’re counting on you perishing. Malone: Think about your future. Ethan: But if you perish–just, your money isn’t valued. Malone: Exactly. Ethan: You’re gonna be spending bottlecaps. Malone: That’s like the whole sk–*laughs* You’re just gonna live off bottle-caps. Oh, but that’s like–There’s a whole scam and shit. Like bunker for like a million bucks. Ethan: Hmm Malone; Like, that you live in. Ethan: Why is that a scam? Malone: Because you know, it’s like.. No-no normal person can afford that. Ethan: Oh yeah. Malone: No normal person can afford that and– Even if the world does end like, what is the, what are the people like running it gonna use the moolah for? Ethan: Hmm Well, it’s a businness. Malone: Yeah. Ethan: yeah. Yeah, there’s a lot of money in that. Malone: Yeah. Ethan: The thing is like, obviously it’s not a poor man’s game. Malone: Right. Ethan: I’ve heard that like all of the executives in Silicon Valley like these like Billionaires What–Their new hobby, what they do there, is making the most extravagant apocalypse bunker. Malone: Really? Ethan: Like, they compete with each other to make the most extravagant and insane apocalypse bunkers out there, spending hundreds of millions of bucks on these houses. Malone: It’s not smart to do it in California. Ethan: No, not in California. They’re out everywhere. Malone: Oh, really? Everywhere? They’re just in Silicon Valley, like these huge guys. I find that fascinating cuz these– Malone: Right. Ethan: These are not some like, fringe guys. These are big, smart, world leaders. Malone: Right. Ethan: And they’re out there making apocalypse bunkers. So.. We need to hustle more, Hila. Hila: I know. Ethan: We need a bunker. Malone: I figured, I figured we got umm 1.5 week. Ethan: That’s IT!?! Hila: What? Malone: I’m just fucking. Ethan: PLEASE DONATE! Malone: *laughs* Background : *notification chime* Ethan: So how do you seen, uhm..? Hila: Ethan? uhm.. Ethan: Yep. Hila: Are we supposed to change the title of the stream? Ethan: Mmm Hila: Cause we didn’t do that. Ethan: I think we could do that at–afterwards. Of the broadcast. Hila: Cause, I’m logged in, but I don’t know how to do it. Do you want to do it? Ethan: It’s fine. Hila: OK. Ethan: Let’s keep it riding. Hila: Yeah. Malone: Ride on. Ethan: Uhhm, so you have–(to cam crew) Everything’s cool? So you have like–I heard you talking about–you have a like government plan. You have appointed people in advance. Malone: Yeah, well, I mean I’m just tryna get a lil infrastructure laid out. Ethan: It’s important. Malone: It IS, cuz you can’t just be running around mumbly-jumbly. Ethan: You gotta, everyone’s gotta know what’s up. What do I get? Like, what’s my title? Malone: Uhm.. You will be.. The document of memes So, like whenever like ancient or, future civilizations look at what we’ve done, Ethan: They dig us up. Malone: They dig us up and they find all the memes in this tomb. Ethan: They find a pic of Ethan Bradberry. Hila: Heheh Malone: Exactly. Ethan Bradberry will be our Jesus. Ethan: Ethan Bradberry. They find pictures of him just like this. Hila: *laughs* Ethan: They’re like, this was an important person. Malone: This man, Ethan: This guy did a lot of things. Malone: We’ll have big mosaics of him just everywhere. Ethan: So, do you think Do you think it’s worth it to like build an underground bunker for like a–IF LA gets nuked? Malone: In LA? No. Ethan: You bury deep under the Earth. Cuz, what do you–? You’d need to be able to roam there. The world, right? Malone: Yeah, I mean too mank fucking people here. Ethan: Hmm Malone: They’re gonna fucking come in and figure out whatever um.. Or, LA just sinks into the ocean. Ethan: Hmm That’s optimistic. And just earthquakes RATTLE your world. Ethan: Huh. Maloen: Eh, LA’s a dangerous place. Ethan: Kind of. Earthquakes aren’t scary, you just don’t know when it’s of gonna hit. You’ve never been through an earthquake, have you? Malone: Yeah, I have been. Ethan: You have. Where? Malone:Well there was one in New York when I was a little kid Ethan:How big was it do you remember? Malone:It dropped stop lights and shit Yeah it was nice, it was a nice little rocker Ethan:Little shake Rattle and Roll Malone:


  • bruh why does joji look just like filthy frank?

  • 1:23:10

  • welp, steven halking didnt have 100 years left

  • Post just seems like such a nice down to earth guy. He's very likeable for someone so famous.

  • Dresden was bombed in February of 1945, Germany surrendered in April 1945 before anyone takes it out of context and freaks out……….Eddie Bravo

  • This was definitely a lit af podcast and I rewatch it so much that I quote it often lol

  • "The boys find Mom's cigs and beer"

  • Bask in the sounds of the rapture, for god shall reach man, and reap amongst the evil and tyranny of humankind

  • Shia Lebouf needs to brush his teeth

  • Nice bangs there postiii

  • its very watchable

  • "Hila has this drawing of a teddy bear that's really dope
    " ….and there it started….

  • 1:23:27 joji's face lmfao

  • rape is not a primal urge ethan lol. wanting to have sex is. but another biological human factor is morality. and morality overrides those simple urges

  • 1:23:18 the meme face of joji

  • 2:06:48 dude, wtf!? The only thing that is true about his statement is that Dresden used to be a beautiful city: Dresden was bombed by the allies, but it happend in spring when Germany hadn't yet surrendered. Second, 300.000 civilians? That's more than the deaths of Hiroshima, Nagasaki and Tokiyo combined – the actual number is about 25.000… Also, Dresden contained valuable machinery and infrastructure. This "Dresden was bombed and the allies were just as bad as the nazis"-argument was established by the Alt-right. Don't spread this propaganda!

  • Post got some nice cheek bones

  • Did pewdiepie take their camera?

  • How many times is Ethan going to say Austin

  • Oh….Ethan….no, no, no…..??

  • 1:23:25 When you eat a sour warhead

  • hell yea apocalypse bunker im all about it

  • Couple years late but whatever, Ethan your comments on the Dresden bombing were entirely inaccurate, the Dresden bombing happened 3 months before the capitulation of the Third Reich, it wasn’t just a civilian city, it was a major hub for Nazi goods, factories, and weaponry, your death count was entirely inaccurate as well, 22,000-25,000 people died, you stated that 300,000 people died, more than the amount of people, 129,000-226,000, who died in both atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and that the bombings happened 2 days after the Nazis capitulation, you spread literal Nazi propaganda to millions of viewers, it’s honestly a massive shame on you.

  • I think Steve Terreberry here on Youtube, would be a great person to interview.


  • When Post mentioned the stick figure and armor games I lost my shit , like all the flashbacks.

  • I personally think Bud Light is some Garbage

  • this ep should just be called: the s p o o k y episode

  • At 1:20:11 Joji’s teeth legit twinkles

  • 2:06:29. Ethan, only 25,000 people died in the bombing of Dresden, not 300.000
    It happened 3 months before the end of the war – not 2 days after
    It wasn't just a civilian city it held major industry and military use.
    At least research your facts before you start spreading Nazi propaganda

  • Fu ck , bro longest pic cast ever, but I listened too the whole thing, listen, to Post and Joji Ethan, you don't see microbes & sub atomic particles, energy is infinite, thermo dynamics dude,stuff be going forever, the universe just keeps expanding & expanding, we at earth are at the known edge of it , the edge bro, not the center, don't execute galilaeo , and every freethinker, just cuz u don't see shut with yo she's homie,that deal has too end eventually,ya kno,much love bro, I hope you find your unexplainable experience, like Posts ghosts, and Jojis demons, stay up dog, shits real out here, for any seeker of truth,, no matter the degree, or level of it, much love, CALI FRESHNESS

  • Ethan the skeptic lol

  • Post Malone looks like the lady that used to help with popcorn Friday in 5th grade

  • You should never be excused for a bodily function like burping or farting, rather take it as a sing of respect instead of disrespect, as the person is feeling at home, or simply does not give a flying fuck about being "Fake Social".. You think it's healthy to keep burps in? Don't wish pain on others, instead wish release for um 😀

  • What I wouldn't give to have these two on this podcast again now holy shit

  • 1:23:15

    you're welcome

  • "hila has this drawing of a teddy bear, it's pretty dope" fucking incredible

  • Man, listening to these again…

    I’d like to say THANK YOU TO ZACK! We can actually hear them now lol

  • Post malone looks cute lol

  • Watching this sep 2019. Miss this

  • Watch Joji rise from the dead at 57:35

  • I re-watch this episode like every couple of weeks. Best guests they ever had on the show.

  • Videos you can smell

  • The trumpets are fake

  • Sorry hila

  • 39:13 asap rocky type beat

  • Bangs are sooo stupid on girls, on post they are look good (All Homo)

  • oh my god they ate weed chocolate

  • you know Austion is a stoner when he brought up the towel under the door lmaooo

  • First edible i ate (i dont smoke weed or any thc) i was asleep and i wokeup at 2am and seen the cookie. It was packaged nice too cus it was from a medical dispensary. So i ate it cus i wanted sugar and i woke up 8 hours later HIGH A F and didnt do shit the whole day. First and last edible!

  • 10 ad rolls wow hehe isa okay though i'd do the same


    Sorry Hila

  • I am about to fuck the shit out of something that is double my age, and not hot… lol I am desperate! lol

  • Being high is like having autism hahaha I wanna get high

  • Budlights?! Cmon boys u need coronas and modelos

  • 1:23:10

  • 1:23:12

  • Joji is.. god

  • Post is so chill!

  • 10:25 only good part

  • Can I pay Post Malone in bottle caps for a spot in the bunker?

  • I actually fell asleep to this, woke up and started it back to where I left off. This good shit,man. I love you POSTY!

  • I wanna be a part of this friendship!!!!! All of you are so fucking real and fucking awesome!

  • re-watching this at 2 a.m. made me realize that Joji is the biggest of moods

  • nobody:
    ethan: so gRRrrrowing up

  • 52:55 A wild Joji appears

  • 1:31:13

    me: starts saving up $1 million

  • alien butt trumpet

  • so much foreshadowing… sweeden and puka shells… its like they are fortune tellers

  • East Syracuse in the house what up post?

  • East Syracuse in the house what up post?

  • bruh 1:22:28

  • Jojis face at 1:23:24

  • 1:23:26 joji = ?

  • does post malone use a label maker as a laptop?

  • 52:59

  • Sorry Hila lmao

  • 26:25

  • 1:23:15 ur here for this

  • guess im the only one who came for 1:23:15

  • The Gentleman’s Guide: Always ask for permission before taking her to bed lol does that explain the face? ?

  • 31:56 Post is right! Hila needs to record some audiobooks. Her soothing voice is what first got me listening.

  • Post Malone can't beat

    The peep or creep

    Because it is changing the game for creeps like me

  • How do i knoa about h3h3 and filthy frank now in 2019

  • Why does this look like 480p while it's supposed to be 720?

  • 26:24

  • 51:16

  • 52:58 joji shows up

  • the sky trumpet is like Minecraft cave sounds irl

  • sounds like yall were laced……only way what your saying is true
    ive met people who were laced who say the same exact thing but they know they were laced

  • 52:39 Little did we know that the, " drawing of this teddy bear," would become a clothing company brand!

  • Can you imagine Joji x Post Malone?

  • The double flash could've also been a nuclear test 1:37:01

  • "Relating to people parking in your driveway for 20 bucks when you live in a tourist town."

  • 52:50 Joji comes on

  • here i am still waiting for Joji Feat Post Malone music

  • George is so unbelievably smart

  • "They're giving their dogs prozac"

    "…to rape?"

    Cue me ugly laughing ?

  • Bruh when he tells the story about eating that chocolate 5:33

  • idk if this is offensive or not but can anyone tell me why ethan does this weird eyebrow thing?

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