Enneagram #4 The Individualist | Sandals Church

(lively instrumental music) – Welcome, thank you.
(applause) Hopefully you guys are
excited and ready men. Listen to me. This series is changing lives. We’ve had over 5,000 people
take the personality assessment and literally lives are
changing, marriages are changing. People who don’t even
go to Sandals Church, people who have no idea
what Christianity is are being introduced to
Jesus through this series. So keep inviting your friends. Keep telling them about what it is. Show them your funky score
and you don’t even know what the crossword puzzle
weird color chart is, show it to ’em. Because it’s really really
helping and blessing people. Listen, if you’re visiting us today, let me just say, I’m glad you’re here. And I just want you to know
that this series called You, when I first encountered
Enneagram, about 15 years ago, it transformed my life. It changed the way I see God because it changed the way I see myself. It made me a better dad. It made me a better husband. It made me a better Christian
and a better pastor. And I believe that if
you take the time to get to know yourself and let God speak, he will transform and change your life. So now let me say this. Today we’re talking about
the four, the individualist. If you are a parent here, let me beg you. Let me beg you. If you have a little
four that you’re raising, you need to listen to this sermon over and over and over again, okay? Because if you’re raising a four, you might want to jump off a cliff. Don’t do that because they’re special, they’re unique, they’re amazing. Listen to me, don’t you dare change them. That’s the way God made them. They are special, they are amazing. And let me say this, they’re
almost always misunderstood. And so if you’re a four, don’t
panic if you know your Bible. If you don’t know your Bible,
you’re not gonna panic. But if you know your Bible,
you’re gonna freak out as soon as we, I tell
you who we’re gonna talk about today as a four. And let me tell you why I think you’re wrong when you freak out. Because I think the person
we’re gonna talk about today gets a bad rap. He gets a bad rap. And he was an amazing, amazing individual who was thrust into an
incredible position of leadership and it was excruciatingly
difficult for him. But because of his obedience to God, he transformed and changed
the nation of Israel. And let me tell you who
we’re gonna talk about today. King Saul, King Saul,
an amazing individual. And most of you know his
story because it ends in a cloud of dust and
some emotional rants and he tries to throw spears at people. If you’re a four, put down
the spear and listen up. God has a wonderful plan for your life. And he made you you. Don’t ever ever let somebody tell you you need to be different, be
who God’s called you to be. Listen to me, everybody
else is already taken. Be who God made you to be. So let’s pray because
our fours, listen to me. Remember what we said last week,
we talked about the threes. America is the land of the
brave and the home of the three. In America, we kill
fours, that’s what we do. We eat them up, we spit
them out but we need them. They’re amazing. And if you have a community
group and there’s no fours in your community group, go get one. Go get one because they
feel the heart of God, they feel your feelings. Especially if you’re a three, you need a four so you can
discover your feelings. They know your feelings
better than you do. So go get one cause they feel, that’s who they are and they’re awesome. So let’s begin with a word of prayer. God we thank you for every
single person in our church. God they are gifts to us. God they are gifts to Sandals Church, God especially the fours. We’re so grateful for them. God I pray they would never be ashamed of who they are or what
you’ve called them to be. But God they would
embrace their uniqueness and just trust you in this process. We pray in Jesus name, Amen. Now let’s take a look. If you have your Bibles,
let’s open up to first Samuel. If you’re new to Christianity, let me just tell you two
books you should read. First and second Samuel,
amazing amazing books. Samuel is of the most important characters in the entire history of our faith. You need to know him, you
need to know about him, and he led Israel for an
amazing period of time but he’s at the end of his life. He’s not doing well, he
was an amazing leader, not a great dad. And many leaders are not great dads. And so he raised up some idiot sons and Israel’s freaking out. They’re freaking out. We love Samuel, his boys make us nervous. We want a king, we don’t
want Samuel’s family line. So Samuel’s upset about it. He goes to the Lord and the Lord says, listen to me, he says,
give them what they want. Be careful, you keep asking God for stuff, he might give it to you. God says fine, enough, give it to them. Give them what they want. They want a king, they can have a king. So here we go, here’s the story. Later Samuel called the people of Israel to meet before the Lord. Circle this word, at Mizpah. Now I know, you’re not a
Bible historian or guru or a walking Bible
bibliography, I understand that. But circle that word
because this is important. Literally, in the book of Judges, something else happens at
Mizpah and here’s what it is. The extermination of the tribe of Benjamin almost takes place. All of the 11 tribes of
Israel gathered together because the tribe of
Benjamin was so wicked, so evil, so terrible, they
set out to wipe them off the face of the earth at Mizpah. Remember the tribe of Benjamin, just put that in your note,
put that in your noodle, let it sit there, we’ll
get there in a second. And he said, this is what the Lord, God of Israel has declared,
okay, this is God. He said, I brought you from Egypt. I rescued you from the Egyptians, and from all the other nations
who are oppressing you. But though I have rescued you
from your misery and distress, you have rejected your
God today and have said, “No, we want a king instead.” This is what God’s people do. We want to be led by our own emotions, our own desires and not God. God says fine, you want a
king, I’ll give you a king. But I’m supposed to be your king. Listen to me and if you don’t know this, Jesus is supposed to be your
king so get off the throne. Get off the throne, there’s not two seats. There’s not one there
for you, it’s for Jesus. He says, but you’ve rejected God today. You’ve said, we want a king instead. Now therefore present
yourselves before the Lord by tribes and by clans. So tribe is your big group. That’s who you are, there’s 12 tribes in the nation of Israel. And within those 12 tribes, there are clans, there are clans. And so God says, I want
you all to appear today. We’re going to pick
from all of your tribes and from your clans today. We’re going to elect a king. No that’s not what he says,
God says, I’ve chosen a King. And if you’re a four
and you’re freaking out, God chooses a four to be the king. Listen to me, as a four,
the world will never realize how special you are but God does. God does. God sees you for who you are. So Samuel brought all the
tribes before Israel the Lord. And the tribe of Benjamin
was chosen by lot. What does that mean? They gamble, uh-uh,
they threw dice, uh-uh, God’s in control. Throw dice, go to Vegas,
do whatever you want. Listen to me, God is in control. He’s in control. And we’re always freaking out, right? Obama gets elected, oh my gosh. Trump gets elected, oh my gosh. Everybody’s freaking out. God is not surprised,
God is not surprised. God’s not sitting in heaven watching CNN, “I wonder who will get elected today. “Jesus, how do think
this is gonna turn out?” They’re not eating popcorn and wondering. They’re not anxiously freaking out. God knows, he’s in control, he understands exactly what’s happening. But the people of Israel are like, “Okay, God’s gonna choose somebody.” So they brought forth each
family of the tribe of Benjamin. Remember they gathered
at Mizpah at one time to exterminate the tribe of Benjamin. But they didn’t. The tribe of Benjamin is still here. But listen to me, four is
there, the smallest clan in Israel, smallest tribe. Smallest, the most insignificant and yet the most
significant person will come from that tribe, from that group. The Lord brought each family of the tribe of Benjamin before the Lord. And the family of the Matrites was chosen. And finally Saul son of Kish
was chosen from among them. I love this. Oh, we know who the new king is. We’ve just elected a president,
we now have a leader. But when they looked for him, underline, what does it say? He disappeared, why, that’s what fours do. “Oh, I’m in the spotlight,
oop, I’m out of here. “I’m out of here.” Okay, there’s one person in the audience who doesn’t want to be king. You know what his name is, Saul. He doesn’t want to do that. He doesn’t want to be enthroned
in front of everybody. So they asked the Lord, where is he? We just elected somebody
and we can’t find him. I love this, the Lord replied. And let me tell you this. If you’re a four, you can hide from me but you can’t hide from God. And the Lord replied, he’s
hiding amongst the baggage. He’s over there, right over there. Right, right over there. Some of you think, I’ll run
from God, I’ll go to Vegas. I’ll move to California, I’ll
move away from California. I’ll go wherever I wanna go. God will find you, God will find you. When I ran from God, you know what I did? I joined the United States Army. I ran from God. No I will not serve you
God, I will serve America. I joined the army. You know what they did the
first week in bootcamp? They made us go to church. It was a different time. It was a different time. I was awakened in the morning,
4:00AM with a trash can. (mimics banging trashcan) “Get up Brown!” You know what my private, or
my drill sergeant told me. He said, “You got a problem. “You know what your
problem is, Pvt. Brown?” I said, “No, Sir.” He said, “Your name is too…” And I can’t use the word ’cause he cursed, too, well let’s say dang. There’s children present. Your name is two dang easy to
remember, that’s your problem. So when he didn’t know who to yell at, guess who he picked? “Pvt. Brown, get over here!” You know what he told me? He said, “You’re going to church today.” I said, “I don’t wanna go to church.” He said, “I don’t care. “Get up, you’re going to church.” I ran from God, can’t run from God. God says, where’s Matt,
where is private Brown? There he is in the baggage, get him, boom. He’s going to church. You know what happened
when I went to church? Cried the whole service. Whole service in front of fellow soldiers. (mimics crying) You know why? ‘Cause I got a little four in me. I do, it’s one of the major
influences of my life. I cry all the time. I’ve seen the Notebook a
thousand times, I cry every time. Every time. My wife, my kids, they
don’t watch the movie, they watch dad. “You crying again dad? “You know she didn’t know who he is.” (mimicking crying) “So good.” I’m just emotional. I got a lot of four inside me, okay? So they ask, where is he? And the Lord replied, “He’s
hiding amongst the baggage.” So they found Him, they brought him out. “Hey, you’re our king.” Underline this fours. Here he is trying to hide
and what does it say? He stood head and shoulders
above everyone else. And if you’re a four, you always will. Do you know why, if you’re a four, people are critical of you? Because they’re envious
of you and your gift and your uniqueness, your
talent, you’re different. You don’t look like everybody else, you don’t act like
everybody else, you’re you. And so oftentimes, what
we do in our culture, when someone is a little different, is we try to wreck ’em. Why would it be significant
that the Lord would say, he stood head and shoulders
amongst everyone else? Because if you’re a Jew, you’re God’s chosen
people but you’re short. That was funnier than that. It was funnier than that. He’s taller than everybody else. When you read the Bible,
usually when they described the enemies of God,
you know what they say? They’re tall, they’re really really tall. Because when you’re a
Jew, that was important. Who we fighting? Tall guys. It’s like on a basketball team. You just gonna lose man. You’re just, it’s not good. Thank God, the Jews had God, Amen. You go to the battle, said
wow, Goliath is tall, he is. I ain’t fighting him, they just don’t. But they say Saul is
taller than everyone else, he stood, head and
shoulders above anyone else. And then Samuel said to the people, underline this and don’t ever forget it. This is the man the Lord has chosen. This is who God picked to be your king. No one, listen to me if you’re a four. No one in Israel is like
him, nobody is like him. Stop apologizing for being different. Stop apologizing for feeling different. God’s made you different. No one’s like him. unless you read the next chapter. ‘Cause you know what it says? Not everybody liked Saul. Not everybody agrees. Welcome to leadership. Welcome to leadership. Everybody like, read the next chapter. Some people didn’t bless him, didn’t honor him, didn’t like him. He’s a little different. Why was he hiding in the baggage? That freaks me out, I want a leader that’s not in the baggage. I don’t want a leader with baggage. Saul was in the baggage, not only does he have baggage, right? So let’s talk about the individualist. The individualist
reflects God’s uniqueness. God is unique. Listen to what God says, Then the Lord God said to Moses, there is no one like me in all the earth, there’s no one like me. I’m gonna send you to Pharaoh who believes that all gods are the same, all religions lead to the same place. It’s all the same, blah! God says, there’s no one like me. And don’t you ever let pharaoh forget it. There’s no one like God. Who picks a stutterer to
proclaim your message? God does. Some of you’VE read that. So if you, the king James,
it says, slow of tongue. It means he stutters. That’s who God picks
to announce his glory. Do you know why? ‘Cause it wasn’t about Moses’ words. It was about the power of God. There’s no one like me. And if you get tripped up,
you got your brother Aaron, let him talk, now go, now go. You see the four reflects
God’s uniqueness. Listen to me if you’re a four. You know what Moses
said, God I can’t talk. God you picked the wrong one. God you never would pick me. And fours never feel like
they’re suppose to lead. And oftentimes, they are the only ones who can feel and sense
the direction of God. Everybody else is going their own way. The fours is like, I don’t
feel we should be doing this. This doesn’t feel right. They reflect the uniqueness of God. Now here’s what’s amazing, the four and the three sit right together. The three is motivation,
remember last week. The successful person
wants to be successful. They don’t really care how they feel, they just want to win
at your expense, right? I just want to win and I need you to lose. So everybody knows where
everybody sits on the food chain. The four doesn’t want to win but they want to feel like
what they’re doing matters. So if you’re raising a four, they’re not gonna be interested
in making a lot of money. They’re gonna interested in
doing something that matters. So you’ll send your four to
college and spend $200,000 and they’ll pick a career path
that earns 10 bucks an hour. Oh, but it makes a difference. And you’re pulling your
hair out as a three or an eight or whatever you are freaking out because
your little four wants to do something that matters. That’s who they are, they care
about making a difference. Look, you can win threes. You can all win, you can
all do what you want to do. Look, I just want to make a difference. I want my life to matter. So the motivation is significance. First Samuel 14:47-48, listen to me. Some of you, you’re gonna hate
the fact that I picked four. And let me just tell you this, when you read through the Bible, here’s one of the things
that’s amazing about the Bible. When a king dies, the Jews
who write about the king, let me just say this,
they are brutally honest. Brutally honest. Like you don’t wanna be a Jewish king ’cause if you stunk,
they let everybody know. You were terrible, you are so terrible, you don’t even get to be
buried with the kings, we don’t even like you. We didn’t like you when you were alive and we don’t like you
now that you’re dead. Jews are real, very very
real about their leaders. When you read in first Samuel, when Saul passes, they
loved him, they loved him. It says this, when Saul
had secured his grasp on Israel’s throne, he
fought against his enemies, circle these words, in every direction. Anybody ever seen where Israel lies? Right in the middle of
every major super power for the last 3,000 years. You know where their enemies are? In every direction, in every direction. America has been blessed
in that we are separated by vast amounts of water, right? We have literally the Atlantic Ocean and we have the Pacific Ocean. We’ve been very very safe. Israel, not so safe, not so safe. So what does he do? He fought against his enemies in every direction and he performed, underline this, great deeds, saving Israel from all those
who had plundered them. That’s pretty amazing. Let me tell you something, you can control what you do in life. You know what you can’t control? What people say about you when you die. People can say what they want. They’re eating potato salad,
you paid for it, you’re dead. They’re gonna say
whatever they want to say. They’re gonna say. One time I went to a funeral,
there’s an old lady there. She had to be in her 90s. We buried her husband. I said, how you’re doing? She said, “I’m just glad he’s gone.” “Wow”, she said, “Potato salad’s good.” (laughter). See, when you’re dead, people
will say the truth about you. Listen to me, Saul was an amazing leader. What’s the need? The need is to be unique. Listen to me, if you’re
a four you are unique. You are unique. What does the four avoid? Being basic, right? You’re not taking your
four kid to JC Penny. They’re gonna make their own clothes. The three wants a label,
the four hates the label. I will not shop at Nordstrom. They’re gonna find some reason. They wanna be different. Like I’m wearing my
fours shirt that I have. It says I’m a four, I like
to party but I also preach. That’s what the shirt is saying. And see a four loves the
shirt except the fact that there’s a label and
they’re like ah I hate that. I hate that. You had me pastor except for the label. If you’re really in
touch with your feelings, you would have sewn that shirt yourself on a spiritual trip to India. Okay, I don’t have that much four. I don’t need to soak in my own clothing and weave it from some hair
from a camel somewhere in India. I don’t need to do that, fours want to do that,
that’s just fantastic. What does a four focus on? What’s missing. Listen to me, this is literally the thorn in the four’s flesh. They have a hard time being happy. Because they’re constantly
focused on what’s missing. What’s wrong with the world? What’s wrong with their clothes? What’s wrong with their status? They can be overwhelmed
with what’s missing. They struggle being satisfied. Fours, if they’re not careful, they can really really enjoy
being kind of depressed, kind of dark. Somebody loves the four, do you hear that. And if you know the story of Saul, it gets a little dark. He gets a little depressed. Matter of fact, they have
to bring in a young guy by the name of David to
play the harp to soothe him when he’s seriously depressed. When he’s seriously feeling
really really emotionally low, they bring in David, he plays the harp, it makes him feel better. So he focuses on what’s missing. What’s the course into the four? Okay, if you’re a four, get off Instagram, it’s enviogram for you. Get off it, don’t look at it. There’s gonna be somebody
else more creative. Oh my gosh, I should have thought of that or I’ve been having that
idea forever in mind. Don’t look at it man. This is the madness of our modern society. Every idea, every unique thing you have, there’s somebody else that’s doing it. The core sin of the four is envy. I want to be the most
unique, the most special. And you’re unique and you’re special. And that’s threatening to me, right? I get to be the only weird one. No, have you looked around? Have you noticed? There’s some other fours. There’s some other people on a spiritual journey in
India making their own clothes. The core sin is envy. Oh my gosh, I need to be the
only one who is creative, who’s an individual and there
can be no one even remotely like them because then
I have to hate them. Guess what happens in Saul’s life. He becomes so preoccupied
with a young man named David that he loses complete sight of who he is. And let me say this if you’re a four. I wanna go back to the
summary of Saul’s death. They didn’t say we hated Saul. They said, we loved him. He fought our enemies in every direction. He protected us, he was
valiant and he was loyal to us. The nation grieved when he died. Some of you don’t know this. But God anoints David King. Did you know that there was a civil war that raged in Israel for 30 years? For 30 years, do you know why? Listen to me fours because
people were still loyal to the line of Saul. They loved him, they were loyal to him. So the core sin of the four is envy. And here’s their fear, being unnoticed. Oftentimes, if you have multiple children, that middle child is the
most likely to be a four. They feel unseen, unheard, unnoticed. They’re not the first,
they’re not the last, they’re stuck in the middle. And so that’s their fear,
no one’s gonna see me. Nobody cares about how I feel, nobody cares about what I think. Nobody cares about what I do. And oftentimes fours they’re
not gonna be the valedictorian. They’re not interested in sports. You know what they’re
interested in, being themselves. And if you love a four, you need to be interested in that too. ‘Cause God’s made them different. Absolutely different. They’re not always into competitions. They just enjoy life for what it is. And that’s why we need to
appreciate these people because they remind us that it’s important to be significant in life
and make a difference. So their fear is being unnoticed. First Samuel 18:7-9,
so here’s what happens. David, young King David
is being raised up. And David is a warrior,
David is amazing, right? The story isn’t Saul defeats Goliath. Does anybody remember the story? David defeats Goliath. So people start to get
excited about the newer, younger, fresher version of Saul and so here’s how the
women sing this song. They sing this song and here it is. Saul has killed his thousands. David has killed his what? Ten thousands. And this made Saul very angry. “What’s this?” he said. They credit David with ten thousands and me only with only a thousand. Next they’ll be making him their king. Underline this. So from that time on, Saul
kept a jealous eye on what? David. Do you know where Saul’s
eye should have been? On God. Listen to me very
carefully if you’re a four. When God chooses David to be king, you need to really listen to his words. This is what he says to King Saul. I have found a man who is after my heart. Listen to me if you’re a four, you can be overwhelmed with your heart, your emotions, your feelings. You can be so consumed with how you feel you lose your faith. And if you’ve read the
Bible, David ain’t perfect. Wait till we get to the seven. We’re gonna study David,
David likes to party. Sometimes it’s with Bathsheba, sometimes he’s naked worshiping God. That’s strange. That’s a little strange. That’s the seven, they like a party. So how on earth does a four, oh, I skipped something, sorry. He kept a jealous eye on David. What’s the underlying emotion? We’re still in the shame quadrant. Twos, threes and fours feel shame. Remember if you’re a two, you’re ashamed you’re not good enough unless
you’re doing something, you’ve got to serve somebody. If you’re a three you’re
ashamed you’re not good enough so you wrap yourself in
things or in achievement. If you’re a four you’re
ashamed of being ordinary, you’re not special, you’re not unique, and what’s tragic about this,
if you’re a four, you are. You are, just by being
a four, listen to me, there are less fours than
any other number in America. You’re automatically unique and special simply by being a four. It’s a lie, don’t believe it. Don’t believe it. Remember what God says to Eve? “Who told you you were naked?” If you’re a four, here’s what
you need to hear from God, who told you you’re ordinary? Because it’s not God. God knows you’re special, God sees you, God saw Saul, he picked him from the crowd and when Saul tried to run
from his creative destiny, God said he’s in the
baggage, he’s in the baggage, I see you, you can’t run from me. You didn’t think I noticed but I noticed because I’m God. So get over here and let
us anoint you as king. So how on earth does a
four need to be real? Real with yourself, Psalms 139:14, if you’re a four would you do
me a favor and memorize this and never forget it? And the next time you feel sad, depressed, you feel like you don’t mean
anything, you have no value, I want you to recite God’s Word. Thank you God for making
me so wonderfully complex. Your workmanship is marvelous. Listen to me, when you
call yourself worthless, you know what you’re telling God? He makes junk. God doesn’t make junk and he made you. Your workmanship, God is marvelous, how well I know it? Listen, Saul’s depressed
because he’s not David. God never created Saul to be David. And let me just say this, let’s just talk about Saul for a minute. Do you know Saul was an amazing dad? Do you know how I know that? Because his son’s name is
Jonathan, he’s fantastic. Anybody look at David’s kids? Not so good, not so good. Read about an Absalom. Absalom tries to kill his dad, David. Jonathan was loyal to the
very end, absolutely loyal. He raised great kids, he did great things, he did amazing things. God never ever ever
called him to be David, he called him to be Saul. And here’s what God
wants you to be, be you, don’t be anybody else, be
who God has called you to be. You to be. Here’s the transformation that
you need to embrace as a four it’s called gratitude. What is the four focused on? What’s missing, what’s
missing, what’s wrong with me, what don’t I have, what
gifts am I missing? So if you’re the four, you wish
you were every other number ’cause your course ends envy. “Why can’t I be a one?” “Why can’t I be a one?” If I was a one, I would
shoot on people so good. “Why can’t I be a two?” I would serve everyone,
I would be like Jesus. “Why can’t I be a three?” I would be successful. “Why can’t I be a five?” Deep, a deep thinker. “Why can’t I be a six, right?” I want to be a six, I want
my course end to be fear ’cause at least that’s reasonable. I want to be a seven,
I need to let it loose and have a good time. I’m gonna be an eight, tell people I feel. I want to be a nine and just chill. Why God did you make me a four? Because he’s God and you’re not. That’s how you know when
you’re probably a four, when you wish you were something else. Hmm, pray about it, see what God says. Gratitude, God thank you for making me me. Thank you, we’re raising
a four in our household and she is our middle kid, our middle kid. Listen to me, she beats
to a different drum. Your four might not even beat to a drum. It could be a harmonica. They could invent an instrument,
that’s what fours do. Fours are radically
different and listen to me, they don’t fit into your box. They’re not interested in being you, and that’s what a lot of us do as parents. I’m gonna raise not a child to be godly, but a child to be almost
like God, that means me. That’s what we all do as parents, right? “I’m gonna recreate my
child and they’re gonna have “the life I always wanted.” Show me that verse, show me the verse where
God says raise your child to be everything you wanted
to be and have everything you wish you had. Last time I checked
all kids are God’s kids and you’re a steward of the resources he’s entrusted you with. Fours are different, fours are different. My daughter’s a four, she took, well, we don’t know if
she took third place, fourth place or fifth place in the state and let me tell you why. They all crashed at the finish line. So I think the judges just
guessed, they didn’t know. It’s just a pile of dust and whatever. So my daughter literally
in the State of California, literally one of the greatest
mountain bikers, man, she just was awesome, she’s like, “Yeah I hate it, I’m done.” She’s not interested in racing. Sometimes she would be racing
and she’d be in first place and then we would lose her. Like what happened? “I don’t know dad, I
was just I was out there “and I just started thinking–” I’m like, “You’re in a race! You’re in a race and I’m a
three and you need to win. (laughter) Like how on earth in a race
do you forget where you are? “I don’t know, I just saw B and I thought, “I could be whatever I
wanted to be,” and then, like one time another girl’s bike broke and she stopped to help. I’m like, “What are you doing? “Step on her head and go by.” It didn’t always bring out the best in me, and my wife’s like well
what daddy really means is good job and way to be like Christ. Others, here’s the thing if you’re a four, you got to see the beauty
and talent of others as a good thing. Let me confess this to
you as sin, this is sin. I’m a three wing four,
so what that means is, I want to be successful and I’m envious of everyone else who is. That’s how it works out in my life. It’s great, thank you Jesus
for making me this way. Your workmanship is marvelous
and how wonderful you know it. Okay, I wanted to be the
greatest preacher ever and I wanted no one to be like me, and you know what I discovered? God has a lot of amazing preachers. Like they’re just awesome
and that really irked me. That’s what sin does, that’s
what the sin of envy does. God, we need to reach the world for Christ and we will do it through
me, your humble servant. That’s what envy does. You’ve got to see the
beauty and talent of others as a good thing, it’s a good thing. All beauty reflects the glory of God. All talent reflects the glory of God. It’s okay if someone’s a little better, a little more beautiful,
a little more creative, a little more special than you, it’s okay, because God didn’t call you to be them, he called you to be you and
you reflect the glory of God just like they do in a different
way, in a different way. See beauty and the talent
of others as a good thing. Here’s one of the amazing,
you probably never noticed this verse in the
scripture, it’s beautiful. The conflict of the
Philistines was fierce, all of Saul’s days they had
battles all of his life. So whenever Saul noticed any
stronger brave man he what? He enlisted him. Saul was a noticer, he saw talent and he wasn’t intimidated
by it, he utilized it. That’s a healthy four. “Oh, you’re gifted, wow,
we could do amazing things “for the glory of God with your gifts.” “Wow, you’re talented.” And one of the things God
had to twist in my heart was quit seeing talent as competition and seeing it as a gift from
God to us in his kingdom. See, when it’s about you it’s a threat, when it’s about God it’s
a benefit and it’s great and it’s amazing, and let me
tell you one of the reasons I believe Sandals Church
is as successful as it is. Because about 15 years ago
I had to repent from envy and say God send me
all the talent you can. If you’ve met our executive
team, if you’ve met them, every single one of them are amazing, gifted, talented leaders
and they serve here because I’ve learned not to
be intimidated by giftedness but to celebrate it and
to say you guys are great and be everything God’s called you to be. I don’t have to know
everything, do everything, be every thing, God doesn’t
want me to be awesome, he wants this church to be
awesome and for that to be true we have to have an awesome
team, an awesome team. That’s why we do so great. You guys should meet our
team, they’re amazing. Amazing, amazing people
who serve God at Sandals but that doesn’t happen
when a leader is insecure and is intimidated by giftedness. And listen to me just
because you’re Christian doesn’t mean you don’t struggle with envy. Saul was the king of Israel
and struggled with it deeply. You’re not King but you can struggle. Alright, next how do you
need to be real with God? You’ve got to know your
place if you’re a four. you’ve got to understand
you cannot be ruled by your emotions. Saul waited there seven days for Samuel. What happened? He was told wait seven
days and I will come and I will sacrifice, I will do it. There are only three roles
in the Old Testament, three roles, listen to me; prophet, priest and King. There are only three roles
in the Old Testament; prophet, priest and King. You know what’s amazing? Saul was two. He was King and if you study his life, do you know what he was? He was a prophet, he prophesied. He’s two of the three offices. He’s two of the three, that’s not bad. Two of the three, you
got two of the three. Man, it’s awesome if you
got one of the three. You’re king, it’s good to be king. You’re a prophet, that’s amazing. You’re a priest, that’s incredible. Only Jesus would be all three. So here’s the thing, Saul you’re a prophet and you’re a king, listen
to me, you’re not a priest, you need to wait for the
priest Samuel to sacrifice before you go into battle. Saul waited there seven days for Samuel but you know what happened? Samuel was a little late. Samuel had instructed him earlier to wait but Samuel didn’t come on time. Anybody ever had that prayer? Lord, I need you to answer
me in the next eight minutes. Saul realized that his troops
were rapidly slipping away so he demanded, bring
me the burnt offering and the peace offerings
and Saul sacrificed the burnt offering himself. He acted as the priest and
do you know what happened? He lost the role as prophet and King and God chose David. Write this down, feel your
emotions but follow your faith. Feel your emotions, God gave them to you, but follow your faith. So how to love a four? Number one, don’t put them in
a box, it ain’t gonna work. I don’t care how big the box is. Don’t put them in a box. Next, enjoy and appreciate
how deeply they feel. Some of you have no hearts. You didn’t hear that? You don’t have a feeling,
maybe you did once. They have feelings, they have emotions. Appreciate that, love
that, celebrate that. Man, it’s great they cry in worship and some of you are like,
you’re like Mr. Spock. “Tell me how that feels.” Some of you watch people in here worship, they lift their hands, you’re
just like, that’s interesting. Some of you at the height
of your inspiration, I make an amazing point and you’re like, “Well done, Pastor. Well done.” And if you don’t know
who I’m talking about, I’m talking about the fives,
we’re gonna get you next week. This is a crazy five, “Praise You Lord.” That’s a five, just letting it loose. Enjoy and appreciate how deeply they feel. It’s okay to cry at The Notebook even if you’ve seen it a
thousand times, it’s okay. Next, point out how their
uniqueness has blessed you. Fours will bless your life if you let ’em. Tell ’em, “Man, this is how
you’ve blessed my life.” Next, challenge them to
feel but to not be led by their feelings. And you’re gonna need to do
this like every day, every day. Okay, we’ve cried for 58 minutes, it’s good, it’s a good
cry, it’s a good cry. We’ve all felt the
weight of your emotions. Now, I need you to do the right thing whether you feel like it or not. Next, five, enjoy the ride,
it’s gonna be fun. (whoops) Whenever we go in to talk with
the four who’s my daughter, I don’t know where we’re going but I know it’s gonna be entertaining. And the conversation usually
starts off with nothing’s wrong and then eight hours later, (blabbers). Wow, it’s awesome. So how do you pray for the four? God let me feel my emotions
but follow your commands. Look, I get it Saul. You panicked, you freaked, Samuel’s late. He should have read Lord of
the Rings, wizard is never late they arrive precisely when they mean to. That’s Gandalf, it’s not in
the Bible but it’s close. I get it, I get it. Wouldn’t you guys be
freaking out if you’re going into a battle and everybody’s panicking and you’re the leader and
you’re waiting for Samuel and he’s old, did he die on the way? I can’t text him, I can’t call him, I don’t know where he is,
maybe he forgot, I don’t know. Samuel said wait seven
days and I’ll be there and then we’ll go to battle
and God will give you victory. Follow your faith, not your emotions. God let me feel my emotions
but follow your commands, help me to see the
uniqueness, my uniqueness and to love it the way you do. That’s what you need to help a four with. Help them to love
themselves the way God does. Help me to see others
giftedness and to celebrate it instead of being jealous of it. Fours are amazing, absolutely amazing and we are blessed to have them. But listen to me fours,
if you don’t get a control of your emotions you’re gonna throw spears at the people you love. And if you don’t believe
me, read the Bible. Let’s pray. I’m going to ask our
ushers to come forward to receive today’s Lord’s Supper,
so let’s prepare for that. Heavenly Father, as we
prepare to embrace Lord, the Lord’s Supper, God, help us all to just get in touch with our four, Lord, our individualist spirit so
that we can get in touch Lord with the emotion of the Lord’s Supper. God help us to feel your
sacrifice, your death, your suffering so that we could have a right relationship with you. God, we’re so thankful for what
you did for us in the cross and we remember your death until you come. We love you Lord Jesus and we
ask that you bless this time, this place and this church
and that you would be a part of this amazing
thing you asked us to do as we remember you. We pray this in Jesus name, Amen. (applause) (upbeat worship music) – I think whether you’re a four or not, if you’re honest with yourself, you’re someone who maybe
is trying to follow Jesus, really so much of our daily life whether it’s our emotional experience, the way we think about what we’re going on or really just how we act
and engage with the world, so much of that is just
about our own selves. We get caught up in our own
lives, our own problems, thinking about our own
journey, our own stories. One of the things I love
about this time of communion or the Lord’s Supper that
Jesus has asked his church to practice together, one of the things I
love about this moment, it’s just supposed to be
a moment where we take all of that focus away from ourselves and we direct it back to Jesus. It’s kind of like when Pastor
Matt was just talking about, David, excuse me, Saul was so
consumed with his own heart, his own experience and God was
out there looking for someone who would be after God’s heart. Now, this is a moment where each of us, we want to kind of press into that, and I even want to invite you
if you’re a four right now man just let yourself be. If you have super low four or
a little bit of four in you, whatever you have man,
allow yourself to just feel. Man, this is a moment where
for followers of Jesus we declare God’s victory in our lives. Man, whether we have broken relationships, whether we have man struggles
or addictions or habits that we just can’t drop, man, God loves us, he’s with us. He sees us and he wants
to walk alongside us. This is a moment where we remember that. Because of Jesus, we’ve got hope. Because of Jesus, we can
be in relationship with God and in that moment, God said
hey, I absolutely love you. So this is a time for us
to practice gratitude. As we say thank you to Jesus, we remember what you have done. And communion the Lord’s Supper that we’re about to take
together is for people who are following Jesus, Christians is what we would say. So if you’re a Christian
we want to invite you to just take the Lord’s Supper with us. If you’re not yet a Christian, no worries. You can just hang on
to those items and toss them after church. But this is also an incredible
moment for some of you who’ve been maybe coming to church, checking out this Jesus thing to say, I don’t know yet what all
of this would look like but I want to step into a
relationship with Jesus, I want to take anything
that’s broken in my life, I want to take all of my, all of who I am and say Jesus I want to
figure out what it looks like to live with you and to trust you. That’s an incredible moment for you and we would love to invite
you to become a Christian and let this active communion
be your very first step of obedience in following Jesus, and we’d like to invite
you to take those together. So on the night Jesus was
betrayed he took some bread and after he broke it he
said this is my body broken for you, do this in remembrance of me. Did you take your bread? Then he held up a cup of wine
and he said this is my blood, spilled for you, would
you take your grape. Jesus loves you more than
you can possibly fathom. Let’s continue to sing.


  • Lol what a 3 intro.

  • Watching from Nigeria. I don't miss your videos. I did the enneagram test and I'm a 5.i can't wait for the video on5

  • I can only imagine what PMB leaves out of his messages ??

  • Wow you are amazing, this coming from an 4 who does not worship God. Your style would make me come to church every day just to listen to you. Thank you so much for making these videos.

  • Awesome message. I am blessed.

  • I love this intro beat.

  • No music credit?

  • haha I have a hand sewn shirt that I printed the design on in a block printing studio in Delhi and then sewn by a village person in West Bengal from an art class I took in India…

  • I’m the first born and the black sheep. So it’s not always the middle child.

  • Thank you for making this!!!

  • This is good timing to relisten to this lol I was picked to be the champion for a specific missions project we are working on and I felt so inadequate. I typed my notes up yesterday, will present today and then tell the church the decision in two weeks…I kinda had been running from this though I had been asked before. I'm sure I'll comment on this video again ?

  • I am a 4 and this is absolutely amazing!!!! how cool it is to understand how God made me, gosh this is unreal.

  • WOW…I'm a 4, and I was bawling throughout almost the entire video…it was so on point. This may have been the best thing I've ever seen/read about being a 4; thank you for this. 🙂

  • I'm a 4. I mean, I think I'm a 4. I took a couple of online tests and came out as 4. I read about 4 in Richard Rohr's book and it really resinated with me. Most of this talk felt exactly like me, all except the crying. When I think I should be crying, I don't cry. But when there's something I feel that no one else seems to feel, I sometimes cry. Of course, I do have a diagnosed mood disorder for which I take anti-depressants and mood-stabalizers. Also, can't seem to find a church where I feel I belong. I've stopped looking but I miss being part of a community.

  • I am a 4 and had so many moments where I laughed in agreement. Thank you for uploading this Sandals Church!

  • It’s amazing to hear a sermon series on the enneagrams. I’m a 4, so naturally I cried throughout this whole sermon here. Thank you.

  • I’m a 4 but I love a good brand! ? Just might be a really hippy brand that most people don’t know about. I love aesthetics and that comes with loving brands. Just had to put that out there!

  • woooooow!!! THIS HERE!!

  • Like a true 4, I was crying in the car while listening to this message. Thanks for posting!

  • good stuff but he says "literally" too much…

  • Discovered the enneagram a year ago. It started a major healing journey for me. I knew God sent it as a tool on my life journey. But, because you don't hear much about Christianity and the enneagram, I second guessed myself a few times. I wept seeing this video pop up when I looked for anything new on type 4's today. I am passionate about the enneagram and even more passionate about Jesus. Thank you for bringing them together. God will be using this to change lives.

  • Nobody cares about how I feel.

    Nobody cares about what I think.

    Nobody cares about what I do.

    That makes me believe I'm no-one and not worth noticing.

    I will be different and unique so hopefully somebody will recognize me.

    Perhaps I'm missing certain qualities.

    If only I were as confident as him.

    If only I were as beautiful as her.

    Then maybe then I would be noticed and loved.

  • I’m a 4w5 and I’m always hiding ? I’ve faced a lot of rejection from the church even though I’m spirit filled and been in church most of my
    life. I always feel like they target me or isolate me. I’m a bit off beat. Anyway great video. I always wanted to teach on the enneagram because I’m passionate about unity in the body of Christ. I guess because I’ve felt rejected and see the ins and outs as to why it happens. I learned about the enneagram 17 years ago in a discipleship class and have been hooked ever since.

  • I can’t figure out if I’m a 3 or a 4

  • Why is this me lol?

  • It's quite simplistic and stereotypical. :/

  • I just deleted my instagram cuz I started to feel worse ..

  • Being comfortable in depression and hating labels! Sums it up (not actually bc I’m unique but?)

  • This is a watered-down, coddling take on the true nature of the enneagram material, which is not meant to just affirm our self-concepts or make us feel better about ourselves. Properly understood, properly applied, it's meant to actually rattle us awake. This pastor, rather, would treat the person in the type 4 trance as if they actually were soooo very unique and special, moreso than others—and that does not help anyone to grow.

  • This has been one of the most helpful tools for me. Please do more with this. As a four, I’ve listen to this probably 20 times because I often need to be reminded of the truth. Thank you for this.

  • Good info. But turn it down.
    I can’t hear message over the

  • High functioning four with a one bend 🙂
    Warned! This is amazing so glad I found the channel! One of the best Preachers out there too. All I watch is Furtick and the like, so wow I can’t believe it took so long to find this! I finally stayed for the worship at the end and do forgive the oneness now, I just love these videos and the church so I’m owning it a bit too much maybe. I’m not sure why the soprano has the background position and is the one with the melody. Not sure why the alto has the lead. The sound is perfect live at my church but, man, I can’t watch the worship online live, so I get that the boards don’t transfer maybe. But wow that power tenor is off the wall amazing. Just gotta lower his volume or blend him in more. ???? haha. I’m so glad you embrace the ones!!!!

  • This is very helpful and impactful video 🙂

  • Very encouraging to see the church regaining some of its splendor. It was so dead when I went many years ago. I'm not a churchgoer but I'm so happy to see the church being inspired and regaining the thread of power that it should be a beacon for.

  • The first video I’ve ever seen on 4’s that doesn’t make us out to be terrible awful people to be around lol I really enjoyed this and as a 4 I too cried the entire time ?

  • I’m the youngest and I’m a 4, I think the idea that I could never fit in with my older siblings is what made me feel insignificant compared to them. It’s not always the middle child, it depends a lot on nature, and a little on nurture. I am also the only person in my family in the heart triad! Which makes this 4 so happy ☺️

  • Wow! Christian fundamentalists interested in enneagram! A system popularized by Gurdjieff, the mystic and occult leader!

  • Wow. after searching so long. I cried for the whole sermon. Thank you.

  • Thank you so much, Ps Matt for this liberating truth for us 4s. The truth that we know sets us free. We matter.

  • I've been studying for the Enneagram for years, and despite being deeply Christian, I never thought to kind of combine the two and see it in a Christian perspective and therefore deepen my understanding of it. This is WONDERFUL. This touched me especially since I myself am a type 4. Thank you!

  • why he yellin? mate, you've got a mic, chill out :'D

  • came straight for my life man ???

  • PSALM 73 ❤

  • ????????

  • ?????

  • ?????❤️

  • This is my numberrrr

  • ??????

  • ??????

  • Praise the Lord I have had so much Christian discipleship I think I am a mature Christian four. However I still long after what I don’t have specifically romance

  • ????????

  • ?????

  • Amen

  • Amen

  • Amen

  • ????

  • After reading every possible article, watching every video, listening to podcasts on type 4s, I still found a lack of helpful advice or tips that might ease the harshness of everyday realities for 4s, so I decided to start a list of things I’ve learnt about being a type 4, with a hope that it will help other 4s out there in navigating this crazy, messy world. https://saadiapeerzada.wordpress.com/2019/06/03/advice-to-enneagram-type-4s/

  • My dude he knows the notebook I literally cry every time I see the notebook too ??

  • This is so me

  • 100

  • This dude is PREACHIN'!!

  • Well, doesn't that just explain, I don't know, EVERYTHING

  • I think Saul is a loyalist, not a 4. He was afraid and hid when he was appointed king. He wanted to please the people, so he didn't wait for Samuel and his fear led him to sin. That is in no way the path of an individualist. Also, he was an extremely unhealthy 6, and picked up an evil spirit, which made him even more paranoid and fearful. I would propose John the Baptist, locust eater or Jeremiah, the weeping prophet in a time of judgment, listening and waiting for a word from the Lord,are better scriptural examples of a 4. While I'm a 2, not a 4, I felt it did a disservice to 4's to use this example.

  • I am a 4! And THANK YOU! I feep the need to explain to people about me , but not to jesus, alzo i heard the resurrected king about 4 months ago and never knew why it stuck in my head til today , thank you pastor!

  • Thank you. I really needed this.

    And it's funny that he said I'm a 3w4. I'm the exact opposite… I'm a 4w3 haha

  • Wait…I’m a 4w3 and I’m super confused. ?

  • Ohhhhhhh boy, I laughed a few times, like whoa how did he know that? LOL! The double whammy is being a boy growing up into a man and being 4 – bruuuuuuuuuuuuuutal. I recall telling my dad in middle school, why do I have emotions like a girl? Mind you, that is was what I knew as sensitive. The two main areas I needed to mature was envy and thinking verse emotional living. Now, I'm just unique 🙂

  • I’m a four and your preaching is so wonderful… but as a four lol the intro bothers me!!!! Lol ? also,4w5 yo … I’m happy with others creativity, so long as it’s not interfering with what makes me special to my loved ones. Ugh!!!

  • When he said 4’s feel others emotion I smiled because I’m a 4 and I always know everyone’s feelings

  • This is dangerous. Go learn the roots of Enneagrams. Just because Bible verse is included doesn't make it ok. Satan knows how to use it. Wake up! Live for Jesus, not your personality! Stay with the Word only!

  • He dissed type 3 oof

  • I’m gonna tell a story about type four now

    There was a cluster of Berry’s doing the same thing, but one day. One berry decides that they should try something new. In fact some of the berries joined in. That unique berry had haters too, they once made the other berries do the same things. They left that unique berry to the dust. That berry was depressed, but one berry cared about that unique berry, that berry stood up and be itself. That’s how that unique berry made other clusters of berries. The end

  • I thought I was a 9 but am I a 4? The biggest similarity I see is having my opinion not get noticed and not wanting to lead. Has anyone else gotten the 9 and 4 mixed up?

  • I’m a four and I watched this and everything is so true I read the description of a four and heard it but this sermon truly told me every detail about myself. Now that I think about this this applies to virtually everything and I’m the last but both of my siblings have left for college and I’ve always feared my parents getting too caught up in them. I’ve always felt like I lacked so much and when I got something I found something else. This is so good keep preaching.

  • Cried!! 4w3 here, thanks for this. I am extremely envious and jealous, I really DO need to learn like you said to praise God for my uniqueness and thank and celebrate the gifting of others!

  • I am not a Christian, but I really appreciated this…nice to hear various perspectives.

  • Didn’t learn anything here about 4s

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