7 Red Flags In Dating You Should NEVER Ignore


One of the difficult things about dating is that sometimes
people put a version of themselves forward that doesn’t correspond to who they really are. So you can start a relationship, think you’re dating this wonderful person and find out after several months that that’s in fact not the case. And that’s why in this video, I want to give you seven red flags that you absolutely need to be aware of to avoid dating someone that you don’t want to be with. And this is true of both men and women and I’m gonna focus on things that aren’t so obvious and not just jealousy or clinginess — things that might be happening that you’re not noticing that if you did, you could save yourself a lot of pain. So the first thing is that if the person that you are dating has friends that you don’t like, chances are the person you’re dating is someone you eventually will not like. Now, of course you want to treat them as an individual, right? You’re saying, “They’re not like their friends. They don’t have these qualities so why should I ascribe to them qualities that I see in these other people?” And if that’s a wonderful feeling but the truth is we are all products of the five people that we hang out with the most. We’re like our friends especially if we spend a lot of time with them. So if you think that the person you’re dating doesn’t
have the qualities that you see in their friend — maybe in terms of ambition, they’re unkind, or whatever — guess what? The person that you are seeing is probably putting on a face; in reality, they’re much more like their friends and they want you to believe that they just want to impress you early on it so they don’t let you know. The second thing is very similar to that and it’s if you want to know how somebody’s gonna behave when things aren’t going so well and they no longer feel the need to impress you, look at how they trait waitstaff, look at how they treat service people, and look at how they treat anyone in the world that seems or they feel has lower status than they do. When people go out to a restaurant, one of the nice things is that there is a waitstaff that serves you and all the times, people feel like they do not need to impress that person because they’re already paying them. Guess what? That means that they’re going to behave in a way that is constant for anyone that they are not trying to impress and you will eventually become that person for them so while they might be very sweet to you and understanding of your flaws, if they are really, really rude or unkind or not understanding when the waiter makes a mistake when that’s you after several months you will likely receive that same pattern. So if you don’t like the treatment the way that they treat waitstaff, you’re probably eventually not going to like the way that they treat you. The third piece and this one can feel good is be wary when someone breaks confidence in order to tell you a secret especially early on. So if someone comes up to you and during the course of your conversation says, “Don’t repeat this. I was asked not to say this but…” and then tells you something, that’s a pretty good indicator that they are breaking the confidence
of somebody else who asked them not to say something; in fact, it might be somebody that they probably
have known longer than they’ve known you. And while it might make you feel special to go,
“Oh, my gosh. They trust me so much they’re telling me this,” eventually, you’ll be the person telling them secrets
that they are going and blabbing on about. But secrets aren’t even the real issue here; it’s how they treat their word. They likely, at least implicitly, let that person know that they wouldn’t say it and then they broke their word; they told you. That is a horrible, horrible trait in someone that you’re looking to date as a partner. You need someone that really respects their word and
if you get indication that they don’t, you should probably get out. The fourth thing is going to be heavily engaging in social media
or anything else that is very appearance-based. Now, I’ve made videos on social media;
it is in my business especially — I’m here on YouTube. It’s an odd relationship that I have but one thing that I have noticed in my own life and with other people is that the amount of time that someone spends cultivating an identity and an appearance in their life in whatever form it takes — any social media or even just gossiping or letting people know that they did a certain thing because they’re concerned with reputation — that tends to correspond to less time spent on their character or less time spent on who they are. So while they might look like they’re making all this wonderful progress in their meeting these amazing people or climbing mountains are meditating, if that’s all the photos and the imagery and the words that you’re seeing on social media, it can very very often be the case that behind the scenes that I’ve heard and seen so many stories that is the complete opposite. On the contrary, when someone is doing those things, you might get a post here and there but it’s not going to be the main focus; they’re actually doing it in their life. So if you and the person you’re dating have very different social media habits, sorry but it’s likely that you have very different values as well and you are probably not a match. The fifth thing if someone has a history of not having long-lasting relationships, be wary. This one is perhaps a little bit more obvious but I feel like I need to say it because I have part of myself and I know that a lot of people
out there do feel like they want to rescue people. When they see someone that it’s in dire straits, they feel like, “Oh my gosh, I can help. It makes me feel good and makes me
feel special to help plus it helps them,” fantastic. And it’s very easy to be lured in by stories of, “This is why I’m no longer close to my family. This is why I had to get rid of my best friend and then
my new best friend did this and betrayed me in this way…” but if you start to hear these stories on loop and you
find that this person has no long lasting relationships, that is generally a sign, of course, that the common thread is them and that the stories that you’re getting are rationalizations and the family members or friends would have a very different tale. Now, it is of course the case that people do come from
really rough family backgrounds on occasion and that in order to live their healthiest life they might have
had to extricate himself from their family or from a group of friends. But if it’s a repeat thing and you’re seeing it all
the time then you really do need to be wary. Next up — this is very, very related to this one — number six is going to be — if they talk about their breakups and their ex in a
way that puts all of the responsibility onto their ex that is a horrible, horrible sign and of course it feels nice for a second when someone’s telling you about your breakup and you go, “Oh my god, that wasn’t your fault. It was your ex who did all these crazy things you poor soul.” But really, we all make mistakes whether it’s in choosing the person and staying with the person and creating fights and perpetuating fights, if you’re in a situation and in a relationship that is ongoing, you are partially to blame there is things to be learned and responsibilities to be taken. So if you’re talking to someone — this is true in business and this is true in any sort of split that happens in life — and you are not hearing them take responsibility
in any way, “It’s just that this person is a bad person, they did this, and good people like me just get taken advantage of,” guess what? They have no self-awareness, they have not self-reflected,
and they haven’t fixed the problem that they contributed to which means you’re up; next, they’re gonna have the same
problems in the relationship with you so be very wary. On the other hand, if they do say, “Here’s how I contributed.
Here’s how they contributed. you put those two together; it was explosive. Here’s what I would like to do different,” even though there’s a problem that they’re saying that they have that simple awareness that they’re working on it is oftentimes so much better than a lack of awareness. And the last thing this is one that I was guilty of in my younger years and it was seeing the person that I had just started dating or seeing as perfect. And oftentimes, this happens when you’ve been friends with someone or when you’ve really idolized them for a long time from afar, you’ve wanted to get to know them, and finally you work up the courage to speak to them and, what do you know, now you’re in a relationship — this happened to me,
I lucked out once — and I saw the girl that I was seeing as perfect. And very, very quickly, that relationship fell apart and it wasn’t because of anything horrible that either of us did but it was because I was dating an idea of her. She wasn’t a flesh-and-blood person with flaws to me; she was this perfect image of someone who would make my life better. And oftentimes, when people see you as perfect, it can feel really good like a lot of these things can but it’s an indicator that they don’t have the ability to treat you like an honest-to-god human being and when you do reveal your flaws which we all have, they might not handle it well, they might not help
you get through it, and they might not even be able to cope with it. So if someone, very early on, is seeing you as a perfect
version of yourself, that is actually not a good thing. If they see you as a better version of yourself while still accepting and even beginning to love or work with some of your flaws, that is a completely different story and is actually healthy. But if they just see you as perfect and can’t see your flaws, sorry to say — it’s not that you don’t have flaws, it’s because — that is red flag number seven. So I hope that these red flags have helped you and maybe you have identified something in your own life that you can get out of early or that will save you down the line. Another thing that we have sort of related to this, we have a video set up on first impressions. And if you want to check out the four emotions that make an amazing first impression and a scenario including in dating, if this is something that you’re interested in, go ahead click below; we have a link which will take you to a page. You put in your email and you can learn the four emotions to make an amazing first impression in any situation anywhere cross-culturally; you just got to create these emotions in the right order. So, I hope that you guys have enjoyed this video. I am again doing a live a live stream on Facebook. It’s gonna be 11:00 a.m. tomorrow, the day of the release, so that’s going to be Tuesday at 11 a.m. Pacific time and 2 p.m. Eastern time. If you follow us on Facebook, I’m gonna go live; you can ask me your questions, we’ll have a good time, and if you enjoy this video
I hope that you decide to subscribe to the channel. Smash that notification bell, the Likes, or whatever you want… comment. I think I’m supposed to say all this stuff but honestly, I don’t know that it matters. I just really hope that you enjoyed the video so that is it for this video and I look forward to seeing you in the next one.

100 Comments

  • I hang out with Hitler, Stalin, Mao, kim, and amin but Im a good guy

  • nr 5 really hit home. Especially since you mentioned the desire/drive to help people in dire straights. Litterally picked someone of the streets and sorted a home for them and helpt them get psych help and a job, because of said stories of evil parents kicked her out and such. Turns out, her parents are lovely people she's just a demon and got kicked out because of it and was basically exploiting me for all the help I offered

  • The fact is being in Love make people have UnLogical experience beyond the head it just happened until you realized what s going on in the end.

  • I can’t even think of 5 people I see every week. And I spend almost all my time alone… sad stuff

  • you date girls with friends…then you "date" with her friends. avoid girls with friends circles.

  • If they have a gob like a letterbox.

  • Charisma on Command likes numbers. We are the 5 people we hang out with most. 4 ways to make a great first impression. 7 red flags that you shouldn’t date someone.

  • his face is so happy I wanna punch him

  • So you’ve met my ex wife?

  • Someone who is heavily engaged in social media or anything that is very appearance based? So I should become a monk is what you're saying?

  • I'd like to add an addendum to Red Flag 1: If her friends or family don't like you, run. She will not choose you, the new guy in her life, over the people who have been in her life for years.

  • This humbled me. Thank you.

  • I watch a lot of your videos and in this I noticed excessive blinking compared with all your other videos.

  • How about just NOT DATING? Women aren’t worth it MGTOW

  • My red flag? They’re democrat. Hell nooooo

  • Red flag: they don’t like animals

  • Was sceptic at first but there are some good points here. Also applies well to hiring staff and such things.
    Some common things here are being deceptive and correlated with this having a warped world view whatever came first.

  • Let say that Guy falls in Love with THE same person as you do. Why would he revel His tactics to whole world ? Just be honest THE Zionist need to destroys other people's look by Making Them bald before dating. When he needs to block other people's income to secure win. And if that wasnt enough he needs to make sure your sleeping habits crash. When as top of THE iceberg THE zionist tryed to kill you just to be sure to win. IF you survive you have to listen when THE Zionist explain how he Hates to lose and that he was a natural Born winner. IF you say Shallow & deep!

  • Nonsense. If anyone knew why person a) feels attracted to person z) and not b) or c) or d) and so on then Coca Cola would have the patent and be making gazillions out of it.
    These American rules about who you should be attracted to are just socio-economic indicators for transactional relationships.
    But love makes no sense. I dont believe yaboy here knows a thing about it.

  • Amazing video, made me do some introspection myself. And I just started dating someone as well, (almost) guilty of the idolising thing.

  • 7th flag just deeply touched….this is wats happening with me

  • Oh my god! His mouth

  • People with no self awareness bug me

  • jokes on you im single

  • the "not having long-lasting relationships" part is iffy. The one after is more accurate. It's not about how long their relationships lasted, but how they TALK about them that matters most. You can be in a meaningless 3 year relationship, or a meaningful 3 week relationship. What did you take away from it?

  • this is spot on

  • These are on point!

  • Biggest turn off is when they're always on their phone. It's so annoying and rude when you're trying to have a conversation and they are focused on their phone.

  • Not all relationships end because of a fight on conversation some end or not work because of distance.

  • About point number 8, you can't really generalize it to all people.
    What if I married a psychopath and didn't know that before? Got manipulated, my money had been stolen by him, had to fix all what he ruin in our relation and was even forced to appologize for his own mistakes?
    Otherwise we would not survive. Untill I've had enough cuz the abuse never ends unless I move myself out.

  • i have all of these redflags

  • You’ve described my mother. And that’s why I don’t speak to her.

  • 2019, no American woman has had a long term relationship. Which is why we quit dating them… lol

  • The social media thing is ALWAYS a red flag to me!! I prefer guys that barely spend time on social media or it’s simply not a big part of their lives. Guys that care too much of their image are a major turn off

  • If you are dating a feminist, run and don't look back

  • I'm toxic. I tell my boyfriend everything. Even secrets.

  • Ehh number 6 you gotta be careful with. If your ex cheated on you when you stayed loyal, then that's not really anything about you.

  • Seems like you took five minutes of google searching before you made this video -_-

  • Be hard to judge me by my friends; lol I don't have any real friends.

  • It is a popular misconception that you tend to have characteristics of your give closest friends, popularized by self help gurus, mass media and pop psychology.
    NO evidence suggests this, it is unfounded. The statistic shows a higher corellation than chance that friends share some commonalities. Imagine that! Friends have things in common, and a study shows it isn't chance. Like people choose friends they have something in common with! Astounding revelation!

  • The game is rigged; the only way to win is to not play, I decided not to play-MGTOW FOR LIFE.

  • So I love your videos! Hope you can make a video about why men chase? And if chasing is something healthy that women should want to take place?
    · Is there a difference between courtship and chasing
    ·Can women chase … Should they?
    Lastly what is the difference between pursuing a man or women opposed to chasing them?

    I am a fully confident women who let men approach me but when they do I cling on way to hard to try to skim through the exhausting getting to know your favorite color and skipping right into the deep and nitty gritty. It seems like I'm obsessed with figuring out who people really are and I get annoyed when they wont let me into thier world. Anyways that got me friendzoned quickly. Which eventually My persistence after bieng friendzoned got me blocked.
    So what Is it about men who dont like to be heavily pursued by a girl when they initially started the interest. Why does it turn men off when women show to much interest? Do we really need to pretend we aren't interested or play hard to get because I just can't do that. I get excited when I meet people and I wanna dive right in. I am learning to slow down
    And not rush people.

  • Red Flag, people who always talk with : me and I

  • would not have guessed he dated chicks.

  • I was dating a girl from China — BIG red flag (with a few yellow stars)

  • That is why I make absolutely no attempt to wash my cabbagy musk away – might as well be authentic to how it will inevitably end up, ^oo^

  • gold diggers with expensive tastes, most women fit this category these days, gone are the days of liking the person instead of their bank account.

  • Not that I needed any kind of assurance, BUT I think as general as this is, it's very true. I'm 100% sure, like hands down, that I'm in a relationship with my future husband.

  • "birds of the same feather flock together"

  • Good points to follow. I would add if the other person shows that they are morally impaired…don't ever ignore that!

  • Also, ask the person to name 3 things that they need to improve about themselves and pay attention to their answer.

  • Also, someone is quick to interrupt you when you speak. If they do that then they have no concern for you and what you have to say.

  • DATING IS A WASTE OF TIME
    HOOKER or MGTOW
    Good luck

  • You are the man!

  • wise beyond your years

  • 8. People who put pineapple on their pizza

  • I need genuine advise. It goes along with the first one. My friends are kind of the worst and when I'm around them the worst in me is brought out. I don't wanna be victim of the first one and be that guy that's hiding his true self and pretending like he's not the same as his friends but that's totally me. What do I do

  • You need to read more on the phycological impacts to why someone might stay in a relationship that is bad before leaving an ex. If you talk to some who was sexually abused, raped or apart of domestic violence there is much more to the situation and could totally not be their fault. And you not being a professional on those matters are on very thin ice and have no ground to stand on saying to avoid those people and talk as if they have some sort of fault.

  • do girls get turned off when you don't have friends?

  • Damn I like u now

  • Genius stuffs👍👍👏👏

  • Then I am like my Boston Terrier

  • Apply all this to Trump

  • I have exactly 5 friends lol

  • What about when a person you dated would mention ex lovers when around each other when you definitely were no where near the topic.

  • Some more Red Flags for everyone to consider:

    -The Canadian flag

    -The Swiss flag

    -The Chinese flag

    -The Turkish flag

  • Based on this video I will never have friends in my life. Haha😂

  • My ex called the waiters : they are basically "slaves" for us . Lower class . They mean nothing

    I Broke it off right on the spot . He was mad and tried blackmailing me . Jokes on him I got nothing to hide or be embarrassed off. Lunatic

  • Red flag number 8… they cheated on someone else to be with you

  • Some more Red Flags for everyone to consider:

    -The Canadian flag

    -The Swiss flag

    -The Chinese flag

    -The Turkish flag

  • I don't have any friends and I don't want any.

  • Remember girls, if your date's smile makes him look like the joker, RUN

  • Not gonna lie I have some of these traits 😐

  • I always wonder for truths and useful advice like this, who on earth would hit the thumbs down.

  • I can’t get over those American TEETH 😁

  • this guys mouth is gigantic

  • U have a nice voice

  • This video #1 told me this was more about dating in high school or college… Or in your 20s. People beyond their 30s are friends with themselves, and realize by then, friends are for the insecure lol

  • Charlie I 've watched tons of your videos. One thing they all have in common.. They are all helpful

  • I am sorry but number 4 does not make sense.

  • 2. be wary when someone breaks confidence…………………. FUUUUUUUUU… i give up, there are NO WOMAN that do NOT do that. that's impossible.

  • I was dating a girl they called Red Flag, is that a red flag?

  • I first discovered his chanell a few days ago. The guy has good tips in general and I do agree with him but not completely. At least not on the "Social Media" subject. I am more active on my instagram than my gf. I post more stories, events, videos ect. She hardly posts any but we still have an awesome relationship. I agree that social media can have an impact on a relationship but not that much. Anyways I hope he continues with his videos cause he's preety cool. Greetings from the Balkans !

  • The first tip is cool
    but how can someone judge me when I have no best friend…
    I just go from group to group of friends

  • Unfortunately people ignore these all the time. Sexuality Coach here.

  • So there’s basically no women out there I can date… Got it.

  • great video!

  • No, we aren't like the 5 people we hang out with the most unless you have no strength of character.

  • 7 out of 7 </3

  • 4 is so true haha.

  • What do men think about women who like to talk about true crime cases, including analyzing crime scenes and doing armchair psychological profiles of criminals, witnesses & victims?

    My ex never really complained about me or my habits except for that.

    We scheduled dinner with another couple. At the time, I was really into JFK & Marilyn Monroe. Ahead of the date, he politely says, “Please don’t talk about JFK & Marilyn.” I said, “OK.”

    But when we were eating dinner, it just slipped out. And the female of the couple we were with goes, “OMG, JFK & Marilyn! I love it!”….Point is, so many women are into crime these days. Guys, is that a turn-off? What kind of sign is it of future behavior (besides watching mostly police shows on TV)?

  • Very insightful! Thank you!!

  • What I find hysterically amusing is you date the same very good looking wrong person, with different names, over and over again. Occasionally I'd go to restroom come back and 5 guys are laughing with my now happily laughing date, I'd secretly pay bill and great tip, ask ""give this $20 to her, say, "cab fare", then a last look leave, but strangely feel way lucky, call me ole fashioned. I'm quite sure she got a ride. And the worldly bar tender would knowingly wink.

  • My last boyfriend had the first and last red flags, OMG.

  • The real problem is that we are all too political correct.. offended by EVERYTHING..nothing works for us eventually…
    My parents were married after a few dates, untill now they're still tolerant towards eachothers' flaws..
    There's no perfect person .. ull b hurt if u try to find one😬

  • Sometimes some of us aren’t even given a chance to prove our worth. Perhaps it’s just being too good and it’s their loss from it. Might be better off just staying single.

  • Sometimes really nice good people marry abusers. You aren't taking into account good people that are with abusive people.

  • This is really good content.

  • I have all these red flags 😂

  • thanks man for the advice now I can go out and date some chicks

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